Karen Casey - Worthy of Love: Meditations on Loving Ourselves and Others

Worthy of Love

Meditations on Loving Ourselves and Others

Formerly Titled The Love Book

(Hazelden Meditations)

Hazelden Publishing

Center City, Minnesota 55012

hazelden.org/bookstore

1985 by Hazelden Foundation

All rights reserved. First published September 1985.

Printed in the United States of America

No part of this publication, either print or electronic, may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the express written permission of the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.

ISBN-13: 978-0-89486-339-4

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-61649-138-3

Editors note

Worthy of Love was formerly titled The Love Book.

In the process of being reissued in 2022, this book has undergone minor editing updates and been retypeset in the Whitman font family.

To the greatest degree possible, the accuracy of quotations and sources has been verified.

Interior design: Terri Kinne

Interior illustrations: David Spohn

Reissue editor: Kai Benson

Editorial project manager: Cathy Broberg

About the book:

This collection of weekly meditations explores the topic of love between friends, family, lovers, and strangers, as well as self-love, and the challenges and new vistas love offers in any of its forms.

About the author:

Karen Casey is the author and coauthor, respectively, of Hazeldens best-selling meditation books Each Day a New Beginning and The Promise of a New Day.

About the illustrator:

David Spohn is an artist, author, and graphic designer.

There is probably no expression in my life thats been more difficult to feel, develop, offer, accept, or maintain than love. And I have so desperately wanted to revel in it, certain that if only I knew love, Id be forever happy, content, and serene every moment, never tragedys victim. How foolish our beliefs, sometimes.

My search for love didnt begin when I was a young woman. Rather, it paralleled my search for security that is rooted in my childhood. As a young child I longingly looked into the faces of others for signs of their love and thus my security. I was haunted by the fear Id be abandoned. I was certain I was unlovable. After all, wasnt I always being criticized? What I didnt know as a child, and still fail to remember with all too much frequency, is that I am loved in the purest sense of the word, and my very existence is my proof. I am a part of the spiritual universewe are all parts of the spiritual universe which is our Motherthe whole of Love.

But we humans, in our frailty and our ignorance, fail to recognize the bigger picture of love. Instead we pin our desire for love and security on others who, like us, are crippled by their blurred vision of loves presence.

In my personal search for love, I grasped men and possessions, achievements and causes, finally alcohol and other drugs before I came to know where love had resided all the time. I wish I could say Ive never forgotten. But frequent reminders and daily moments for reflection are necessary for me to know Im secure and loved and that all is well in my world today. Every day. Even when Im feeling pain.

I wrote these meditations on love because I believe all of us share the same struggles with self-knowledge, thus discovering loves home, and finding the courage to be honest and vulnerable with our fellow travelers, whose lives mirror our own and from whom we desire love. Ive often been helped over a stumbling block or down an unfamiliar pathway by a few thoughtful lines or a friends well-chosen words. I hope what you read here will serve you in your search as others words have served me in mine. Of course, the irony is that the harder we look for love, the more blurred our vision. Only when we become quiet and trust that love is our birthright do we discover its friendship has enfolded us.

Karen Casey

In real love you want the other persons good. In romantic love, you want the other person.

Margaret Anderson

WEEK 1

The expression of real love is so easy between grandparents and childrenand between good friends it passes effortlessly. But why is it so hard to share real love with a spouse or lover? Why, instead, do we want to possess them? And from them we dream of selfless devotion. Yet neither possession nor devotion guarantees the security we long for.

Real love is not selfish; it frees both the giver and the receiver. Knowing were loved sustains our hearts and diminishes our difficulties. It doesnt bind us, yet paradoxically it bonds our hearts. This encouragement to grow, to change, to dare to depart if its for our own good, are expressions of real love. Real love is never ownership, only stewardship of this moments experiences.

Lets be gentle with one another, and love fully with trust, as a child loves a grandparent.

Unconditional love corresponds to one of the deepest longings, not only of the child, but of every human being.

Erich Fromm

WEEK 2

Feeling the need to be perfect to ensure well be loved is as familiar as the robins whistle heralding spring. Am I too fat to be loved? Do people think Im dumb when I speak out? Mistakenly, we feel unique in our struggles with our fears of inadequacy, thus we fail to find comfort among friends and strangers who share our selected fears.

If we could understand our sameness with others, wed be able to feel the gentle urging within to acknowledge their presence, their smiles, their messages which are assuredly meant for our ears only. Their desire, like our own, is for the promise of love.

Unconditional love wants expression; pass it around and watch it return tenfold.

Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isnt just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgment, a promise.

Paulo Coelho

WEEK 3

A garden tended by loving hands reaps succulent fruits. Our attention to family and friends, when offered lovingly, likewise reaps rewards for all of us. Our efforts are not soon forgotten by us or our loved ones. Each loving act we express finds its home, in anothers heart as well as our own.

The decision to love someone unconditionally is simply madeand yet it takes daily persistent effort. How quickly we forget the promised benefits. Each day a gentle reminder is needed.

I will love wholly and nurture the fuller development of someone special. This one commitment, carried out, guarantees two vital, growing souls.

When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.