E.J. Divitt - Im Engaged! Now What?

Im Engaged! NowWhat?

By EJ Divitt

Published by EJ Divitt. Copyright 2014.Distributed by Smashwords.

Congratulations! You are engaged! Youare probably incredibly excited. I bet you keep sneaking looks atthat sparkling ring on your finger and waving it around to catchthe light. Maybe you had a manicure or did your nails inanticipation of everyone looking at your hand. You are thrilled andecstatic and maybe a little scared or overwhelmed.

Suddenly you realize you have a weddingto plan. Where do you start? What do you need to do? There areprobably a thousand things going through your head but lets see ifwe can put them in some kind of order.

First you need to tell theimportant people in your life. Make surethey hear it from one of you and not from a third party. Do not letyour parents read it on Facebook or Twitter before they hear itfrom you. Pick up the phone and call them. After you have told themost important people in your life, feel free to send out a massemail. Go ahead and tweet it or change your status on Facebook.Stand at the end of your driveway and yell, Imengaged!

Second, you need to have acouple of big conversations with your fiance. What kind of wedding do you want? The first thing you need tonail down is what kind of ceremony you both want. Sit down and havea serious talk about what you want. You will also need to considerwhat your families want as well but dont let that be the wholefocus of your planning. Be prepared to compromise! You are notbuying anything at this point. You are just brainstorming. This canchange as new options present themselves but you need a place tostart.

Here are some things to think about interms of what kind of wedding you want to have.

Indoors or outdoors? Are you thinkingcountry club or beach? Park or temple?

Religious or secular? You can decide toget married in a church or a park or the town hall.

Do you want to keep it small or inviteeveryone you know? (or something in between)

Fancy or casual?

Is there going to be a theme such aseveryone wears black and silver or the decorations are all Hawaiianthemed?

Destination wedding or local one? Youcould travel to Las Vegas or get married at the local park or on acruise ship.

Do you want to dress up in a fancy gownor tux? Would you prefer a suit or cocktail dress? Maybe you wantto wear a costume or get married in jeans. It is up to the two ofyou. Feel free to brainstorm and come out with any number ofoutlandish ideas.

This is not the time to decide that youwant 30 swans swimming around a castle. This is just to decide onthe basics. Indoor/outdoor etc

Of course if you decide to just elope,you can skip the most of this and go straight to the part where youexplain it to your families.

Once you have an idea of thetype of wedding you want, then you need tohave the dreaded money talk. This meanshaving a serious conversation about what you can afford to spendand what you are willing to spend. This will be your wedding budgetand will dictate a lot of your future choices.

Remember you have a marriage to pay forafter the wedding is over. Maybe you have $25,000 in the bank. Areyou sure you want to spend that on the wedding? Maybe you wouldprefer to spend $10,000 and have the savings towards a house or achild?

I would recommend that you think twicebefore taking out a loan for the wedding. I know it is tempting toborrow the money so you can have the big elaborate day of yourdreams. Before you do, decide if you want to be paying for that dayfor years to come. It could delay you being able to pay off studentloans or get a house. Now would be the time to set up a savingsplan if you plan to save up for your wedding. Set the plan andstick to it.

Do not assume that thebrides parents will pay for the wedding. While it was tradition, it was tradition based on the factthat the young couple would have no home or resources of their ownto draw on. People are waiting longer these days to get married.They often have homes or apartments of their own before gettingmarried. You can sit your parents down and politely ask them ifthey would be able to help you with paying for the wedding.Whatever their answer, thank them graciously. If you aredisappointed with their answer, keep it to yourself until you areaway from them. Do not complain to other family members that yourparents are not helping you out.

Once you have a budgetamount in mind, you can figure out what venue you can afford andhow many people you can invite. Generallythe more people you invite, the more the wedding will cost. You canlower this some if you chose a venue that is less expensive perplate or if you opt to go for a cocktail reception instead of afull meal.

You should decide what itemsyou do not want to compromise on in terms of spending. Some things will be more important to you thanothers. For me it was the dress, the tux and the photographer. Foryou it may mean spending more for the country club for thereception or getting your favorite band.

It is customary to tip individuals whowork at your wedding as long as they are not the owners of theirown business. For instance, if you hire a large firm who sends outa DJ, you would tip the DJ. If he is a one man show, then it is notnecessary to tip. People you would tip might include thehairdresser or the photographer.

Allow plenty of room in yourbudget for incidentals. They tend to addup. At the end of the book, you will find a list of the categoriesin the budget for my own wedding. I did not include prices as theprices of things will vary wildly around the country or world oreven from year to year. These are just intended to give youcategories to plan around.

Set up a wedding bankaccount. It could be savings or checking.This account should only ever hold money designated for the weddingcosts. If your plan is to save a certain amount of money every weekor month, you should set up to have it automatically transferred tothis account.

You might want to insureyour engagement ring. If your engagementring is expensive, talk to your insurance agent about adding it toyour home insurance policy in case something happens toit.

You need to pick a date forthe wedding. It is probably the number onequestion people will ask you. (It may be the second after, How didhe ask you?) The choice of date will often be driven more by whatkind of wedding you want then the date itself. Exceptions includeif you want to get married on the anniversary of the day you met oron a significant day such as December 13, 2014 (12/13/14). A lot ofcouples got married on April 5, 2006 (4/5/6) and July 7, 2007(7/7/7).

Generally though, the wedding date willbe at least partially influenced by where you are getting married.You need to consider the weather. You do not generally have anoutdoor ceremony in Maine in January or in the desert in August. Ifyou have a particular place you have decided to get married like afamous castle or the country club, your choice may be limited bywhat dates are available at that location.

You may need to be a little flexibleabout the date at this point. If you pick for example, July 19,2014 and then find that there is a convention in town that day, youmay want to change it. If you are planning to pick a three dayweekend or a holiday, this may affect how many people attend.People often make plans for holidays or long weekends many monthsin advance.

Everything at this point ispreliminary. You are just trying to get a framework so you canstart to plan. Think of it like outlining an essay. You write thebasics and then change it as you need to as it develops. You willneed to choose a time of day at some point as well i.e. a morningceremony, afternoon or evening.

Spend a lot of time looking at bridalmagazines, searching bridal sites and staring at wedding dresses.You know you want to do it. Check out venues, hair styles,bridesmaids dresses, crafts for favors. Consider itresearch.