Louann Brizendine - The Upgrade: How the Female Brain Remakes Itself--For the Better--In the Second Half of Life

I thought I would never write another book again. But as I entered the second half of life myself and started to feel the invisibility reserved uniquely for women of a certain age, something inside me rebelled. I could feel a new power, a new clarity, a laser-like sense of purpose emerging in this phase, and I knew it was time to explore the new science that supported what I was feeling. This was not a slow decline toward the end: I was staring down the most vital, confident, and wise phase of my life. There was a name for the second half of life and we werent yet using it. I call it the Upgrade. Formerly known as menopause, the Upgrade is the phase of life we emerge into when we exit the hormonal war zone finally able to see and be present to who we are, what we want, and how we want to live. Its a glorious time full of freedom and discovery.

As I put the finishing touches on the manuscript, the first female vice president took the oath of office. The cabinet of the forty-sixth president is full of women, most of them also in the second half of life. I began to feel a hopefulness that I thought had been buried with the defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s and 80s. I felt the door to possibility crack open personally and collectively for embracing a productive second half.

As a neuropsychiatrist specializing in the impact of womens hormones on the brain, i.e., emotions, thoughts, values, priorities, even perception, I think of myself as a medical and psychological scout for the tribe of women. I love going out ahead for reconnaissance, gathering useful information from neuroscience and medical studies to bring back to help others find their own way forward, to understand what is happening to them physically and how that changes everything from mood to sense of identity. This may sound silly, but it encapsulates my motivation to bring you the information about the road ahead in this book.

The Upgrade is about the path to becoming your best deep selfokay, maybe its a bit grandiose, but if not now, when? In the second half of my life, I want to upgrade my skills and improve my willingness to take responsibility for doing so. I want to develop my enthusiasm, patience, humility, commitment, and determination to make the most of this life transition; recharge my brain and my self-compassion as I search for a new reality, new connections, a new sense of me. I want a new relationship to myself and others and to return to a larger purpose with renewed focus. Honoring my health span, I want to attend to the care of my body and mind so that the Upgrade becomes possible.

The Upgrade delves into doubts and misinformation in order to help you find your own answers. It is about solving the conflicts you have in your mind about how emotions, hormones, biology, and the brain work together. It is about having the courage to examine all of our qualities, rejoicing in some and improving others. It is about realizing you have a choice about your path in the second half of life.

So much of what feels normal and natural to us, when you look closely, is soft-wired into us by hormones and environment. Some of it is great and helpful, but we receive so many messages about our supposed irrelevance in the second half of life that Ive decided its time to punch through. The more you know about neurochemicals, brain circuits, and the neurons throughout the body, the greater your chances of breaking out of old patterns to create a new life. And the greater the chance well be able to reach behind to the next generation and help them too.

Im acutely aware that my experience and the experience of the women I have encountered in my life will not represent the reality for many women who have struggled under much harsher conditions than I can understand and continue to function while carrying the heavy burden of systemic racism. Many of the women in this book identify as BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and people of color) and all of them as cisgender, i.e., the female identity they were born with; their Transition and Upgrade stories exemplify experiences that reach across boundaries of race. Out of respect for the individuality of experience, I chose not to write outside my own knowledge and the understanding I have gained from my patients, family, and friends. To that end, I cant adequately address at this time the Upgrade for transgender men and women. There is so much still unknown and under-researched that it might do more harm than good, but where there is something known, it is mentioned. And where there is something known about racial and cultural differences and the Upgrade, it is also mentioned. Structural racism is embedded in the healthcare system; that is a given. I promise to do whatever I can to support the emergence of the Upgrade for all women.

To be seen, heard, and valued is what we all want, and what we need to give to one another and the ones we love. I have laid out the things I know and have experienced, the obstacles and glories in the Upgrade. But as yet there are no real developmental landmarks for women in the second half, and creating them so that we all can find our way forward is a collective effort. I want to learn about your struggles and victories, too. And more than anything I want you to know how much I value your experience and wisdom.

I hope that something here might give you support, knowledge, understanding, and courage to overcome the many obstacles in the second half. Were all in this together. So lets start the conversation that no one seems to want us to have about life after the fertile phase.