Patricia M. McClure - Losing a Hero to Alzheimers: The Story of Pearl

Losing
a Hero to

Alzheimers

The Story of Pearl

Patricia M. McClure

Copyright 2015 Patricia M. McClure.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-0721-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-0723-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-0722-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015912798

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/31/2015

CONTENTS

I dedicate this book to my mother, the late Ann Shirley McClure (aka Pearl). You were truly a saint sent from the Lord. You helped shape me into the woman I am today. You were an awesome mother, friend, and confidant. You helped to change the world through your smile, your service, and the life that you lived. God allowed you to be my mother. I am forever grateful for every sacrifice you made for our family and me. Your living was not in vain, and your legacy will live on forever.

I cant put a number to the years that I need you here on earth so I carry you with me daily in my heart.

Patricia M. McClure

L osing a Hero to Alzheimers: The Story of Pearl has been in the making for the past ten years. I was waiting for the moment I was strong enough, emotionally and spiritually, to share my journey in caring for my mother with Alzheimers. Losing a Hero to Alzheimers: The Story of Pearl will show the epitome of a strong, spiritual woman who endured so much in her lifetime and positively impacted peoples lives. Pearl was afflicted with the ugly disease of Alzheimers, and her mental condition spiraled downward. As my mothers caregiver, I experienced a high level of stress and encountered many challenges. I will share some of Pearls behavior and how they align with the cognitive declination stages according to the Alzheimers Association.

I strongly acknowledge that it was only by the strength of God that I was able to endure this life-changing experience with a very limited support system. So many families are stricken by this disease on some level. I hope my story will give caregivers practical guidance who encounter this dreadful disease.

I am so appreciative of my family and friends for believing in me. Thank you to my judicious editor, Chiquita R. Griffin. I want to thank my God-brother, Byron Barnes, for believing in me and listening to me whenever I wanted to talk about this book. I am grateful for my children who encouraged me while I wrote this book. Your continued interest and excitement is what kept me motivated. I want to give a special thanks to my husband (Pastor Eric H. Chessier) for standing by my side through thick and through thin. You treated my mother with love and patience, and for that I truly thank you.

A nn Shirley Strayhon (aka Pearl) was born on December 26, 1934, in Chicago, Illinois. Raised in Hyde Park, she was the only girl of four children. Pearl met Jesse McClure while singing in the choir at a Baptist church on the South Side of Chicago. Jesse was from Little Rock, Arkansas. They later married, and to this union four children were bornthree girls and one boy. I, Patricia Madina McClure, was the youngest daughter in the family.

Our family lived on the South Side of Chicago, and Pearl was our rock. She was a very spiritual woman and walked closely with God. By all accounts, Pearl was known for the love and kindness she showed her family, friends, and the community. She was a hands-on parent and active in her neighborhood.

After I, her youngest child, started school, Pearl began her career working at one of the largest skyscrapers in downtown Chicago. She was in a difficult marriage but found happiness in other outlets. She was also the full-time caregiver of one of her oldest brothers, who was handicapped.

Pearl did whatever she could to give her children various opportunities and experiences, which my father, Jesse, resented. He was bitter and selfish because he grew up with limited resources. Pearls marital problems really started to take a toll on her, and she began showing signs of depression. In later years, she started to show early signs of Alzheimers. Eventually, her coworkers started to see changes in her job performance. To avoid taking responsibility, some family members remained in denial that she had Alzheimers. Pearl started to exhibit behaviors that jeopardized her safety and welfare which caused great concerns for me. It was also hard to accept that Pearl had a problem because she had always been so strong and independent.

Through this book I will do my best to illustrate the characters in my family and bring their personalities to life. This story is vey visual, dramatic, and emotionally driven, and you, the reader, will hopefully remain engaged from start to finish. My desire is that the reader will walk away with a practical understanding of the stages of Alzheimers, and how this debilitating illness affects the family system.

M y mother grew up on the South Side of Chicago, in Hyde Park, in the 1930s and 1940s. She was the youngest and the only girl of four children. Pearl was spoiled by her father, who died during her childhood. She was always unsure about his cause of death, and it was never discussed.

Pearl had three brothers: Patrick, Drew, and John, all in the US Army, although each in a different battalion. When they came home on leave, they doted on their little sister and would give her money before returning to military duty. Pearl talked about how her brothers sent her letters and sporadically called to check on her and Maudie (an affectionate nickname for Pearls mom).

Maudie was a little different than most. Whispers among family members questioned if Maudie had a mental condition. Unfortunately, no one did anything to find out. According to Pearl, in those days, people just turned a blind eye and pretended everything was normal.

In her younger years, my mom always talked about her father and described him as a neat and loving man. Pearl also shared how repugnantly Maudie treated her father. She said, Mom wouldnt cook or clean the house even though she was at home all day. Maudie wasnt very affectionate, and she made very reprehensible, offensive comments to Pearl. She resented the fact that Pearl was Daddys little girl.

My mother never really talked about her mom during my childhood. Whenever Mom was asked questions about Maudie, she became evasive and changed the subject. It was apparent from Pearls responses that she had some oppressive memories of her mom.

Still, as I got older, I began to ask more questions about my grandmother, and my mom reluctantly began to open up. I recall one time my mothers eyes welled with tears as she talked about her mothers senility and how her mother abused her. I felt terrible that my questions made her cry. One of my mothers favorite sayings was, You should leave well enough alone, and from that day forward, I did just that. I stopped asking my mom about her mother. Some things remained a mystery to me. For example, I wondered if my grandmother ever worked or had any siblings.