Leslie Ludy - Answering the Guy Questions: The Set-Apart Girls Guide to Relating to the Opposite Sex

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Verses marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Verses marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Italics in quotations and Scriptures indicate authors emphasis.

Cover by Abris, Veneta, Oregon

Leslie Ludy: Published in association with Loyal Arts Literary Agency, LoyalArts.com.

ANSWERING THE GUY QUESTIONS

Copyright 2009 by Winston and Brooks, Inc.

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Ludy, Leslie.

Answering the guy questions / Leslie Ludy.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-7369-2287-6 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-3206-6 (eBook)

1. Young womenReligious life. 2. Man-woman relationshipsReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.

BV4551.3.L825 2009

All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of authors and publishers rights is strictly prohibited.

Contents

The set-apart women I admire most all had one very important thing in commonthey were passionately, ardently, fervently in love with Jesus Christ. They put Jesus Christ above pleasures, riches, comforts, friends, family, and worldly applause. And they put Jesus Christ far above guys.

Amy Carmichael sacrificed her right to be married and, instead, chose to spend her life rescuing a thousand children from being sold into temple prostitution in India. Her romance with Jesus Christ far exceeded the most beautiful fairy tale ever written.

Sabina Wurmbrand sacrificed her right to live happily ever after with the love of her life, Richard, when she was forced to make a choice between saving her husband and standing up for her first love, Jesus Christ. By choosing Jesus, she inspired her husband to stand against those who were blaspheming Christs name, and as a result, she and Richard were separated for ten long years.

Gladys Aylward spent all of her youth and beauty in a war-torn Chinese village. Rather than pining after men and pursuing marriage, family, and the comforts of this world, Gladys chose a life of service for the kingdom of God. As a result, a hundred violent prisoners were subdued into quiet obedience, two hundred orphans were saved, and thousands were pulled out of darkness and into Gods marvelous light.

Catherine Booth laid down her right to a comfortable marriage and family life. Not only did her husband pour out his life for the destitute and dying, but Catherine joined him, serving right by his side. She chose all-night prayer gatherings, long days trudging through slums, and attacks from the modern church over a stable existence in a cute home with a white picket fence.

When I study these womens lives, I am astounded and inspired by their level of commitment to Jesus Christ. They didnt just say He was their first lovethey lived it. Though they gave up their rights to be married and their dreams of living the happily ever after lifestyle, nothing was more important than serving Christ and protecting the honor of their Lord and King.

So it must be with us.

Even though this is a book about guys, I want to emphasize that Jesus Christ, not guys, must always remain the center of our existence. When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guys no longer dominate our thoughts, our actions, and our decisions. Rather, the Lover of our soul captivates us so completely that every guy we meet clearly sees that Jesus is, and always will be, the number one Prince of our heart. These lyrics from a song by According to John capture this idea beautifully:

Shes in Love

What a beautiful smile; A radiant girl

Fell in love first time I saw her; She stays on my mind

Id give anything; To know everything about her

Theres light in her eyes; And I know its all for Him

She carries on and on; Like He was her best friend

Chorus:

Shes in love; Its not hard to see

But I would like to believe it was with me

Someone got a hold of her heart

And He wont let go

And I know; Shes in love

She looks to the sky; When she talks about Him

She believes He hung the moon; Said He had to go away

She waits for His return; Says Hes coming for her soon

How can this be fair?

This guy can walk on water

Dont guess Ive got a prayer

Hes written love letters to reach her

She worships the ground He walks on

She just smiles when she says His name

Its a match made in heaven

I cant compete with the King of Kings

A CCORDING TO J OHN

Until a guy can truly say that about your life, you arent ready for an earthly Prince Charming. Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, youll always be looking to mere men to meet needs only He can fill.

So even though this book is filled with practical advice about relating to guys, let me warn you not to become consumed with the subject of the opposite sex. When you become consumed with Jesus Christ, dealing with guys becomes far less confusing!

I can honestly say that if you live out the lyrics of that song, all of the romantic desires of your heart will be fulfilledwhether you end up with an earthly Prince Charming or not. Making Jesus Christ your first love is the foundation for everything else in life, including guys. If you feel uncertain about His position in your life, read Authentic Beauty and Set-Apart Femininity, in which I explore intimacy with Christ in a very practical and in-depth way.

This book is meant to be a practical tool in your handsa fleshing out of what set-apart femininity looks like in relationship to masculinity. Through the years, countless young women have come to me with questions about guys. And to the best of my ability, Ive attempted to answer the most common ones and place them within the pages of this book. I like to write my books as if I am sitting across from you, my reader, in a cozy coffee shop, simply sharing my heart. I hope youll feel that way as you read through the following chapters filled with advice and encouragement. Think of me as a big sister who has gone before you and wants to share everything shes learned on the subject of guys.

Youll notice that I refer to my love story with my husband, Eric, quite a few times. I hope you wont feel that Im suggesting that the specific details of my love story need to be imitated. Rather, its my desire to give you a real-life example of what these biblical principles look like lived out.