Yitta Halberstam - Changing Course: Womens Inspiring Stories of Menopause, Midlife, and Moving Forward

Changing Course

Womens Inspiring
Stories of Menopause,
Midlife, and
Moving Forward

Yitta Halberstam

Adams Media
Avon, Massachusetts

Copyright 2004 by Yitta Halberstam.
All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN: 1-59337-091-1

eISBN: 9-78144-051-894-2

Printed in Canada.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Mandelbaum, Yitta Halberstam
Changing course / Yitta Halberstam.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-59337-091-1
1. Middle aged womenFiction. 2. MenopauseFiction. I. Title.

PS3613.A535C48 2004
813'.6dc22
2004009167

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American
Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

While all of the stories in this book are true, some of the names, dates, and places have been changed to protect anonymity.

Interior photograph of shell 2003 Brand X Pictures

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, call 1-800-872-5627.

Dedication

For my husband, Motty, whose love, devotion, and inspiration
gives me the courage to change course, the patience to stay
on course, and the permission to sail away.

Permissions

Baby Blues by Betty Rollin first appeared in AARP Magazine, July/August 2003 and is reprinted with permission.

Mirror, Mirror by Madeena Spray Nolan with Amy Lynch first appeared on the Ourselves.com Web site and is reprinted with permission.

Word by Word was first published in Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, copyright 1994 by Anne Lamott. Used by permission of Pantheon Books, a division of Random House, Inc.

The Merry Recluse by Caroline Knapp first appeared on the salon.com Web site and is reprinted with permission.

Some Age-Old Advice: Carpe the Midlife Crisis by Mary Schmich was first published under the title Some Age Old Advice: The Midlife Crisis copyright February 17, 1999, Chicago Tribune Company. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

The Old in One Anothers Arms was first published by the NewYork Times Magazine, copyright 1997, Davida Rosenblum. From the New York Times Magazine. Reprinted by permission.

Contents

Letting go of the past

/ Joyce Maynard

/ Carol L. Skolnick

/ Yitta Halberstam

/ Renie Burghardt

/ Betty Rollin

/ Nama Frenkel

/ Joyce Maynard

Signs and symptoms of perimenopause or menopause

/ Andrea Marcusa

/ Shoshana Bat-Zvi

/ Nancy Andres

/ Jennifer Delahunty Britz

/ Barbara Scott

/ Stephanie Marston

/ Nancy Ilk

/ Rhonda Keith

/ Sally Kaplan

Reflections and revelations on aging and self-image

/ Madeena Spray Nolan with Amy Lynch

/ Anne Lamott

/ Sandy Henry

/ Jozette Aaron

/ Davi Walders

/ Jan Andersen

/ Gail Kavanagh

/ Martha Conte

/ Amy Lynch

/ Caroline Knapp

/ Mary Schmich

/ Sarah Shapiro

/ Miriam Weiss

/ Debra Johanyak

/ Harriet Cooper

/ Jerine P. Watson

/ L. A. Jasheway

Explorations, adventures, and altered courses

/ Jan Andersen

/ Terri Sherwood Sutherin

/ Patti Cassidy

/ Yitta Halberstam

/ Joyce Maynard

/ Nancy Harless

/ SuzAnne C. Cole

/ Midge Crockett

/ Mary Terzian

/ Jeri Ledbetter

/ Ruchama King

/ Rebecca Hulem

/ Linda Hepler

/ Dee Adams

/ Barbara Stephens

/ Mary Jacobs

/ Davida Rosenblum

Acknowledgments

a s my Small Miracles series indicates, I dont believe in luck, chance, fate, or happenstance. So instead of saying Im so lucky, Id rather say that Ive been very blessed and fortunate to work with a coterie of bright, professional people who help make the writing and publishing process such a joy and adventure.

Gary M. Krebs, my brilliant and savvy editor, embodies an unusual combination of admirable attributes: Hes exceptionally intelligent, creative, visionary, and organized! (Now thats unusual!) His passion for this book and enthusiasm were contagious and heartening, and its simply great having him at the helm. Kate McBride, managing editor, had a special fondness for this particular project, and her vision and input significantly helped guide and shape its content and direction. Special thanks also to Garys competent and gracious assistant Kirsten Amann for her assistance in many ways. Gene Molter, publicist extraordinaire, is a dynamo and an extraordinary professional to boot, and it has been fun and a joy to work with such a capable and conscientious individual. Richard Pine and Lori Entiman of Arthur Pine Associates are tops in their field, and it is a privilege to work with them. Thank you all!

This anthology was born out of a conversation I had with my good friend, Pessy Dinnerstein. I complained to her that I could not find inspiring and positive books about menopause to help me on my own personal journey, and she advised me to work on one myself. Conversations with Pessy always seem to bear exceptional fruit, and I am so grateful to her for being my friend. Thank you, Pessy.

I also want to thank another close and wonderful friend, Bella Friedman, who has come to my rescue more than once in my writing lifetime. Unlike my editor, Gary Krebs, I am not exactly the organized type, and Bellaa computer marvelhas oftentimes responded to my emergency calls when copy mysteriously vanishes from the computer screen, or when a virus has invaded the machine completely. She has patiently and kindly retyped hundreds of pages that were swallowed up in cyberspace and does preliminary readings of my various books as well. Beyond her technological miracles, Bella is a warm, supportive, and wonderful human being whose friendship I value tremendously. Thank you, Bella!