Tara Allmen - Menopause Confidential: A Doctor Reveals the Secrets to Thriving Through Midlife

MY CHILDREN WOULD LIKE me to dedicate Menopause Confidential to them, which is hilarious because they are barely tweenagers.

So to my smart, funny, and gorgeous Ava and Mark, you were so noisy this past year, you made it practically impossible to write this book. I love you anyway.

I would also like to give a shout-out to my smart, funny, and gorgeous husband, Larry, whom Ive had to shout at all year long to help me care for our noisy children. I love you too.

And then there is Sadie, my best dog and favorite furry four-legged daughter, who supported me through many lonely and arduous months by giving me lots of slobbery kisses and loud woofs. I love you the most.

To my smart, funny, and gorgeous parents, Rick and Rene, and my sweet brother, Mark, I wish you were all still here to celebrate with me.

And finally, to all of the women I have had the great honor and privilege of caring for and the many midlife women reading Menopause Confidential...

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I wouldnt be here without all of you.

CONTENTS

A study says owning a dog makes you ten years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I dont want to go through menopause again.

JOAN RIVERS

WAS THAT... ?

No.

It couldnt be.

Im too young.

But it sure felt like...

That is how I felt when I experienced my first hot flash at the age of forty-five. For so many of us, bewilderment is followed by denial and then... more denial! No woman wants to admit that she is skirting the edges of midlife or maybe is even right in the thick of it.

At some point in our forties, most of us will begin to notice the inevitable signs of aging as our bodies change in ways for which we are not prepared. While we are pretty good at educating young girls ahead of time about the journey through puberty, and even better at teaching women what to expect when expecting, we get a failing grade when it comes to addressing the changes that occur during perimenopause and menopause. For this reason, many women show up to the conversation basically clueless and without scientifically accurate information. Its no wonder that hitting the perimenopausal and menopausal years throws us for a loop.

You probably did not realize that there is a lot you can easily do to renew your energy, sexual vitality, and good looks. It doesnt have to be all sweaty, sleepless nights; dispiriting weight gain; irritable moods; and a diminished sex life. So dont throw up your hands and accept that you will never feel like yourself again. I am here to be your midlife cheerleader. You are definitely going to get through these difficult times with your health and happiness reinstated.

IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU

Let me introduce myself. I am a board-certified gynecologist in New York City and a NAMS Certified Menopause Practitioner (NCMP) who specializes in midlife womens health. I see patients ranging from those in the first blush of hot flashes to those deep in the throes of mood swings and brain fog. Most of them feel as though theyre having an out-of-body experience. And I get it. Having celebrated my fifty-first birthday recently, it is not just professional for meits personal. I know exactly how you feel.

Once we hit menopause, we will be menopausal until the end of our days. Some people refer to the entire period as postmenopause. This may be a new concept for you, and I know it sounds daunting. But it wont actually be daunting if you know how to deal with the symptoms and protect your health. That last part is especially important. Menopause marks the beginning of a long journey that puts us at higher risk for heart disease, osteoporosis, diabetes, cancer, and other health challenges. So lets not squander valuable time. Instead, join me and learn all about the healthy and productive life that is waiting for you.

HEALTH IS ON THE WAY!

Are you wondering if you will ever feel like your normal self again? My answer is definitely Yes! I know there are many books and websites you can read to learn about how to deal with all of your symptoms. I checked most of them out and found the majority to be confusing and not grounded in science. Astonishingly, a lot of information out there is not even provided by an expert in womens health. If I want to learn how to build an airplane or change a carburetor, I most certainly want to learn from the best in that field. Dont you agree? There are, by the way, some excellent and accurate resources that are written by experts, and I will reference them at the end of this book.

Most of you will not be able to schlep all the way to New York City to become my patients, but reading Menopause Confidential will be like having a fun and informative conversation with me. I am going to address all of your fears and concerns with easy to understand information that is based on scientific evidence. You dont have time to slog through a complicated and lengthy medical treatise. So I am offering you the busy womans guide to midlife womens health. The following is everything you need to know. And I promise to clear up all the confusing information about perimenopause and menopause.

Menopause Confidential, though, is far more than just a compendium of advice for dealing with hot flashes and midlife muffin top. It is a head-to-toe and everything-in-between guide to living a healthy life. I want you to not only start feeling and looking better right now, but also make great choices for your health in the future. How often do you need to get a Pap? What about mammograms and colonoscopies? How can you guard against heart disease, the number one killer of women in the United States? What is the secret to losing weight in midlife? Theres a lot of confusion out there, and even the stuff that is on-target can be overwhelming.

So lets get this show on the road and have some fun learning and getting smarter by the minute.

MY STORY

Many women do not like to reveal their age. I am not one of those women. When I turned fifty years young, I shouted it from the rooftops. I was born December 18, 1964, on the small island of Manhattan and raised on a crazy block in the East Village called St. Marks Place. My parents, Rick and Rene, bought apartment buildings in this area in the 1960s and 1970s, a time when the neighborhood was gritty, dangerous, and filled with people doing drugs and living on the streets. As a kid, it was my job to sweep up the hallways and front stoops of my parents buildings, so I got to see firsthand the harsh effects of taking drugs. I like to say that kids often rebel against the environment they are raised in, and I was no exception. I rebelled against the bad choices taking place all around my neighborhood. Instead of doing drugs, I stayed in my room and did my homework. I loved school, and I loved getting good grades. I went to a small Jewish elementary school just three blocks away from our apartment building in the East Village. My brother, Mark, and I had to walk through the notorious Tompkins Square Park, teeming with addicts and homeless people, in order to get there.

Mark had kidney disease, and many of my childhood hours were spent visiting him in the hospital. I can still remember the exciting wheelchair races we had in the hospital hallways. Seeing medicine at work up close and personal at such an early age really influenced my career choice. There was no doubt in my mind that I would one day become a doctor. I had already decided by the time I was six years old. My brother grew up to be a lawyer. My mother, the landlord, used to joke that she wished one of us had chosen to become a plumber, because plumbers were so expensive. One could make the argument that I did indeed grow up to become a plumber of sorts... for women!