Leslie Ludy - Sacred Singleness: The Set-Apart Girls Guide to Purpose and Fulfillment

SACRED

singleness

LESLIE LUDY

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all verses are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible , 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Verses marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Verses marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked Y OUNG S are taken from the Youngs literal translation of the Bible.

Cover by Abris, Veneta, Oregon

Cover photoSenthil Kumar / Comet Photography / Corbis

Published in association with Loyal Arts Literary Agency, LoyalArts.com

SACRED SINGLENESS

Copyright 2009 by Winston and Brooks, Inc.

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Ludy, Leslie.

Sacred singleness / Leslie Ludy.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-7369-2288-3 (pbk.)

1. Single womenReligious life. 2. Christian womenReligious life. I. Title.

BV4596.S5L84 2009

248.8432dc22

2008049429

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 / VP-SK / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

W hen I first began contemplating writing a book on singleness, I felt a little nervous. After all, my own season of singleness was relatively short, which might seem to disqualify me from this subject. For the past 14 years, Eric and I have spoken to countless thousands of unmarried young people about Gods plan for this season of their lives, and along the way Ive encountered plenty of single young women who look at me with a fishy eye. The vibe I get from them is, Dont talk to me about being content with my singleness, honey, while you are happily married!

I understand their chagrin. I mean, you wouldnt want someone who has never driven a car giving you pointers on how to operate a motor vehicle. Or someone who has never used a stove giving you tips on the best way to fry an egg. But this is not merely a book about my own singleness experience. And its not a book in which I flippantly declare, All you single young women out there should stop complaining about how hard it is to be single! (as I sit here blissfully married).

Rather, this book is about laying down your life for Jesus Christ; surrendering every hope, dream, desire, and ambition to Him. Exchanging your own agenda for His. Awakening to His glorious purpose for this sacred season of your life. Its a message about the true Gospel.

And that is a subject I understand quite wellboth through personal experience and through interacting with thousands of young women for the past 14 years. I have found that single young women typically fall into one of two categories: those who are consumed with their own desires, and are discontented and unfulfilled in their singleness, and those who are consumed by a passionate romance with Jesus Christ, and are radiantly and joyfully pouring out their lives for Him. It is my hope and prayer that this book will equip you to be among the latter; to discover the amazing opportunity, unmatched joy, and abundant life that awaits every fully surrendered young woman. Because this world is in desperate need of young women who are willing to take up their cross and follow their King.

Modern Christian culture has been flooded with messages that sell the true Gospel short. Its not about becoming a living sacrifice for Christ anymore; its about finding your hearts desires and living your best life. The area of singleness and marriage has been no exception. Weve been trying to glean all the benefits of Christ while avoiding the cross. This book takes a stand against that kind of self-focused Christianity. Its not just a book about finding fulfillment in your singleness. Its a book about applying the Gospel of Jesus Christ to your singleness. Its not an easy message, but its a glorious one.

In the pages of this book I candidly share the journey God took me on as a single young woman, and the truths He has continued to teach me about a fully surrendered life as a married young woman. These are timeless truths that I believe can radically impact you, no matter what season of life you are in. In addition, Ive included many firsthand stories and testimonials of modern-day single young women who are living radiant, joyful, Christ-consumed lives and being mightily used for the kingdom of God. They are everyday young women who struggle with loneliness and personal desires just like you and meand yet they have allowed the amazing power of Christ to turn their challenges into triumphs. I believe you will be inspired, uplifted, and encouraged by their examples. There is also a bonus interview with Krissy, my amazing sister-in-law, who, in case you havent read any of my other books, is a veteran at radiant, Christ-centered singleness!

It is my hope that the message of this book will awaken you to the incredible plans and purposes God has for this solo season of your lifewhether you are 17 or 57. He sees your every hearts desire. He knows your every fear. And He is waiting to meet your every need and make your life into a beautiful display of His glory, starting today.

the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

E PHESIANS 1:23

God has made us for Himself, and our hearts can never know
rest and perfect satisfaction until they find it in Him.

H ANNAH H URNARD

H is name was Kyle.

He was a perfectly nice guy. Attractive, clean-cut, polite, moral. An upstanding Christian guy who went to church and believed in saving sex until marriage. The kind of guy my youth pastors and parents approved of.

Kyle liked me. I wasnt really enamored with him, but I was lonely. I hadnt had a boyfriend in about a year, and I was beginning to feel insecure and impatient. I loathed being single. I hated the stigma of not having someone in my life. It made me feel ugly and second rate. Not having a guy in my life was like being the kid on the playground who didnt get picked for the dodgeball teamalone, rejected, and overlooked.

So after three rather shallow conversations, Kyle became my boyfriend. We started talking on the phone every night, going out to dinner a few times a week, meeting for coffee on weekends, holding hands, sweetly kissing each other good night. It was all very innocent. We even talked about God. We went to church and Bible studies together and discussed what we were learning.

On the outside, it looked like a great Christian relationshiphealthy, pure, and Christ centered. But in reality the only reason Kyle was in my life was because of my loneliness and insecurity.

I knew that a romance with Kyle wasnt Gods highest for me. Kyle didnt lead me closer to Jesus Christ. Sure, he talked about God and did all the right Christian activities. He didnt smoke, cuss, drink, or have premarital sex. But selfishness was at the core of Kyles existence. He didnt live for Gods gloryhe lived for his own agenda. Christianity was just an afterthought to himnot the primary purpose of his existence. He wasnt a bond servant of Jesus Christ. He was simply a churchgoer, enslaved to his own whims and desires. Kyle didnt wake up each morning thinking,