Leeanne R. Hay - NPE* a story guide for unexpected DNA discoveries: (*a non-paternity event--when Dad is not your biological father)

Copyright 2021 Leeanne R. Hay

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-64718-608-1

Epub ISBN: 978-1-64718-609-8

Mobi ISBN: 978-1-64718-610-4

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Hay, Leeanne R., 1959

NPE* A story guide for unexpected DNA discoveries

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020909169

Published by BookLocker.com, Inc., St. Petersburg, Florida.

BookLocker.com, Inc.

2021

First Edition

DISCLAIMER

This book details the authors personal experiences, research, and opinions about unexpected DNA discoveries leading to non-paternity events (NPE), the genetic genealogy term for a break in the hereditary line. Most commonly today, it is attributed to people who find out their biological father (BF) is not the father listed on their birth certificate (BCF). The author is not a geneticist, attorney, or healthcare professional, nor does she represent herself as such.

The author and publisher are providing this book and its contents on an as is basis and make no representations or warranties of any kind with respect to this book or its contents. The author and publisher disclaim all such representations and warranties, including, for example, warranties of merchantability and healthcare for a particular purpose, or legal actions. In addition, the author and publisher do not represent or warrant that the information accessible via this book is accurate, complete, or current.

The statements made about products and services have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition or disease. Please consult with your own physician or healthcare specialist or attorney regarding the suggestions and recommendations made in this book.

Except as specifically stated in this book, neither the author or publisher, nor any authors, contributors, or other representatives will be liable for damages arising out of or in connection with the use of this book. This is a comprehensive limitation of liability that applies to all damages of any kind, including (without limitation) compensatory; direct, indirect, or consequential damages; loss of data, income or profit; loss of or damage to property and claims of third parties.

You understand that this book is not intended as a substitute for consultation with a licensed healthcare or legal practitioner, such as your physician, psychologist, or attorney. Before you begin any health program or change your lifestyle in any way, you will consult your physician or other licensed healthcare practitioner to ensure that you are in good health and that the examples contained in this book will not harm you.

This book provides content related to topics physical and/or mental health issues. As such, use of this book implies your acceptance of this disclaimer.

Dedication

To my husband, Gary there is no one like you.

Preface

I am a freelance journalist and writer. This book is a nonfiction story guide about my personal experience and the research I completed over three years. All of the events described occurred. The people written about in this book are real. Unfortunately, some have passed away, and as of publication, some are very much alive.

I chose to use pseudonyms or first names-only for some people for a variety of reasons. Those who elected impolite over respectful interaction or tried to obscure the truth do not need to be named. How they conducted themselves and what they said is factually reported. As the banner on my Twitter account @LeeanneRH reads: Anything you say or do may be used in a story. They know who they are.

Additionally, I dont seek to disclose the identity of anyone because of a choice to ignore someone in their lives who is NPE, nor cause worry to those who fear an imagined threat.

Also, I have respected the request for confidentiality by several NPEs whose personal correspondence with me is included in this book. Their identities are theirs alone to publicly acknowledge when and if they choose to reveal them. Other NPEs have permitted me to use their full legal names. I have met them on my journey to create new bonds and embrace old ones. They, too, saw the need for a book like this and encouraged me during those early turbulent months and years of work.

For me, there will never be too many connections and friendships, too much love or laughter in my life. Therefore, I hope I have brought some to all of them as well.

If you are an NPE reading this book, please be patient with and kind to yourself. The secret of your paternity festered for many years, perhaps decades. It will take time for you to unravel it all and find peace. A lovely new family may await fortunate NPEs. My NPE was a mix of blessings and burdens.

Some NPEs will learn horrible truths about their conception, medical and psychological histories, or revisit childhood traumas. Please consider seeking out licensed professional counseling or therapy (more on this later).

If you are reading this because an NPE has contacted you as a new relative, consider this quote from Amelia Earhart. She said, A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.

The NPE is not responsible for the deceptions of others (no matter how wonderful or upstanding you think the other was or is). I will share with you that what NPEs want most is what I consider a fundamental human right, to have a complete and accurate medical history, and why it is crucial. A few chapters will detail the significance of this point of view and briefly echo it for emphasis.

A responsive person might also provide an NPE with a few photos of their biological parent(s). Pictures are a visual reference to an NPEs unknown past and, like a map, can help them to navigate their unknown identity.

For my peace of mind and heart, Joseph Edward Rebic will always be my cherished Dad. He claimed me as his own, held me when I cried, flew homemade kites with me, and laughed with me about the crazies. My dad did the best he could with love, and without malice, towards me. I would not have survived my childhood home to be the woman I am today without him.

My biological father will always be called Uncle Tom. He was my mentor, and I loved him. His generosity, kindness, and time spent with me lasted until he became incapacitated by a stroke.

Uncle Tom did not claim me as his daughter before he died. Instead, he perpetrated a secret that would hurt his other children and me. (His wife, who survived him by over twenty years, passed away two years before I took a DNA test.) Uncle Toms support of my education is a priceless legacy from which I still benefit. I would not be the woman I am without having had him in my life, too.

I am appreciative of all the good moments and actions my mother and these two men contributed to my life. I have forgiven all of them their sins and shortcomings that negatively impacted me. I hope that I am shown the gift of grace and forgiveness by others in their hearts and minds, too.

God blessed the broken road is a song lyric written by Marcus Hummon, Jeff Hanna, and Bobby Boyd, and sums up this chapter in the book of my life. I now have a deeper understanding and compassion for myself and others because of all my parents.