S. L. Klassen - Menno-Nightcaps: Cocktails Inspired by that Odd Ethno-Religious Group You Keep Mistaking for the Amish, Quakers or Mormons

This book is dedicated to all my friends on Mennonite Twitter and the loyal readers of the Drunken Menno Blog. [We] spent our time daily in playing, drinking, and all manner of frivolous diversions. Menno Simons* *The Complete Works of Menno Simon, vol. 1, trans. John F. Funk (Elkhart, IN: John F.

Funk, 1871), mennosimons.net/completewritings.html. Quote taken grossly out of context. CONTENTSINTRODUCTION I imagine you, dear reader, coming upon this little book and sizing it up from its title and cover. I expect that you will have spied this book on a shelf or website and puzzled at its oddity. You may have asked yourself, What kind of joke is this? To which I answer, It is the best kind of joke, curious readerthe kind that comes with cocktail recipes. I do not know if you came upon the book while looking for information about Mennonites or while looking for a cocktail book.

In either case, you have lucked upon a long-overdue amalgamation of the cocktail book genre with whatever genre of books includes everything you never knew you wanted to know about Mennonites. Here, you will find amusing commentary on Mennonite history, faith practices, and cultural forms, each with thematically appropriate cocktail recipes. While many books about Mennonites portray us as a simple people and many books about cocktails contain complicated recipes, I have reversed this patternhighlighting the Mennonite complexities and offering up relatively simple cocktails. Just because. You may be thinking that you do not care about Mennonites. Or about cocktails.

You might think we are boring, earnest types who wear old-fashioned clothes and sing a lot of hymns. You might think cocktails are fussy and complicated to make. If you are thinking that, then you wouldnt be all wrong but you wouldnt be all right either. It is true that most Mennonites are boring and earnest, but we do not all dress in distinctive garb, and some of us will refrain from hymn singing in public. It is also true that some cocktails require precision and attention to detail. But again, not all.

And so I say to you, thirsty reader, that you do not need a passionate interest in all things Mennonite or mixology to enjoy this book. I will take you on a booze-soaked romp through the oddities of our history and culture. I will not bother you with pages upon pages detailing a comparison of various whiskies flavour profiles. Nor will I bore you with lengthy disputations on theological justifications for one tenet of the faith or another. I will not even provide full and complete explanations of the various church schisms in our past. I do, however, encourage you to visit the companion blog, the Drunken Mennonite at slklassen.com, for all the fascinating details.

Because, after a few drinks, all of these stories will suddenly become absolutely riveting. Well, after quite a few drinks. You might also be thinking that Mennonites do not drink alcoholic beveragesthat we are such a morally upright faith group that we would spurn all things intoxicating. Here, too, you would be partially correct. There are some groups of Mennonites who, like other Christians around the turn of the 20th century, rejected the consumption of distilled beverages for a number of decades. Today, many of us have moved away from that prohibition, and the more conservative groups never accepted that prohibition in the first place.

But there are still some holdouts. The other reason you might imagine that Mennonites would be averse to cocktails is that it is a tenet of the Mennonite faith to keep in one way or another separate from the ways of the world. Not to worry. I have carefully designed the cocktails in this book to eschew worldliness. These are virtuous cocktails. Ah, now I imagine you nodding, and it occurs to me that you may be a different kind of reader.

Perhaps you are a Mennonite yourself. Or have a close connection to Mennonites. In that case, you will have looked at this book with trepidation, wondering just how I have misrepresented your faith/ethnicity to the greater cocktail-book-reading public. You will approach the book with suspicion and prepare yourself to be disappointed in my lack of proper respect for the articles of faith and/or your own personal experience in your subgroup of the faith. Such anxiety is, I am afraid, unavoidable. Although I have worked hard to ensure that no Mennonites were harmed in the making of this book, I expect there will be a few who are dissatisfied.

We have a reputation as a good and earnest people, and even the improper use of star anise in a cocktail may well cause a tsk here or there. You will perhaps be mollified by the knowledge that my own Mennonite community has been surprisingly supportive of this whole endeavour. Or maybe that will just cause you to doubt the integrity of my congregation. It is true that the congregation allowed me full artistic licence on the condition that I provide them with mocktail recipes for their public gatherings. And cocktails for the private ones. As you have probably surmised, my Mennonite community is of the so-called progressive variety.

My people never dressed in a way to set themselves apart from those around them, and we adopted technological advances in much the same manner as our neighbours (though, perhaps, we were just a little bit grumpier about it). If you are of a different variety of Mennonite than me, then you may find yourself under-represented in this collection of thoughts and libations. But I think youll see yourself somewhere. Or, if not, I suggest that you open your mind to an Inter-Mennonite Drinking Experience. You might even find occasion to clink glasses with a cocktail aficionado who is not a Mennonite at all. That is, if your congregation prayerfully discerns it to be okay.

I should warn you that this cocktail book lacks a few of the traditional elements of the Mennonite cookbook genre. Most notably, the book is entirely devoid of biblical quotes, inspirational aphorisms, and/or exhortations to live a better life. There arent even any stories about how hospitality channels Gods grace. Each recipe is accompanied by a short paragraph about the cocktails connection to a Mennonite theme, but none of these paragraphs are even remotely inspirational. As a Mennonite reader/drinker, you may find this book just a tad frivolous. Mennonite Cocktail Basics As a people known to like hard work, Mennonites cannot endorse shortcuts in the making of cocktails. Mennonite Cocktail Basics As a people known to like hard work, Mennonites cannot endorse shortcuts in the making of cocktails.

I expect you to squeeze your lemons and limes yourself and, ideally, use herbs grown in your own garden. Furthermore, as everything you do has ethical consequences, I encourage you to use fair trade and/or local ingredients whenever possible. When that is not possible, allow the guilt to wash over you. Dont worry, the pain doesnt last long. Tools Most Mennonites are raised to embrace frugality. Given this upbringing, it is difficult for me to justify purchasing a number of new tools and specialized glassware simply for making cocktails.