Mary Tyler Moore - Growing Up Again: Life, Loves, and Oh Yeah, Diabetes

Growing
Up Again

Also by Mary Tyler Moore

After All

Life, Loves, and oh Yeah, Diabetes

Mary Tyler Moore

St. Martins Press New York

GROWING UP AGAIN . Copyright 2009 by Mary Tyler Moore. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. For information, address St. Martins Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

www.stmartins.com

Design by Rich Arnold

The Nest of a Hawk used with permission. Copyright 2004 by Matthew Sperling.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Moore, Mary Tyler, 1936

Growing up again : life, loves, and oh yeah, diabetes / Mary Tyler Moore. 1st ed.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-312-37631-4

ISBN-10: 0-312-37631-6

1. Moore, Mary Tyler, 1936Health. 2. DiabeticsUnited StatesBiography.

3. ActressesUnited StatesBiography. I. Title.

RC660.4.M66 2009

362.1964620092dc22

[B]

2008037579

First Edition: April 2009

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For Robert, my younger suitor, who has lovingly nudged me to poke around the dusty attic at my leisure for more clues in putting this character together

My deepest gratitude to the brilliant scientists who contributed to this book and who, while improving our lives, search so fiercely for the cure.

Phil Revzin, St. Martins Press senior editor, has nobly served that good office while looking out for his favorite kid sister. Thank you, Phil.

Karen Brownlee, Director of Foundation Relations for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, has so wisely guided my efforts on their behalf these past twenty-four years, including with my writing of this book. I thank you, dear friend.

With fond thanks to Kalia Doner for always maintaining a brave smile, even when my muse seemed more moose-like than inspiring.

Uncle Tee Sims, your help in putting this book togetherwith the Internet, typing, occasional suggestionsmakes you my best friend. I love for you for that, too.

Dear Diane Revzin,

Thank you for your kind invitation.

I had a very good time.

Sincerely,

MTM

This book has been one of the most exciting projects of my life. It came about at the behest of a lovely young woman named Diane Revzin, age nineteen, who is the daughter of Philip Revzin, senior editor at St. Martins Press. She has type 1 diabetes.

It seems that one day father and daughter were washing the family caran enjoyable weekend task Diane thought of as a kind of sporting event the two of them could share. Hows it going? her dad asked.

Oh, you know, okay, I guess, she replied, but then tossed down her sponge (a most unusual attitude for her) and blurted out, I wish I had a diabetic best friend, someone to talk to about what its like to have diabetes. Sometimes I feel, I dont know, alone. Ya know?

Her father lowered his head and looked at her over the rims of his glasses and answered, Honey, youre as well informed as anybody, having read most of the books out there.

But I want to know about someone elses experiences with diabetes. Youre right, Ive pretty much read the ABCs of Diabetes and the What to Do books. I want to read someone elses personal experiences, both good and bad, and the emotional gymnastics that go with it all. Is there anybody like that you can think of, Dad?

Dear Phil thought of me! He tells me he set out my diabetes bio for Dianes considerationMary Tyler Moore. Shes a diabetic, first and foremost; shes the international chairman of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation [JDRF]; and she makes me laugh. I kind of think thats important. She seems to be deeply involved in the government relations for JDRF, including the time she spends in Washington lobbying Congress for increases in federal funding for research.

I know she cant be my buddy, Diane replied, but maybe she can come up with something.

When Phil called me, I was in the last throes of unpacking an endless array of clothes, beauty products (I keep trying), medications, toiletries, and diabetes lifelines: insulin (two types), syringes, monitors, test tapes, charts, list of appropriate insulin doses, test strips used to spot the dreaded ketones in urine, glucose tablets, alcohol swabs, a glucagon emergency kit, lancets, diabetes literature, stacks and stacks of books and letters on the subject, and a box of chocolate-covered raisins.

My husband, Robert, and I were carrying out the decision wed made to move out of our apartment in Manhattan to live full-time at our country house in Millbrook, New York. It was a major upheaval, but we had strong longings for open skies, riding trails, meadows, animals, and the quiet.

It was my cell phone. It was there, somewhere. I could hear it screaming at me! I ought to give myself a break and change to nicer, less critical music. But then I might never find it.

Aha! There it was, the phone, buried under some exercise leotards. I plucked the damn thing out of the jumbled mess of (would-be) ballerina togs, grateful for the opportunity to sit, and offered my all-purpose, if a bit breathless, Hello.

May I speak to Mary Tyler Moore? a male voice asked.

And in a most proper tone (Dad would be proud) I answered, This is she. (It sometimes takes guts to be correct with our language. I now opt for the compromise of Speaking.)

With a smile in his voice, my gentleman caller said, Im Phil RevzinSt. Martins Press. Wed like to talk to you about writing a book concerning your experiences with diabetes. Ill speak to your agent, of course, but before I do that, Id like to know if the idea is of some interest to you.

Hmmm.

And thats how it began.

Growing
Up Again

Chronic disease, like a troublesome relative, is something you can learn to manage but never quite escape. And while each and every person who has type 1 prays for a cure, and would give anything to stop thinking about it for just a year, a month, a week, a day even, the ironic truth is that only when you own itaccept it, embrace it, make it your owndo you start to be free of many of its emotional and physical burdens.

How do you accomplish this acceptance? How do you come to terms with this constant, nagging, never-ending disease? I cant tell you, not precisely. Each person who has diabetes struggles to come to terms with it and experiences the basic challenges of the disease in a uniquely personal way. For me, it has been a trip through rebellion and denial to finally arriving at acknowledgment and commitment to solutions. It took years. And the restrictions, the have-tos, the may-nots, and the never-endingness of it still rankle. But the illness is what it is, and I thank God for the genius of medical researchers, who have done so much to make diabetes a less cruel imposition while propelling us toward a cure.

I dont think the story of my life with diabetes is a model for anyone else. Theres no template to follow that will determine the course of the disease and how it affects a persons life; no one right way to manage diabetes. What I have put on paper is simply the tale of how, in the course of everyday livingdealing with the losses, the dead ends, and the triumphs that come in often seemingly random orderIve dodged, faced, and sometimes conquered the challenges of diabetes. Im sharing my story because it is what I have to give, shedding some light on the follies and achievements that Ive racked up in my daily confrontation with the disease.