Alex Horne - Bring Me The Head Of The Taskmaster: 101 next-level tasks (and clues) that will lead one ordinary person to some extraordinary Taskmaster treasure

I know they exist. I always wanted a pair when I was a child but they always seemed to be out of stock. So now I want you to make me some.

A Tally mark is the sort of counting people in prison do in cartoons. It involves making a short vertical line every time something happens. Then when you get to four, your fifth line is a diagonal line across them to make a sort of gate. That gate represents five things and you can start on your next gate.

Note

By the way, its worth you knowing how important the number 2 is too. You should by now know the last two numbers between one and a hundred, alphabetically, for instance. Ive told you that twice.

WRITE-ON PAGES
Any references to writing in this book refer to the original printed version.
Readers should write on a separate piece of paper in these instances.

101 Next Level Tasks (And Clues)
To Lead You To Victory

Fastest wins.
Your time starts now.

I believe in second chances, but I dont believe in third or fourth chances

S. Gomez

EBURY

UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
New Zealand | India | South Africa

Ebury is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.

First published by Ebury Spotlight in 2021

Copyright Avalon Television Limited 2021

This book is published to accompany the television series entitled Taskmaster first broadcast on Dave in 2015, subsequently broadcast on Channel 4 in 2020. Taskmaster is an Avalon production.

The moral right of the author has been asserted

Cover Photograph by Ellis Parrinder
Cover Design by Two Associates

Commissioning editor: Yvonne Jacob
Project editor: Daniel Sorensen
Design: Clarkevanmeurs Design Ltd
Illustrations: Richard Palmer
Production: Catherine Ngwong

ISBN: 978-1-473-53263-2

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the authors and publishers rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

When Alex told me he wanted to write a second Taskmaster book my initial response was a firm no. Its not that I was against the idea in principle, I just find that Alex is a man who thrives on firmly maintained boundaries.

If I were to say yes to every flight of fancy he conjures up in his awful little shed then he might become the preening show pony that rears its ugly nose from time to time on the show. Please dont think that the fact you have the book in your hand means there has been any softening on my part.

In order to get the go-ahead Alex had to complete several of his own little tasks. Thus what you are about read was written in complete isolation within the confines of a building in my garden. Alex was allowed only candle-light, and lived on supermarket vitamins and white bread for the duration of his writing period.

I allowed a local farmer to enter the (for the sake of succinctly putting it) compound after eight weeks. Alex was waxed/sheared from head to foot and dusted with mite formula. On week 13 I was presented with the first draft. I immediately destroyed it in a garden incinerator whilst he watched on. I made it clear to him that I hadnt read so much as a word and was doing this for his own good.

That he had to go through this process six further times before I accepted draft one of what you are about to read is a lesson for him and each and everyone of you.

Tasks are serious and should be taken seriously. Approach each of the ones contained in this book as if it is the last thing you will ever do. If you are tackling the infuriatingly fiddly treasure hunt, be aware that it will take over your life. Its far too hard. Even when youve solved all the clues which, he assures me, you will eventually youll then have to work out how they relate to a grid at the back of the book. Its a nightmare. Hes a nightmare. But hes my nightmare.

And so, as I type the next sentence I am howling the words aloud; the haunting screech of a mighty bird of prey: over to little Alex Horne

This is a race.

It is not a race against the clock, because that would be a far easier race. Clocks can be fast, but clocks never win races. Its nearly always humans, sometimes horses and occasionally dogs.

This is a race against your fellow Taskmaster players.

You are competing against everyone else who is reading this book. Some of them are reading this sentence at the exact same time as you. Some of them read it weeks ago. Others havent even learnt to read yet. You should beat those guys.

All youve got to do is find The Taskmasters Head first.

You may well be tempted to skip through this bit and start searching for The Taskmasters Head right away but be warned: you need to read every page of this book; every page might be crucial to finding the prize. This is no straightforward race. This is not 100 metres in a straight line. Its not even a marathon.

This is a race with many twists and turns, that requires very little running, much sideways thinking and quite a lot of patience.

Thankfully, there will be a shedload of tasks along the way to distract you. These tasks will not help you find His Head. They do not contain clues. Like Taskmaster itself, they are just for fun. Each one is a distraction that may slow you down, and that is seldom a bad thing. As always, enjoy them, do your best, make good choices.

So what is The Taskmasters Head?

Its a great question and one that I need to answer immediately before someone attempts to lop off the actual head from The Actual Taskmasters Body and I regret some of the decisions Ive made over the past few months.

The Taskmasters Head is a white gold replica of His Actual Head. It is actual size. It is beautiful. And it is made of fibreglass and painted silver.

There is only one such Taskmasters Head in existence. It has been secreted in a location only I am aware of. And its now up to you to find it.

The first to find it will, of course, keep it, because of the first commandment: Finders Keepers.

But even after the first finder has taken it home, placed it on display, beside their bed, atop their Christmas tree or in their garage, like Kerry Godliman, the game remains afoot. The next hundred to track down The Heads location will also receive something to mark their efforts. And even after that, I will make sure that anyone who successfully uses this map to get to the correct destination is duly rewarded in some way or another.

So get going. Take on the tasks. There are twenty to get you started by yourself right away. But whenever you have a spare second, look at the clues, work out the answers then seek The Taskmasters Head. Anyone can do it. You can do it. As always with