Janell Burley Hofmann - iRules: What Every Tech-Healthy Family Needs to Know about Selfies, Sexting, Gaming, and Growing up

Janell Burley Hofmann is a parent coach who writes about parenting and technology for The Huffington Post, has a weekly spot on American Public Media Marketplace, NPR, as tech etiquette consultant; and has been covered by major national media, including Good Morning America. She lives in Sandwich, Massachusetts. For more about Hofmann, please visit janellburleyhofmann.com.

@JanellBH

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Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the author or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its author, or the publisher.

Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

The stories and examples in this book are either composites, altered, or generalized to maintain privacy and clarity. Aside from the names of my family members and a few close friends, all of the names throughout this book have been changed. Parenting and growing up are often matters of the heart, and sharing those matters requires a careful dose of protection. I thank everyone involved for sharing pieces of their lives with me to help create these pages and help create a community where everyday people learn and grow from each other.

2014 by Janell Burley Hofmann

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

Book design by Joanna Williams

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the publisher.

ISBN-13: 9781623363529 paperback

ISBN-13: 9781623363536 ebook

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Gregory, Brendan, Ella, Lily, and Cassidy, so truly, I thank you.

Thisall of thisis for you...

Part 3 Live Fully

M y children were yelled at in the making of this book. I lose my patience often. I make ridiculous threats like If you dont stop fighting, there will be no Halloween! I once gave my kids a bag of chocolate chips and locked the door to my office so I could do an Australian radio interview. My commitment to this family is downright overwhelming, as Im sure yours is too. But weve got to be willing to show up and do the work. When you read this book, I am inviting you to grow, learn, and parent with me. This book is an intimate portrayal of the existence of technology in our lives and our homes, but also the beliefs, values, and stories that help shape our experiences with it. I share pieces of my life, the successes and the imperfections, as an offering. Take what you need. I am an expert only on what my family needs and what works within our home. I encourage you to do the same for your family. But I do believe the iRules model will bring balance, dialogue, and success to your familys relationship with technology.

Within these chapters, we will most definitely be exploring technology, its cultural impact, and the relationship our children have with it. But underneath that platform, we will be examining our truths, our stories, our lives. We cannot talk about parenting without calling up our core family values and beliefs. I invite you to fully join the conversation. As you continue through these pages, you will be given instructions on how to make your own family iRules. A collection of iRules makes a living, breathing agreement for behavior related to technologyone that suits your home, your parenting style, and your needs. iRules will allow you and your family to build healthy relationships with the technology used inside and outside your home.

We are more powerful together.

Janell