Latinas Unidas En Servicio Comunidades - My Family, My Self: The Latino Guide to Emotional Well-Being, (Mi Familia y yo: Guía de Bienestar Emocional)

My Family,
My Self

Hazelden Publishing

Center City, Minnesota 55012

800-328-9000
hazelden.org/bookstore

2014 by Comunidades Latinas Unidas En Servicio (CLUES)

All rights reserved. Published 2014.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwisewithout the express written permission of the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.

ISBN: 978-1-61649-529-9

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress.

Editors notes:

Most names, details, and circumstances have been changed to protect the privacy of those mentioned in this publication.

This publication is not intended as a substitute for the advice of health care professionals.

Alcoholics Anonymous and AA are registered trademarks of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Appendix: The 40 Developmental Assets copyright Search Institute, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; fax 612-376-8956. Reprinted with permission.

18 17 16 15 14 1 2 3 4 5 6

Cover design: Theresa Jaeger Gedig

Interior design and typesetting: Terri Kinne

Developmental editor: Sid Farrar

Spanish translations: Franklin Curbelo, Acentos

Production editor: Mindy Keskinen

Contents

WE LATINOS BRING TO THE United States rich and diverse cultural values and practices. But one thing we universally share is that we celebrate and rely on our families: our blood, extended, and chosen families. Family members find strength and support in the roles and expectations passed down through many generations. As individuals, we develop a sense of personal identity and meaning within our families. As we grow older, we find our place within our communities and look forward to contributing to a better world for the coming generations. Throughout our lives, family can provide a safe haven for us as we negotiate the sometimes fast-paced, competitive U.S. culture, with its emphasis on the rugged individuala marked contrast to the value we place on the protecting family. Our sense of well-being within the family serves as a protective blanket as we face language barriers, and different attitudes toward personal issues such as dating and relationships, alcohol and drug use, parenting, and the role of elders. The differences we encounter can cause conflict and confusion and threaten the stability of family life.

For more than thirty years, the professionals at CLUES (Communidades Latinas Unidas En Servicio) have worked with Latinos and their families to provide support and guidance in navigating the psychological, social, and cultural challenges they face in adapting to their new environment. CLUES is a nationally recognized organization based in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota. Our mission is to advance the capacity of Latino families to be healthy, prosperous, and engaged in their communities. We provide services in the areas of health and family well-being, educational achievement, economic vitality, and cultural and civic engagement.

Our approach is holistic. People come to us with a variety of needs and opportunities, but our encounters always convey this question: What are your hopes and dreams for your future? This is a sign of our respect for each individual as a whole person, rather than as a set of problems to be treated. And it is an expression of our Latino values of personalismo, respeto, and hard work to help people find their paths toward their hopes and dreams. It is not surprising that, for most of them, family is in some way a part of who they are and why they have hopes and dreams in the first place. With that as an entry point, we help our clients find many opportunities to improve their well-being.

Our clients inspire us with their love, kindness, resilience, and faith in the future. With this book, we hope to share a few of the lessons theyve taught us during the past thirty years. This book consists of seven chapters, each focused on a topic that we have found relevant to most of our clients at some point in their lives. Attention to these seven areas will help a person and family fulfill some of their hopes and dreams.

: Who Am I? focuses on the challenging topic of personal identity. In the United States, we Latinos face many issues regarding identity. First, we are often labeled as foreign or a minority by the dominant culture. Then, of course, there is the socially constructed ethnic identity of being Latino, even though most of us identify more with a particular neighborhood or region in a country. Furthermore, there are many other social identities that inform who we aresuch as our sex, gender, sexual orientation, specific religious affiliation (or lack of it), social class, and body ability or disability. Most important, we have our core individual identities, nested in our larger sense of family and community. This chapter explores the forces that shape identity and the ways we can harmonize them by deepening our personal understanding of identity.

.) In this chapter, we discuss different types of families, some basic parenting skills, and the critical role of elders in our lives. We consider the ways in which immigration and acculturation change our traditional roles, and the tragedy of violence in the home. The information and skills discussed here can help families find greater happiness through understanding our different needs and roles in supporting each other while we find our own places in the community and the world.

: Emotions in Harmony is an introduction to what emotions are and how they shape our experiences. Many Latinos have experienced intense, unfortunate events during immigration, and others have faced difficult times before and after immigration as well. This chapter helps us understand some of these traumatic experiences, the benefits of visiting a counselor, how emotional events can complicate relationships, and how we can care for our emotions.

: With My Feet on the Ground discusses alcohol, other drugs, and the risk of addiction. In this chapter, we describe how these substances affect the body and brain and what parents can do to help their children avoid risky behaviors that can lead to early substance use. We discuss patterns in Latino families that protect us and those that put us at risk, what alcoholism and drug addiction are, how addictions can be treated, and how family can be part of treatment and recovery.

: Making a Living is about the important role of financial stability in finding mental health. Our financial well-being influences our sense of security and self-esteem, and it is a driving force for many other choices we make. In this chapter, we cover topics important to financial stability in the United States, including getting an education, developing new skills, career planning, and basic financial skills such as budgeting, using credit, and building assets.

: In a Foreign Country is especially written for first-generation immigrants, although the children of these immigrants will also benefit from this chapter. We review some of the traumatic events related to immigration and adjustment, strategies that have helped many Latinos adapt to life as a foreigner in their new home, how discrimination and crime affect us, and some ideas on what it means to be bicultural.