Leslie Ludy - Set-Apart Motherhood: Reflecting Joy and Beauty in Family Life

Strength and honor are her clothing;

She shall rejoice in time to come.

PROVERBS 31:25

I AM A REAL MOM . My days are filled with moments that are oh-so-real-life, not to mention unglamorous and unromantic. Like the other day, when my youngest daughter threw up all over her car seat just as church was getting out. So right there on the sidewalk while everyone was walking past in their dress pants and high heels, my husband and I went through the tedious and rather embarrassing process of cleaning up the mess while trying to keep our kids behavior in check as they ran wildly around the church lawn. We made quite a spectacle. We were an hour late for our family outing. Our kids were whining about being hungry and complaining about the smell in the car. And everyone was just a little on edge, including Mommy. But once we finally got to our destination and ate lunch in the warm sunshine, it turned out to be a meaningful day being together as a family. It just took a little bit of battling to get to the beauty.

Thats the way motherhood is for me. Battling through the daily challenges of mothering to discover the incredible beauty God has waiting for me on the other side. I have learned not to stop short and accept chaos as the norm, or resign myself to the attitude, Motherhood will always be messy and frustrating. By Gods grace, I have purposed not to settle for anything less than His pattern for motherhood and His pattern is victorious, joy-filled, and beautiful.

I have been around countless moms who roll their eyes at the notion that motherhood can be beautiful. They laugh at the idea that there can be dignity in raising children. They scoff at the suggestion that a mom of small kids can be calm, well-groomed, and well-rested. They snicker at the idea that a home with young children can be clean, beautiful, and orderly.

Believe me, I understand where these sentiments come from. I understand how challenging it can be to experience beauty, order, and dignity in the midst of mothering little ones. Eric and I were married for nearly ten years before we had children. Then God in His providence (and divine sense of humor) blessed us with four kids in four years (via two adoptions and two biological children). Since wed been in public ministry for most of our married life, we thought we were seasoned at handling challenges. But the pressures of speaking in front of large crowds, meeting book deadlines, and leading a global ministry pale in comparison to the pressures of parenting four children. Three of our kids were in diapers at the same time, and the youngest two had only seven months between them due to an adoption and surprise pregnancy that happened simultaneously. Though we had a wonderful support system of people who helped us keep an orderly home during that season, there were still many moments of diaper blowouts, baby spit-up on the carpet, ear-splitting tantrums, chaos, and constant commotion... not unlike that scene from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, when the Whos down in Whoville are making all their Noise! Noise! Noise!

Now that my kids are a bit older (eight, six, five, and four at the time of writing this book), things are a little less chaotic in our home, and we have gotten past the diaper blowouts, for which I am thankful. But the noise level is about the same, as are the constant demands of raising four young children so close in age. My days are not filled with picturesque Pottery Barn Kids moments but with noisy, messy, and often extremely exasperating scenarios.

Case in point: Last week I spilled about half of a container of milk on the floor of our van. I dont remember all the details of how it happened, but my guess is that I was unloading kids and groceries at the same time. As usual, I was attempting to carry way more than was humanly possible, while simultaneously mediating a squabble between my two youngest kids and trying to get my six-year-old to stop decorating her white shirt with the pink sidewalk chalk shed discovered on her way into the house. Consequently I spilled a large amount of milk all over the carpeted van floor. Which resulted in the smell of sour milk permeating our vehicle. Which resulted in kids whining and complaining about the smell every time they got in the car. Which resulted in me loading up all the kids the next morning and driving thirty minutes to the only car wash I knew that could shampoo car floor mats.