Jean Blackmer - Momsense: A Common-Sense Guide to Confident Mothering

God doesnt make mistakes. He has divinely paired you to be the mother of your child. You can best invest in your child by developing your own personal MomSenseand this book shows you how.

Elisa Morgan, speaker/author, She Did What She
Could; publisher, FullFill, www.fullfill.org; president
emerita, MOPS International, www.mops.org

Jean Blackmer offers moms a rare treat: a book that encourages women to trust their instincts and to think critically (to be skeptics, even!). Through fun-to-read, power-packing stories mixed with solid advice, Jean at once affirms, empowers, and equips moms to be the kind of moms God created them to be.

Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira, author, Mamas Got a
Fake I.D.: How to Reveal the Real You Behind All That Mom

Ever felt like somehow you missed mommy orientation class? Does it seem that all of the women in your play group got the secret kid manual and you were not on the distribution list? Take heart! In this amazing little book, you will discover all the gifts you already possess to be a great parent. After a dose of MomSense you cant help but be encouraged to be the kind of mom God designed you to be.

Kathi Lipp, author, The Husband Project

You dont have to be perfect to be the perfect mom for your child. But you need an endless supply of MomSense. Here it is!

Carol Kuykendall, author, speaker,
MOPS consulting editor

MomSense is a must-read for any mom who has ever wondered if she has what it takes to thrive during motherhood. As a mother of three preschoolers Jean reminded me, with wisdom gleaned from her own journey, that I can do this! She encouraged me, inspired me, and provided me with the resources to take action. Any mom who wants her parenting to make a difference should grab a copy.

Tracey Bianchi, pastor for women, Christ Church
of Oak Brook; author, Green Mama: The Guilt-Free
Guide to Helping You and Your Kids Save the Planet

Do yourself a favor and bathe in the wisdom of this book youll emerge with more confidence and strength in what every mom has inside: the power to be a great mother.

Lisa T. Bergren, author, Life on Planet
Mom and The Busy Moms Devotional

Reading MomSense is like spending time with a wise, warm friend, full of both challenge and grace.

Shauna Niequist, author, Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet

MomSense

A Common-Sense Guide
to Confident Mothering

Jean Blackmer

2011 by Jean Blackmer

Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com

E-book edition created 2011

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4412-3253-3

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2007.

Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, www.alivecommunications.com.

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.

To every mom:
May you be confident
that God has created you
to be the mom your children need.

Contents

Alright, lets just get this out of the way:

Ive lost a child in Dillards.

Ive pulled a flailing toddler out of the swimming pool, fully clothed.

Ive put a child in time out and remembered him four hours later.

Ive let my son eat cake for breakfast.

Ive locked my kids in the backyard with a box of popsicles. A bunch of times.

Okay? So I live in the real world of motherhood. No intimidating Mom of the Year here. My successes have always cohabited with the failures, and the desire to be well thought of as a mom was quickly trumped by my desire to use motherhood as material. (If your life is a circus, become a writer and make a living off the chaos. Youre welcome.)

So what am I adding to the three zany kids I already have? Thats right. Two more from Ethiopia. The mom who once drove by herself from Austin to Wichita with three kids under fivewho snapped somewhere during hour seven between the crying and pooping and screaming and pulled over on I-35, locked the kids in the car, and sat in the grass twenty feet away staring at her children mouthing MOMMY!!! with their faces pressed to the window while she sobbed for ten minutesis adopting two more kids. On purpose.

Why? you must be asking.

Because basic MomSense overrides my fears and failures and reminds me that motherhood is my greatest adventure to date. Being a great mom doesnt mean being a perfect mom; thats not the deal we enter when we bring that first gangly baby home. Every mom fails, every mom feels overwhelmed, every mom cries, every mom blows it so profoundly she is not sure she can even tell her friendsand would certainly maim or kill to keep the story out of earshot of her mother-in-law.

But the other side of the story includes the moments when your children are piled on your lap as you read to them in funny voices while they snuggle into the crook of your arm. It certainly includes your attempts to keep a straight face when your daughter says the funniest thing that has ever been said, while you pretend to take her seriously and then rush to call your mom. It is that spot on the back of your sons neck after a bath that dares you not to kiss the tarnation out of it. Its the tender moments when you wipe tears and kiss dirty faces and hold little hands and brush out hair. It is a love so encompassing and overwhelming you feel like you could perish under the weight of it.

Its our MomSense, the same instincts that wrap our children in security and affirm their worth in this big world. I have it. You have it. It is the language of motherhood. Let us continue to create a community of mamas who hold our failures loosely and embrace laughter, love, and the adventure of parenting with gratitude for the responsibility and grace for the journey. This ride is brief; lets not miss a second of it.

With much love,
Jen Hatmaker, author of Out of the Spin Cycle

Writing a book is a team effort, and I have had the privilege of working with an amazing group of people.

A BIG thanks to:

Brittany Berger, Michelle Holmberg, Nikki Kennedy, Jacque Moore, and Shannon Wange: thanks for your honest input, stories, adviceand most of all, for sharing your lives with me.

Naomi Cramer Overton, Shelly Radic, and Carla Foote: thanks for your wise leadership and faithful encouragement.

Elisa Morgan, Carol Kuykendall, Mary Beth Lagerborg, Karen Parks, and Tom Webb: thanks for initiating the concept of MomSense and helping moms make sense out of mothering.