Teresa Unnerstall - A New Course: A Mothers Journey Navigating Down Syndrome and Autism

PRAISE

Just like What to Expect When Youre Expecting and What to Expect the First Year have become the bibles for new parents, Teresa Unnerstalls A New Course is bound to become the bible for parents who find themselves raising a child with Down Syndrome and Autism. Part autobiography, part how-to-manual, this amazing book offers the stark and often heart-breaking reality of raising a child with intellectual and developmental disabilities. With refreshing authenticity and candor, Teresa Unnerstall provides parents a glimpse into what lies ahead and how to navigate the course with strength, humor, self-love, and gratitude. This should be offered by hospital counselors as required reading for all parents who find themselves dealing with the unexpected birth of a child with disabilities.

Lisa McCubbin,
Mother, #1 New York Times Best Selling Author

Teresa Unnerstall doesnt tip her toes into the water of Down syndrome and autism, she dives head-first into the deep-end. Told with wit, compassion, faith, empathy, brutal honesty, and gentle advocacy, A NEW COURSE: A Mothers Journey Navigating Downs Syndrome and Autism, is a beacon of light for a parent traversing the rocky waters of a dual-diagnosis child. From birth through high school and beyond, Teresa has charted a strong, no-nonsense narrative teeming with set-backs but also love, lessons and hope, plus plenty of take-aways covering fears and anxieties, early intervention, sensory diets, IEPs, speech-language concerns, puberty, behavior management, and so much more. Teresa is an absolute gift to her son, Nick, but you will find her a nurturing and compassionate friend as you navigate the ebb and flow of raising a childand young adultwith special needs.

Leslie A. Lindsay, R.N., B.S.N.
Award-winning author of SPEAKING OF APRAXIA

Copyright 2020 Teresa Unnerstall. All rights reserved.

The intent of the author is to share her experiences in parenting a child with special needs and to help other families on their parenting journey. The story was written with the authors best recollection. In some cases the names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy. The opinions and advice dispensed in this book are solely those of the author and should not be taken as legal or medical advice, nor treatment, without the advice of a physician either directly or indirectly. The author assumes no liability for damage claimed to be caused directly or indirectly by this book.

For feedback, inquiries related to the book, or consulting, speaking, and workshop inquiries visit https://teresaunnerstall.com/

A New Course is published by Kat Biggie Press
Columbia, SC
www.katbiggiepress.com

ISBN:978-1-948604512
Library of Congress Control Number: 2019953637

Edited by Jodi Brandon
Cover Design: Fresh Design

DEDICATION

To my husband, Al, and my son Hank, who navigated this journey raising Nick with me. Your strength, love, and laughter have been ballasts that kept us moving forward as a family. To my son Nick, who has touched more lives than well probably will ever knowespecially ours.

I dedicate this book to all the families facing the challenges of raising a child with intellectual and developmental disabilities. May you find strength, courage, and hope in this story.

I started writing this story in an eighty-nine-cent notebook left over from my college days. Id pull it out from under the bed on restless nights when worrisome thoughts robbed me of sleep. My desire to take these journal entries and write a memoir was prompted by a particularly rough evening, when I felt very much alone. I had yet to meet any families that were dealing with the struggles that we were having with our son. I knew it was time for me to share these difficulties, so I began to take writing classes. Eventually, I found a small support group of families that had a similar diagnosis to my sons. We would share stories that would shock most people. With each encounter we would nod our heads as if to say, Yes, thats my story too. In that moment I committed to telling my storyto give other families hope and encouragement.

I grew up near Galveston Bay in Texas racing sailboats with my family. Whether the bay is choppy or smooth, the crew must find a way to work together to trim the sails, check the compass, and keep a keen eye not only on the wind and waves but the competition. Other sailing opponents are your rivals, battling and swearing at each other to get to each mark first and ultimately to beat them to the finish line. The breezes can be calm and easy, but they can also change and become gusty and volatile on any given day. The crew must be prepared and stay alert at all times, and the skipper must keep a steady hand on the helm and be ready to make quick decisions at any moment.

My experience growing up in the sailing world taught me a lot about the lessons of life: Keep your patience when the wind dies down and your vessel sits idling. When the wind blows hard, the crew must head to the windward side of the boat and lean out, using their strength to prevent unnecessary heeling and capsizing. Be prepared and get the tools you need. Seasoned sailors know to have the right gear and tools; gloves and winches to properly trim the sails. Such lessons as these inspired me to weave a sailing theme throughout this story.

The end of each chapter includes a self-help section provided with my reflections. This section, labeled 3:2:1, provides the reader with three lessons learned, two takeaways to use in the future, and one question or concern. In addition, the book includes an appendix that provides additional lessons learned at the helm (organized by topic).

There is no right or wrong way to navigate the journey of parenting a child with intellectual and developmental disabilities. This is the story of how I did it for my son.

Red skies at morning, sailors take warning.

I n one final breath and with that last push all that I had prayed for came to light. A new life was entering the world. My vision of a whole family was complete. It felt just right, like a perfect day at sea from my childhood racing sailboats with my family on the Texas Gulf Coast. There is nothing like feeling the boat glide smoothly and hum through the water. When the wind is steady, and the sails are trimmed to perfection, the boat moves effortlessly. It soars with ease, cutting through the waves. With that last exhale, I thought about how things would be different with a second baby. I had no idea of the magnitude of that change.

Sunday, February 6, 1994, was my husband, Als, birthday, and I thought I might give birth the same day. Wed gone out for a Tex-Mex birthday dinner, and throughout the night I paced the floor, swearing under my breath. My uterus seized up with painful contractions and awful, wrenching back labor.

The following morning, we headed to the hospital. I had no worries about delivering a second time. Nineteen months earlier, I had given birth to my son, Hank. The scene was the same except we werent watching a long-haired Andre Agassi playing in Wimbledon. I felt healthy and prepared. With both pregnancies, I taught all my YMCA fitness classes right up until my due dates. The only minor complication had happened three days before: During a routine ultrasound, the babys heart rate was low. They did a stress test and determined that everything was okay. I was relieved and glad for no early induction of labor. I opted out of all the prenatal tests, fully expecting to deliver my second child as smoothly as I had Hank.