Terry Matlen - Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD: Beyond Piles, Palms, & Post-its

My deepest thanks go to the hundreds of AD/HD women who participated in this project. This book would not have been possible without their generous gifts of time and effort.

In fact, Survival Tips would never have seen the light of day had it not been for the many friends, family, and colleagues who supported me through the ups and downs of seeing this project come to life. To that end, I would like to first thank my editor, Jeanne Ballew, who early on recognized my strengths and weaknesses and supported them both. Her astute eye and gentle coaching kept me going, always keeping me on track.

Special thanks go to Dr. Harvey Parker of Specialty Press for believing in me and this project enough to give voice to my ideas and reality to my dreams through the vehicle of this book.

Thanks to Tara McGillicuddy for helping me solicit and organize tips from the many AD/HD women online. Without her help, I would have floundered in a sea of emails.

To Dan Connaghan, my masterful web wizard, I thank him for recreating a bigger and better ADDConsults.com. His incredible skills, reliability, and generosity of time have been so appreciated.

I would like to thank my colleagues, many of whom have also become friends, for their support, feedback, and personal involvement in this book: Kate Kelly, R.N., M.S.N., Dr. Ned Hallowell, Thom Hartmann, Dr. Patricia Quinn, Dr.Russell Barkley, Dr. Lynn Weiss, Dr. Peter Jaksa, Dr. Michele Novotni, Nancy Ratey, Ed.M., MCC, David Giwerc, MCC, ICF, Dr. Arthur Robin, Dr. John Bailey, Mary Jane Johnson, PCC, ACT, Linda Anderson, M.A., MCC, and Kerch McConlogue, CPCC.

Thanks to Dr. Robert Underhill for his wisdom and kindness. And yes, I will continue to paint!

Thanks to Sari Solden, M.S., LMFT, pioneer and mentor, for her guidance and encouragement. She has truly been an inspiration to me, both professionally and personally. Without her contributions to the field of women and AD/HD, I, along with countless others, would never have been able to find the missing piece that explains my quirks, foibles, and challenges. I know I speak for many when I thank her from the bottom of my heart.

Many thanks to my friends Eleanor Payson, M.S.W. and Dr. Sally Palaian whose own literary dreams helped to spur mine.

To my friends Deborah Lancaster, Becky Booth, Sue Barringer, Corine Schramke, Suzanne Howe, Linda OBrien, and Shannon TaylorI thank them for always being there for me, online or in person.

Special thanks to Linda Halperin, MA, Ed.S., who pulled me into the ADDA world headfirst and who has been a constant source of strength.

To Jeri Goldstein, MC, APRN, who burns the midnight oil with me while discussing the meaning of life, art, and psychology.

Id also like to thank my dear friend and colleague, Wilma Fellman, M.Ed., LPC, whose daily dash of humor, optimism, and eternal wisdom have helped me stay steady, not only in this book project, but in life in general. I have learned a lot by observing her positive spirit.

To Lila Kadaj, my dearest sister-friend who shares this journey with me. She has always been an inspiration to me, co-exploring the many avenues of creative and intellectual enlightenment. She will be my soul sister through life!

I would like to remember and honor my beloved grandmother, Mollie Zolkower, who taught me to love the human spirit and who delighted in being with people by finding the best in them. I will always miss you.

To my step-dad Norman Wachler, who is my real dad in spirit, for he has always been there for me in his quiet, loving way.

There arent words to express what the love and strength of a mother can do for a timid, fearful child who then grows up to be a confident woman with children of her own. Special thanks to my mother, Helen Wachler, for believing in me, cheering me on through thick and thin, and always being there for me even during those early years of turbulence. She has been my confidante, my inspiration...and my fashion advisor. She has taught me more than shell ever know, and though I may have inherited her entrepreneurial and creative ways, I missed out somehow on the cooking and dancing genes. I will always be grateful for her support of my endless projects ...and for never asking me to bring a dish that requires more than two ingredients! Thanks to her, too, for killing all of those spiders in my bedroom and for checking under the bed for that scary madman in hiding, waiting to grab my ankles.

I would like to thank my daughters, Kate and Mackenzie, for putting up with Cousin It who has replaced their mom this past year since they mainly saw the back of my head while working on this book.

To Kate, I love her more than words can say. Her kindness, intelligence, talents, and beauty have awed and inspired me. I am so utterly proud of her.

To Mackenzie, whose challenges led me to learn about my own, I love her for her upbeat spirit, good humor, and caring ways. I am so proud to be her mom!

They say that a healthy marriage can only occur when the effort is 50/50, but in my case, my dearest husband, Jerry, has given way more than his share this past year as I worked on this book. Thanks to him for his never failing love, support, and belief in me and for keeping me laughing even after 25 years together. How I appreciate him for never complaining about mystery dinners or late night runs for carry-out! But most of all, I thank him for working so hard to keep our love alive.

Many thanks to you all!
Terry Matlen
September, 2004

Appendix

Month-of-Meals (MOM) System

How to Keep a Kitchen Clean

Prioritizing Chart

Affirmation List

Record Your Own Tips

MOM System (Month of Meals) (#=Day of Month)

How to Keep a Kitchen Clean

by Deborah Lancaster, Sunnyvale, CA

When a kitchen is clean, its easy to keep it clean. Once it gets dirty, your work is multiplied in order to get it clean. Here are some easy things to do to maintain a clean kitchen:

• Rinse out the sink after you use it. Wash your hands and be sure all the suds go down the drain. Rinse off a dish and be sure the food goes down the drain. Then run the disposal, and its all taken care of. This takes 10 seconds, and you have a clean sink!
• Wipe off the counter and cutting board after you use them.
• Make a sandwich, do the dishes, chop an onion, and then wipe the counter; it takes about 10 seconds.
• Use kitchen wipes (Clorox, Costco brand) or damp paper towels, then toss.
• Wipe around the stove after you cook.
• Spills, boil overs, bubbling liquidsall of these will deposit food on the stove top. Clean it while its still warm, and it only takes 10 seconds; wait until its cold, and it takes longer and looks messy in the meantime. Use the kitchen wipes or paper towels, then toss.
• Clean the floor if you spill something.
• Put the hand towel by the sink so you dont have to drip water across the floor on your way to get it; this water is what makes dirt stick to the floor. If you move a pan from the stove to the dishwasher ( not the sink!) and it drips, wipe the floor. If you spill your drink on the way out ofthe kitchen, go back and clean it up. It only takes 5 seconds and prevents the floor from getting even more dirty as things stick to that liquid for the next several days or weeks.