2010 by Lucille ONeal
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
ONeal, Lucille.
Walk like you have somewhere to go : my journey from mental welfare to mental health / Lucille ONeal ; with Allison Samuels.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1-59555-307-2
1. ONeal, LucilleMental health. 2. ONeal, Shaquille. 3. Self-esteem in women. 4. Basketball playersUnited StatesFamily relationships. I. Samuels, Allison. II. Title.
GV884.O54O54 2010
796.323092dc22
[B]
2009048773
10 11 12 13 14 WC 5 4 3 2 1
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This book and memoir is dedicated to myearthly parents, Odessa Chambliss and Sirlester ONeal, and my grandparents Hilton andCillar ONeal, who now watch over me fromabove. In their own special way, they helped merealize that I had something special deep insideof me to be shared with the rest of this world.
I also dedicate this book to my onlybrother, Roy, and my younger sisters, Vivianand Velma, for always being there for methrough thick and thin and in good timesand bad. There are not enough ways for meto show you how much I love you.
And last, I dedicate this memoir to my fourbeautiful children: Shaquille, Lateefah, Ayesha,and Jamalthe truest lights of my life.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto
thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge
him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 kjv
Contents
T heres not a doubt in my mind that at around 8 a.m. on March 6, 1972, I had my first opportunity to gaze into the eyes of an angel. I couldnt have asked for a more perfect image as my first sight after arriving in the world that day. Her name was Lucille, and Ive had the pleasure of calling her Mother for the last thirty-eight years.
What can I say about the woman whos inspired me at every step of my own journey in the NBA and beyond? She gave up so much for me and my brother and sisters so that we could have opportunities and lifestyles none of us could have ever dreamed of. Certainly, years ago, as we moved around from place to place with my father, Phil (who was in the Army), we never imagined all of what we have been able to achieve.
Because my mom was just a teenager when I was born, we supported each other as we both grew and evolved over the years. I remember how hard she worked as a single mother, and then as a wife and caretaker to a houseful of rambunctious (my sisters), stubborn (my brother), and well-behaved (me) kids. LOL!!
We never saw her downshe wouldnt allow itand she balanced our lives, as well as her own, with the precision of a well-skilled neurosurgeon. She certainly kept me away from the lure of drug dealers in our neighborhood and off street corners as a young man so that I could realize my dream of playing professional basketball. Through it all, shes never let me give up on myself, even when things seemed the most hopeless.
Today, after my eighteen years in the NBA, shes still the ultimate inspiration for everything I do. Watching her have the courage to make life-altering decisions, such as returning to school after age forty, and becoming single again after twenty-eight years of marriage, has given me the strength to face my opponents (and anything else) both on and off the court with little hesitation.
I am what I am, and I have what I have, because of Lucille ONeals DNA running through my veins. Trust meall who read this book will benefit from the wisdom Ive been relying on for years. Thank you, Mommy! I love you.
W hile I have your attention is a phrase that comes to mind sometimes when I take a moment to think about the last few years. My life, and for the most part the lives of my entire family, have been in the spotlight since the day my son Shaquille entered the NBA back in 1992. As far back as then, Ive thought off and on about telling my own story. My life has always consisted of much more than just being the mother of a beloved sports icon or the recipient of massive fortune and fame.
Oddly enough, throughout the years Id always convince myself that it wasnt the right time. Even recently Ive questioned whether anyone really wanted to hear what a fifty-six-year-old New Jersey girl had to say. Why would they care? My thinking baffled Shaquille, who would regularly remind me of how inspiring my lifes tale could be for the countless people out there facing the same obstacles and setbacks in their lives that Ive faced in mine. My son even coined the term mental welfare for this book as a way of describing where Id been emotionally at certain points in my life. Shaquille is my oldest child, and there is a six-year age difference between him and his next sibling. So for several years it was just the two of us trying to make it, which gave Shaquillemore than any of my other children a front row seat to some of my darkest hours. Obviously, my son knows a good story when he lives one. Still, I hesitated to share my life in print. In hindsight, I realize that I hesitated because my story really didnt have all the necessary chapters until very recently. I had to come full circle with lifes big eventslike death, divorce, and renewalbefore I could not only explain to people the meaning of my journey, but also how Id come out on the other end and how they could do the same.