Mark Twain - The Innocents Abroad: Or The New Pilgrims Progress

This book is a record of a pleasure trip. If it were a record of asolemn scientific expedition, it would have about it that gravity, thatprofundity, and that impressive incomprehensibility which are so properto works of that kind, and withal so attractive. Yet notwithstanding itis only a record of a pic-nic, it has a purpose, which is to suggest tothe reader how he would be likely to see Europe and the East if he lookedat them with his own eyes instead of the eyes of those who traveled inthose countries before him. I make small pretense of showing anyone howhe ought to look at objects of interest beyond the seaother books dothat, and therefore, even if I were competent to do it, there is no need.

I offer no apologies for any departures from the usual style oftravel-writing that may be charged against mefor I think I have seen withimpartial eyes, and I am sure I have written at least honestly, whetherwisely or not.

In this volume I have used portions of letters which I wrote for theDaily Alta California, of San Francisco, the proprietors of that journalhaving waived their rights and given me the necessary permission. I havealso inserted portions of several letters written for the New YorkTribune and the New York Herald.

THE AUTHOR.SAN FRANCISCO.

For months the great pleasure excursion to Europe and the Holy Land waschatted about in the newspapers everywhere in America and discussed atcountless firesides. It was a novelty in the way of excursionsits likehad not been thought of before, and it compelled that interest whichattractive novelties always command. It was to be a picnic on a giganticscale. The participants in it, instead of freighting an ungainly steamferryboat with youth and beauty and pies and doughnuts, and paddling upsome obscure creek to disembark upon a grassy lawn and wear themselvesout with a long summer day's laborious frolicking under the impressionthat it was fun, were to sail away in a great steamship with flags flyingand cannon pealing, and take a royal holiday beyond the broad ocean inmany a strange clime and in many a land renowned in history! They were tosail for months over the breezy Atlantic and the sunny Mediterranean;they were to scamper about the decks by day, filling the ship with shoutsand laughteror read novels and poetry in the shade of the smokestacks,or watch for the jelly-fish and the nautilus over the side, and theshark, the whale, and other strange monsters of the deep; and at nightthey were to dance in the open air, on the upper deck, in the midst of aballroom that stretched from horizon to horizon, and was domed by thebending heavens and lighted by no meaner lamps than the stars and themagnificent moondance, and promenade, and smoke, and sing, and makelove, and search the skies for constellations that never associate withthe "Big Dipper" they were so tired of; and they were to see the ships oftwenty naviesthe customs and costumes of twenty curious peoplesthegreat cities of half a worldthey were to hob-nob with nobility and holdfriendly converse with kings and princes, grand moguls, and the anointedlords of mighty empires! It was a brave conception; it was the offspringof a most ingenious brain. It was well advertised, but it hardly neededit: the bold originality, the extraordinary character, the seductivenature, and the vastness of the enterprise provoked comment everywhereand advertised it in every household in the land. Who could read theprogram of the excursion without longing to make one of the party? I willinsert it here. It is almost as good as a map. As a text for this book,nothing could be better:

EXCURSION TO THE HOLY LAND, EGYPT,
THE CRIMEA, GREECE, AND INTERMEDIATE POINTS OF INTEREST.
BROOKLYN, February 1st, 1867

The undersigned will make an excursion as above during the coming season, and begs to submit to you the following programme:

A first-class steamer, to be under his own command, and capable of accommodating at least one hundred and fifty cabin passengers, will be selected, in which will be taken a select company, numbering not more than three-fourths of the ship's capacity. There is good reason to believe that this company can be easily made up in this immediate vicinity, of mutual friends and acquaintances.

The steamer will be provided with every necessary comfort, including library and musical instruments.

An experienced physician will be on board.

Leaving New York about June 1st, a middle and pleasant route will be taken across the Atlantic, and passing through the group of Azores, St. Michael will be reached in about ten days. A day or two will be spent here, enjoying the fruit and wild scenery of these islands, and the voyage continued, and Gibraltar reached in three or four days.

A day or two will be spent here in looking over the wonderful subterraneous fortifications, permission to visit these galleries being readily obtained.

From Gibraltar, running along the coasts of Spain and France, Marseilles will be reached in three days. Here ample time will be given not only to look over the city, which was founded six hundred years before the Christian era, and its artificial port, the finest of the kind in the Mediterranean, but to visit Paris during the Great Exhibition; and the beautiful city of Lyons, lying intermediate, from the heights of which, on a clear day, Mont Blanc and the Alps can be distinctly seen. Passengers who may wish to extend the time at Paris can do so, and, passing down through Switzerland, rejoin the steamer at Genoa.

From Marseilles to Genoa is a run of one night. The excursionists will have an opportunity to look over this, the "magnificent city of palaces," and visit the birthplace of Columbus, twelve miles off, over a beautiful road built by Napoleon I. From this point, excursions may be made to Milan, Lakes Como and Maggiore, or to Milan, Verona (famous for its extraordinary fortifications), Padua, and Venice. Or, if passengers desire to visit Parma (famous for Correggio's frescoes) and Bologna, they can by rail go on to Florence, and rejoin the steamer at Leghorn, thus spending about three weeks amid the cities most famous for art in Italy.

From Genoa the run to Leghorn will be made along the coast in one night, and time appropriated to this point in which to visit Florence, its palaces and galleries; Pisa, its cathedral and "Leaning Tower," and Lucca and its baths, and Roman amphitheater; Florence, the most remote, being distant by rail about sixty miles.

From Leghorn to Naples (calling at Civita Vecchia to land any who may prefer to go to Rome from that point), the distance will be made in about thirty-six hours; the route will lay along the coast of Italy, close by Caprera, Elba, and Corsica. Arrangements have been made to take on board at Leghorn a pilot for Caprera, and, if practicable, a call will be made there to visit the home of Garibaldi.