Table of Contents
This book is dedicated to all my friends in the D.C. wedding industry who have
made this job so entertaining! You know who you are, and I couldnt have done it
for so many years without you!
Introduction
Sure, your wedding is a big dealperhaps one of the most important days of your life. Youve found your soul mate, and you want to celebrate with 200 of your nearest and dearest friends and family members. Its understandable that youd want this day to be as close to perfect as possible, but a wedding should not make you break out in hives, want to change your name and leave the country, or have a complete meltdown over what type of veil to wear. And most important, keep in mind that weddings are never perfect.
Once you get used to the idea that your wedding will not be absolutely perfect, youll be a much happier bride (and much easier to live and work with). Weddings are complex events involving lots of people and, therefore, can never be absolutely flawless. No matter how carefully you plan, something will go not precisely as you intended. The good news is that if youve planned properly, youll almost never even notice one or two tiny blips. However, if you have forgotten some major elements or made some bad bridal decisions early on, you may have more bad memories of your wedding day than happy ones.
Not to worry, though. Im here to walk you through the planning process and point out the warning signs and potential pitfalls along the way. I tell you who to hire and who to avoid, what tricks not to fall for, and how to work with the people you do hire so you get the best service possible. This is not a girlie bridal book with pretty pictures of bridal bouquets. There are plenty of those on bookstore shelves already. This is a guerrilla wedding planning guide for brides who are serious about doing it rightand staying sane in the process.
Planning a wedding should be fun, or at the very least, shouldnt make you lose your mind. More than knowing what you should do when you plan an event this complex and emotional, you need to know what you shouldnt do. Most brides end up with wedding disaster stories because of things they did incorrectly from the beginning. Before you start bringing home bridal magazines so heavy they could be used as doorstops and making a list of the 101 things you must do before you can say I do, take a deep breath and settle in for some no-holds-barred, insider wedding planning advice straight from the trenches. This is the type of advice your mother would never give you and your girlfriends just dont know. Its the real deal from a wedding planner whos seen it all, knows what works and what doesnt, and is going to let you in on all the secrets.
Sure, you may have friends who have gotten married and are eager to share their newfound expertise, but beware! No bride can be truly objective about her wedding (this goes along the same lines as every mother thinking her baby is beautiful). Although your best friend may assure you that her cousins all-70s cover band did a great job at her wedding, proceed with caution. Getting advice from friends can be a lifesaver, but dont take advice blindly. Remember that recent brides have only slightly more experience than you do.
Your mother may be equally excited to share her wedding knowledge with you, but youll find that weddings have come a long way from the punch-and-cake receptions of the past. What was once a relatively simple task has now become a planning feat of such precision and detail that it would make military generals weep. As a matter of fact, Ive seen plenty of powerful career women reduced to tears when faced with the sheer scope of planning a wedding (or the prospect of choosing table linens). So be gracious about your mothers advice, but keep this book close at hand.
Not that this book intends to take the place of your mothers free-flowing advice or those merciless checklists found in every wedding magazine published. On the contrary. This is simply your first line of defense before delving into the world of wedding planning. This book teaches you what not to do before you rush out and start madly planning and make some serious wedding goofs.
This is the down-and-dirty, behind-the-scenes advice that will help you avoid common wedding planning mistakes and silence that little voice that keeps telling you that you should have eloped. Youll get the lowdown on everything from finding the perfect reception site to how not to morph into Bridezilla. What you wont find are lists of flowers and their special meanings, ways to incorporate Navajo traditions into your ceremony, or how to painstakingly make your own origami favors. To be honest, I think making your own origami favors is a horrible idea, and I have the paper cuts to back it up.
Everything youll find in this book is realistic and road-tested over hundreds of weddings. I let you in on the things wedding planners talk about when we get together and compare notes (and no, we dont talk about the trendiest shades of pink and the latest look in chair covers). What we do talk about is the nitty-gritty of wedding planning and what planning mistakes brides bring to us to fixto put it simply, what works and what doesnt. Youre going to get some tested wedding planner secrets, plus learn what things to worry about and what not to stress over. You might be surprised at the things wedding professionals worry about and the things we know just dont matter as much.
Wedding planning should be as individual as each bride, and there is definitely no one-size-fits-all approach here. Start at the beginning, or jump around as you need to. This book is all about customizing your wedding and your wedding planning so it actually works for you, not for some mythical bride with all the time in the world and an endless budget. I give you permission to secretly hate those brides.
So sit back and get ready for a whole new kind of wedding advice told just like your best friend would tell you (if shed planned a few hundred weddings and lived to tell the tale). Finally, the book that every wedding planner secretly wishes her clients would read and every bride will be thankful she did!
Acknowledgments
Thanks to my agent, Peter Rubie, who always finds great opportunities for me, and my acquisitions editor, Paul Dinas, who made the process so much easier. A big thanks to Megan Douglass, Christy Wagner, and Emily Bell for their editing and input. I have to thank my friends in the wedding industry for their help and expertise in writing this book: Juan Carlos Briceno (who also happens to be my husband and a fabulously talented photographer), Jenny Lehman, Ric Marino, Anne Dutton, Michelle Alberg, Nick Perez, Monte Durham, Christine Cadima, and Sarah Gallo. Thanks to James and Liz for sharing their favorite travel spots. Special thanks to my wonderful husband for his constant support while I juggled writing, book tours, and planning weddings. Finally, thanks to the many brides who have let me be a part of their beautiful weddings.
First Things First: How to Plan a Wedding Without Wanting to Elope
Congratulations! Youve probably just gotten engaged and are still on the emotional high that caused you to call every girlfriend the moment after your darling fianc slipped the ring on your finger. You may have already started a collection of bridal magazines so thick they rival the phone book and begun brainstorming with your mother or best friend about the absolute perfect shade of burgundy for the bridesmaids dresses.
