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Tina Tessina PhD - The 10 Smartest Decisions a WOMAN Can Make Before 40

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Book:
The 10 Smartest Decisions a WOMAN Can Make Before 40
Author:
Tina Tessina PhD / Elizabeth Friar Williams
Publisher:
Health Communications, Inc.
Genre:
Books / Home and family
Year:
2010
Rating:
5 / 5
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Do you frequently second-guess yourself at work, at home and in your relationships? Youre not alone. Faced with increasing demands, many women feel overwhelmed. This no-nonsense guide targets the 10 smartest decisions a woman can make before 40. Learn how to make The Top Ten decisions by resolving issues, setting goals, and listening to the Wise Woman Within.

Tina Tessina PhD: author's other books

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Table of Contents Back in the dawning of the womens conscious raising - photo 1

Table of Contents

Back in the dawning of the womens conscious raising movement when I was an under-forty seeker, I was amazed by the discovery that, rather than go to male doctors, educators and experts, I could find out about womens bodies and womens lives directly from other women. Believe me, the idea was revolutionary. Tina Tessina is the nurturing mentor I wish I had at the time. She demonstrates how every woman can find her own best answers. An extremely helpful book.

Isadora Altman
board certified sexologist, licensed relationship counselor
and author, Lets Talk Sex and Sex Information,
May I Help You?

Dr. Tessina and Elizabeth Friar Williams provide a service for women, empowering them to make effective decisions, thereby leveling the playing field with men. A must for the modern womans reference library.

Richard F. X. OConnor
author, How To Market You and Your Book, In Remembrance
of a Special Cat and In Remembrance of a Special Dog

This is a warm and wise book filled with practical advice that applies to women of all ages. Reading it will be one of your best decisions!

Alison Bell
author and contributing writer to Complete Woman,
Womans World and Parenting

This book shows women that they can have it all. Dont let the title fool you, this book is for women of all ages.

The Reverend Dr. Mary Ellen Kilsby
senior pastor, First Congregational Church, Long Beach, CA

A highly practical and useful book for anyone who has struggled with making decisions. The information is clear, direct and empowering.

Michelle E. Barone, MA, MFCC
therapist, parent educator and mother

To Betsy Friar Williams whose wisdom and expertise conceived this book and - photo 2

To Betsy Friar Williams
whose wisdom and expertise conceived
this book and underlie everything in it.
She was a sprite, a gadfly and a
supporter of womens rights when it really
counted. I miss her, and Im honored
to be the means by which her
last project comes to life.

Acknowledgments

No book is ever written without a tremendous amount of help, and I have many people to thank: Laurie Harper, my agent, who brought me in to help Betsy when she became ill, and who fought to find a good home for this book.

Christine Belleris and Allison Janse, my editors at Health Communications, who took a real interest in the book, made excellent suggestions and put up with the delay caused by my computer troubles. Also, Heath Silberfeld, who did a great job on the final edit, and Larissa Hise, who designed a beautiful cover and icons for the chapters.

My secretary, Ruth Campbell, who is a model of patience, painstaking correctness and reliability.

Kathy and Jerry Price, who so graciously loaned me their laptop when mine died on a cruise ship in India. I truly dont know what Id have done without them.

My beloved Richard, who has become long-suffering by now in my writing career. He always supports me, is patient with my strange hours and even stranger anxieties, and he loves me so very obviously that everyone knows it.

The members of ASJA who encourage me and give me all the information I need: Alex, Fran, Carey, Maxine, Charlene and many others.

My friends network who support me, cheer me on, love me to pieces and make me laugh when I really need it: (almost alphabetically) Isadora Alman, Maggie and Eddie Bialack (and their daughter, who is my goddaughter, Amanda), Bonnie Booth (whose seven-year-old, Helia, draws me wonderful pictures), Victoria Bryan and Carrie Williams, Ron Creager, David Groves, Larry Kern, Deni Loubert, Sylvia and Glen McWilliams, Joan and Bill Mueller, Ted and Vera Pordage, and Riley Smith. (Heres a promise to take each of you out to tea at Beverlys Vintage Tea Leaf or lunch at Cindys The Coffee Cup.)

And I can never forget those who gave me my start: My mom and dad, of course; and my first publishers, Al Saunders and Jeremy Tarcher; Jean Marie Stine, who taught me what editors are all about; and again, Riley K. Smith, who has been the best coauthor anyone could have. These people have made the impossible dream easy for me.

Many thanks to all of you. You are all blessings in my life, and I love you.

Introduction

Why Women? What Decisions?

Follow your dream... take one step at a time and dont settle for less, just continue to climb.

AMANDA BRADLEY

We are entering the new millenniumwomen today are more educated, more well paid and more in control of their lives than their mothers and forebearers ever were. Surely these are capable women who know how to make their own decisions. They are single parents, corporate executives or working professionals who are technologically savvy, informed and media aware. Why should they need a book about making decisions?

In years of psychotherapy practice, teaching, leading workshops and lecturing, and watching family and friends, I have seen many people of both genders struggle with decisions. Even the most educated and aware men and women often hesitate when making both long-term and short-term decisions, and many more are very uncomfortable being decisive at all.

Much has been written about the pressures put on men, leading to stress, burnout, heart attacks and other physical and emotional problems. Less is heard about how difficult decision making can be for todays women.

With new technology and conveniences, life is lived at a faster pace than it was for previous generations and it is much more complex than it was for our grandparents, or even our parents.

For example, a generation ago, most women married at a younger age and began the role of stay-at-home mother. Today, cultural expectations and medical advances enable women to have healthy children at a much older age. Therefore, todays women face a myriad of questions: Do I wait to have children and focus on my career? If I do have children, do I choose daycare or do I quit my job to care for them?

More equality exists within marriages today so that decisions concerning child rearing, education and finances require input from both husbands and wives. How much discipline is necessary? How do we protect our children from violence and adult information on television, in movies and on the Internet? Single women without children also face choices most of our grandmothers and mothers didnt face. Do I stay at a comfortable yet boring job that pays my bills or do I take a chance and start my own business?

Many of these decisions would have been incomprehensible thirty years ago, and in every aspect of our lives (home, work, family, friends, entertainment, school) we face the same sort of necessary decisions.

The freedom that we enjoy, compared to women of the past, has also left us with much more decision-making responsibility. The many women who attend my lectures and workshops and those who are clients in my private practice express over and over how stressed they are by the decisions they must make.

More control, and therefore more responsibility, is in womens hands today than ever before, and no matter how competent and well-educated, no matter how successful a woman is, she may not feel secure that she knows the right decisions for herself. Many women hesitate to make a decision because they dont want to make a mistake, and with good reason.

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