Les Parrott - The Hour That Matters Most: The Surprising Power of the Family Meal

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The Hour That Matters Most: The Surprising Power of the Family Meal

Copyright 2011 by Les and Leslie Parrott and Dream Dinners. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of family copyright Blend Images/Alamy. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of beans copyright Creativeye99/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.

Cover photograph of wood copyright inxti/Shutterstock. All rights reserved.

Copyright permission has been granted by Dream Dinners, Inc. for Tyndale House Publishers to use author photographs of Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna.

Interior illustration of place setting copyright John Woodcook/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.

Designed by Ron Kaufmann

Published in association with Yates & Yates (www.yates2.com).

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Parrott, Les.

The hour that matters most : the surprising power of the family meal / Les and Leslie Parrott with Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references (p. ).

ISBN 978-1-4143-3744-9 (sc)

1. FamiliesReligious life. 2. Communication in familiesReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Dinners and diningReligious aspectsChristianity. 4. CookingReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Parrott, Leslie. II. Title.

BV4526.3.P36 2011

249dc23 2011021931

Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.

Anthony Brandt

Authors Note

A Note from Tina and Stephanie:

Just as we were going to press with this book, we received some news that none of us expected. News that all of us dread to some extent. Especially if youre a woman. If youre a man, you worry about it striking your wife, sister, or daughter. Breast cancer. Within just weeks of wrapping up this project, Tina was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Its an early-stage diagnosis, thanks to a routine mammogram, but it will require an aggressive treatment in response. Strong and unshaken in her passion to change America, Tina has found that this diagnosis only further galvanizes her reasons for writing this book: to strengthen America from its corethe family.

In this strained economy, at a time when many dual-income families are struggling just to get by, the idea of a 1950s-style, sit-down-at-the-dinner-table meal might seem impossible. Too idealistic. Too unrealistic.

But thats not our message, and we havent written a book to make you feel guilty. Thats the last thing you need. Studies show that 65 percent of teens and young adults spend less than an hour a day unplugged. And that is exactly our call.

Stop.

Unplug.

Postpone that text or conference call.

Have dinner together (or any meal, for that matter). Because as Tinas recent diagnosis reminds us, you never know when your life is going to change. Something might happen that reminds you that the only thing that really matters is your family.

We believe that your dinner hour is truly the hour that matters most. And we need to fight for it.

Introduction

Once upon a Mealtime

Along with getting enough exercise, making your own meals from healthy ingredients is one of the most important things you can do to stay fit and healthy. And sharing those meals at sit-down family dinners models this healthy behavior to your children. Theyll carry that valuable nutrition lesson with them for life.

Bob Greene

I was sorting through old childhood photographs with my husband, Les, when we discovered a long-lost Polaroid taken on my seventh birthday. Though I was sporting a giant smile in my purple paisley birthday outfit, the main character of the photograph was not me, but the cake. For some reason my mom had invited me to decorate my own birthday cake that year, and with a burst of creative energy and flourish, I had arranged everything imaginable on that cake, from porcelain figurines (overwhelmingly large for the cake) to colorful birthday cards pushed right into the frosting, which held them firmly upright. The frosting had become my celebration canvas, and I relished it.

When my husband saw the photo he immediately commented, If there is a snapshot that captures your spirit, this is the one. I love celebrations with my family, and I especially take great pleasure from a chance to be creative with food on special occasionsor even just the more mundane moments of life that need to be remembered.

This is exactly what was weighing on my mind and even aching in my soul as I rushed to get our two little boys set up for dinner at the kitchen islandrather than do what I really wanted, have the whole family sit down at our kitchen table. This mealtime, like so many others, was not sitting right with me.

In fact, as I was preparing what each boy liked (with help from some prepackaged food ready to microwave)chicken nuggets, fruit, and yogurt for Jackson; mac and cheese, carrots, and yogurt for JohnI realized that this was never the picture I had in mind for our family routine. Once I served the boys, I started the risotto simmering on the stove that Les had requested for his dinner while I rummaged through the fridge for random veggies to toss into an oversize salad for me. The boys were already off their counter stools and back to the playroom before Les carried his dish to sit in front of the television to watch the news. Thus concluded another typical family dinner hour at our home.

How could it be? This is never what I wanted. My kitchen had turned into a food court and my family members were customers. I always dreamed that wed have a shared meal together on most nights, just as I did as a kid growing up in my family. I imagined that dinner would be the backdrop to lively conversations and lots of laughter with my husband and our boys. I envisioned setting the table with a bit of creative flair on occasion, like minichalkboard place cards, or search and find place mats, and maybe a cake decorated in a surprising way from time to time!

But somewhere in the fray of raising our busy boys and managing fast-paced schedules and catering to different taste buds, I lost sight of that vision for dinner. Or maybe I was simply letting it go. Reluctantly. Almost unconsciously. After all, I still had the vision and wanted it realizedthats why I still felt a pang of guilt and an uneasiness in my spirit each night. At first, Id say to myself, Ill get us all around the table for a common meal tomorrow. But that tomorrow kept getting put off. My dream of a happy and healthy family dinner hour was becoming a distant memory. It had all but dried upuntil I met Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna.

Youll meet them, too, in the following chapter. But before we get to Stephanie and Tina, Les and I thought it might be helpful to give you a quick picture of why so many of us have left our mothers kitchens and why the common family meal too often seems like a forgotten fairy tale.

The Decade That Changed Our Dinners

Can I take your order please? The voice comes from a small scratchy speaker just outside the drivers side window. You tell the lighted menu board what you want and then you pull around to the pickup window where your food, wrapped in colored paper and cardboard, is ready to go in a paper bag. Lickety-split.