EllynAnne Geisel - Apronisms: Pocket Wisdom for Every Day

The Apron Book

Apronisms copyright 2008 by EllynAnne Geisel. All rights reserved. Printed in Malaysia. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106.

E-ISBN: 978-0-7407-8864-2

Library of Congress Control Number: 2007934892

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aph o rism 1. A concise statement of a principle.

2. A terse formulation of a truth or sentiment.

Merriam-Websters 11th
Collegiate Dictionary

A prons stir up memories of home, motherhood, and love. Reminders of recipes, relationships, and holidays, aprons are homemade icons that represent a familys history. Aprons tie us all together. You know how the flotsam and jetsam of daily living finds its way into your apronsscraps of paper with important phone numbers, a special shell, some loose change, the lost earring, rubber bands, and LEGO blocks. So it just makes sense to look to our apron strings and apron pockets for little hints on how to savor and enjoy each day.

The following pages are inspired by the value I find in lifes details and my love of a good aphorism. I wanted to share some of the thoughts, observations, advice, and tips Ive gathered over the years and put them all in one place, like one big apron pocket. From the specific to the impressionistic, the ideas are now collected here for safekeeping in your own heart.

Dream big, but furnish your castle in the sky room by room.

D ream it. Believe it. Then work your patootie off every single day and you just might achieve it. Take one step at a time toward the goal.

Change the dish towel.

H ang a fresh towel and your kitchen will look neater and cleaner, even when it isnt! Note the satisfaction you feel when draping an ironed towel on the oven door. Vintage tea towels. Embroidered beauties. Simple renewal.

Dont plunk the beaters into the sink until youve each had a lick

W hat better way to wait for the timer to ding than to sample the batter? When my children were around, I was the model, unselfish mommy who gave each child a beater to lick clean. But now that my sons have flown the coop, I lick one beater and save the other for my husband. Be sure to leave plenty of batter on the beaters to make the licking worthwhile. Whats the fun without yum?

Slow dancing in life isnt the same as waltzing through it.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mahatma Gandhi

L ife is a dance, sometimes fast paced with challenges, sometimes stable as a glide. To waltz through life is to pass by without taking notice; to slow dance means to savor, observe, relish, experience, and share. Remember the days when we strolled babies, walked at a mosey, and rode bikes at a toodle? Take time to slow dance.

Be a spendthrift when it
comes to kindness and a
miser with criticism.

A fter reading a pet intelligence test, we timed how long it took our beloved Truffles to Find the Hidden Treat. When we computed her score, it was clear Truffles was no Doggie Einstein, a fact I stopped my husband from noting aloud, because theres no point hurting her feelings. He looked at me like Id lost my mind.

Id hurt plenty of feelings during my teenage years and thankfully had learned along the way that kindness is a fundamental decency we owe to ourselves and to others.

Truffles might have forgiven or forgotten the verbal slight, but we humans always remember criticism. I raised my boys to be kinder than necessary because people are not the dog.

Grace is a multipurpose word, contemplative and positive.

Share show
say grace.

You can never have too many aprons or too many memories.

A t a gas station in rural Georgia, the proprietor directed me round back for the ladies facility. I feared a compromise to my plumbing standards, but the space was pristinely tiled and clean, with a waft of Pine-Sol in the air. Best of all, there were items to purchase displayed lovingly on the shelves along the wallcolored glasses, porcelain figures, and a stack of neatly folded aprons with price tags dangling from bitty safety pins. Eureka!

I commemorated my discovery of the bathroom-with-shopping by purchasing the entire cache of aprons.

When my husband tells this story, he recalls it as the most expensive pit stop on record. My version is more about the serendipity of aprons being in that bathroom rather than hats or books. We have fond memories of that road trip in common. Aprons and memories. You can never have too many of either.

Hang your fantasy
wardrobe right next to
your real-life attire.

I n my closet are two sets of clothing: my Real-Life Attire and a Fantasy-Life Wardrobe. On most days, I wear an outfit that coordinates with my life as it is. But every so often, I zip into a confection more suitable for walking the red carpet than walking the dog, and then I go walk the dog!

Wearing an apron is just good sense.

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were just going down to the corner.

Jack Handey

A n apron is domestic armor, shielding our clothing against the splatter and tatter of keeping house. Wear an apron and your guard is up.

A glass of milk and slice of
frosted cake can set
anything wrong to right.

I f somethings a piece of cake, its simple. For me, a piece of cake was always, literally, the simplest way to fix my boys childhood and adolescent anguish. When one was cut from the team or lost a class election or left out of a party or wrongly disciplined (only wrongly) and kept after school: cake.

Its a piece of cake. Slang: Something thats easy and pleasurable to do.

I let him eat cake. Not a measured sliver of unfrosted pound cake, mind you, but a two-inch carving of yellow cake made three inches tall by the swirl of chocolate frosting on top and between the layers. And to wash each bite past the lump in his throat, there was always a tall glass of cold milk.