Jane Jarrell - The Frazzled Factor: Relief for Working Moms

The
frazzled
factor
RELIEF FOR
WORKING MOMS

Karol Ladd
& Jane Jarrell

The Frazzled Factor: Relief for Working Moms

2004 by Karol Ladd and Jane Jarrell

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotation in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published by W Publishing Group, a Division of Thomas Nelson, Inc., P.O. Box 141000, Nashville, Tennessee 37214.

W Publishing Group books may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail SpecialMarkets@ThomasNelson.com.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Other Scripture references are from the following sources:

The New American Standard Bible (NASB), copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

The New Century Version (NCV). Copyright 1987, 1988, 1991 by Word Publishing, a Division of Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

The NET Bible (NET). Copyright 2003 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C., www.NETBible.com. All rights reserved.

The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan.

The New King James Version (NKJV), copyright 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

The Amplified Bible (AMP), Old Testament copyright 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified New Testament copyright 1958, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Ladd, Karol.
The frazzled factor: relief for working moms/by Karol Ladd and Jane Jarrell.
p. cm.
ISBN 0-8499-4535-6
1. Working mothersReligious life. 2. Child rearingReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Workand family. I. Jarrell, Jane Cabaniss, 1961- II. Title.
BV4529.18.L32 2004
248.8'431dc22

2004017379

Printed in the United States of America

04 05 06 07 08 PHX 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

To our precious families:

Curt, Grace, and Joy

(Karol's family)

Mark and Sarah

(Jane's family)

Your love, support, and encouragement
are consistent blessings in our lives.

Contents

Introduction: Enjoying the Ride
Encouragement for Frazzled Moms

Chapter 1: The Guilt Factor
Finding Relief in the Midst of the Madness

Chapter 2: The Parent Factor
Positively Parenting on Purpose

Chapter 3: The Relationship Factor
Developing Meaningful Relationships in the Fast Lane

Chapter 4: The Business Factor
Equipping Yourself for Success

Chapter 5: The Fun Factor
Celebrating the Joys of Life

Chapter 6: The Rejuvenation Factor
Taking Time for Personal Refreshment

Chapter 7: The Grace Factor
Walking in God's Abundance

Conclusion: Getting There
Simple Steps in a Positive Direction

To all the working mothers we interviewed: thank you for sharing your trials and triumphs. May you find relief in the pages of this book.

To W Publishing Group and Debbie Wickwire: thank you for catching the vision and for partnering with us to make it happen. Your commitment to excellence will allow us to offer hope and encouragement to working mothers everywhere.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,

and to make you stand in the presence of His glory

blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior,

through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion

and authority, before all time and now and forever.

JUDE 2425 NASB

introduction
Enjoying the Ride
Encouragement for Frazzled Moms

The secret of happiness is not in doing what
one likes but in liking what one has to do.
JAMES M. BARRIE

"Would somebody please stop the merry-go-round and let me get off?"

Do you remember feeling that way at the playground as a kid? The merry-go-round was nice when it was circling slowly, but when the bigger kids came and started spinning the ride faster and faster, all we wanted to do was get off!

Now as adults we feel similarly overwhelmed, only the merrygo-round is bigger. The "working mom merry-go-round" spins at a rapid pace with many life responsibilities: kids who need our love and attention, a dwelling place that demands our care and upkeep, and a job that requires our time and energy. Our hectic pace makes us feel out of control and frazzled. The problem is, we may not be able to stop the merry-go-round and get off like we did when we were kids on the playground.

Even if we were somehow able to slow down our frantic pace, our responsibilities often do not allow us to get off the working mom merry-go-round. So we must learn to adapt to the feel of the spin and put our faces to the breeze. We must learn ways not only to cope and survive as working moms, but to delight in the place God has set us. Our goal as working moms is not to hang on for dear life; rather, it is to ride with strength, wisdom, and discernment as we honor God in our circumstances and press forward in our lives with confidence.

The Frazzled Factor is here to help you have the best ride possible. We cant take away all of your responsibilities, but we can help you find peace in the process. In the chapters that follow, we want to help ease your anxiety, calm your stress, and regain your sense of control. Most important, we want to help you enjoy with pleasure the wonderful journey of being mom.

Factoring Out the Frazzle

In this book, we have chosen to focus on seven areas that are important to working moms. We call them the top seven, because after polling numerous working moms, these were the areas they consistently mentioned. The top seven factors that tug at a working mother's heartstrings are guilt, parenting, relationships, business success, fun, personal refreshment, and spiritual growth. By factoring out the challenges in these areas, we hope to bring less frazzle and more victory to your life.

Frazzle is what happens to us when we feel as though an area of our life is out of control. It may come when we are stuck in rush-hour traffic trying to make it home before our daughter's dance recital. Frazzle may occur when a big project is due at work and you have a sick child at home. The state of being frazzled may occur every morning as you are rushing out the door with your briefcase in one hand, school lunches in the other, and shouting, "Get in the car! We're going to be late!"

Some frazzled moments just can't be avoided. But even though the situation is frazzling, you don't have to be frazzled. As Oprah Winfrey says, "If you want your life to be rewarding, you have to change the way you think." Each chapter of this book will leadyou to a new way of thinking and organizing your life, to help you achieve through God's strength a greater sense of accomplishment rather than frustration.

You and Us

Most likely you consider yourself a working mom if you picked up this book, but under the umbrella of "working mom" comes quite a variety of women and circumstances. Some mothers have stringent hours in corporate settings, while others have flexible hours at home, and still others devote hours to volunteer work. Some go to the office three times a week on a job-share program, while others clock in sporadic hours each week. Some are single, while others are married. From nurses who work night shifts, to flight attendants who travel two days a week, to jewelry reps who host parties several nights a week, we know there are endless possibilities to the types of working moms with whom we are chatting through the pages of this book.