Lisa Barrickman - A Case for Kindness: 44 Ways to Love and Inspire Others

Copyright 2017 by Lisa Barrickman

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To my grandparents
Antonietta and Gaetano DiLemme
(affectionately known as Noni and Papa)
who modeled kindness as a way of life

I expect to pass through life but once.
If therefore, there be any kindness
I can show, or any good thing I can do
to any fellow being, let me do it now,
and not defer or neglect it,
as I shall not pass this way again.

William Penn

I STOOD IN FRONT of the milestone birthday cards and wondered if I should just buy them in bulk. One at a time, month after month, friends were celebrating their big 4-0 birthdays.

With each celebration, and every fortieth birthday Facebook post, I started to feel the impending arrival of my day, my turn to welcome number forty. Was it really a big deal? After some deliberation, I decided on yes. Yes, it was a big deal.

In my experience, turning forty felt liberating. Up to that point, I had been creating the framework for adulthood. I was always planning for the next thing: school, career, marriage, house, kids. Each step brought me closer to answering the classic question, What are you going to be when you grow up? Well, now I was up. All of the pieces were in place and ready to enjoy. There would certainly be bumps, changes, and unexpected turns along the way, but I had acquired some wisdom in forty years to handle it. Another reason to throw confetti.

It became clear that my fortieth birthday was worth celebrating, but I wasnt quite sure how to do it. A family vacation? A just-me-and-my-husband getaway? A girls weekend? A party?

Nothing was jumping out at me.

As I prayed about this rite of passage, a flood of gratitude overpowered any prospective birthday wish. I glanced back at forty imperfect yet beautifully blessed years, and I was thankful for all of it. Thankful for life.

I wanted my celebration to reflect this spirit of gratitude.

My initial intention was a family mission trip for Spring Break. I looked into options around the country, but my youngest child was only six years old at the time and I couldnt find a good fit.

After some thought, I had an aha moment one morning in the shower (my own personal think box). Somewhere between lather and rinse, I decided to do an act of kindness every day for forty days leading up to my birthday. We didnt need to travel to a far off place to help others, we could scatter love right in the midst our daily routines. That decision began an incredible journey: Forty Days of Kindness.

Before beginning my Forty Days of Kindness project, I had some cards made that shared the words of William Penn:

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.

The back of the cards simply said, Kindness is contagious... pass it on. A stack of these kindness cards, a daily journal, a list of realistic ideas, and an open heart to receive Gods guidance each day was all it took to begin spreading kindness!

The number forty, mentioned one hundred forty-six times in the Bible, is believed to be the amount of time necessary to complete a work (think forty weeks of pregnancy). Something remarkable happened to me and my family in forty days. While any act of kindness is a blessing, practicing kindness for forty consecutive days created a habit of seeking ways to help others. I began to see my days purpose and the people around me differently. I slowed down, looked more closely, and thought more intently about how to make a difference in someone elses life every day. I was continually reminded that we are all connectedwere all in this together. Every child of God has the capacity, in ordinary moments, to change a heart in an extraordinary way.

To my surprise, the best part of the journey has been the ripple effect it brought with it. My kids began asking, as soon as they got home from school, about my act of kindness for the day. Bursting with great ideas for spreading kindness, they were excited to share their own acts of kindness and the moments theyd witnessed others acting out of love. We could not stop after forty days. We had been transformed.

My familys kindness journey was something we had kept very quiet; we hadnt even shared it with our closest friends and family members. We didnt want any part of it to be about recognition. But as time passed and the impact stuck with us, I couldnt shake the thought that the experience was too good not to share. We had discovered a simple treasure, capable of creating happiness, focus, and connection. So we shared it with our pastors, Pastor Krewson and Pastor Cindy. They were instantly enthusiastic, and our church implemented the plan. As I beheld the infectious nature of kindness flourish within a community, I was sincerely thankful for having shared my story.

Forty Days of Kindness culminated on our churchs Rally Sunday, which kicks off the new Sunday school year. Over one hundred people participated, translating to four thousand acts of kindness!

Implementing the project was a breezeit was a great first act of kindness for a small team of people who took the lead. We advertised for a few weeks in advance, sharing the essence of the program and the dates. We created a bulletin board featuring inspirational quotes about kindness and a sign up sheet. We included a resource table next to the bulletin board where participants could take a stack of ten kindness cards and a list of ideas for acts of kindness. And we offered opportunities to share the experience with others. During the forty days, our pastors would occasionally share the stories they were receiving from participants, stories of Christs love on the move through our simple acts of love.