Behnam Tabrizi - The Inside-Out Effect: A Practical Guide to Transformational Leadership

THE INSIDE-OUT
EFFECT

A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERSHIP

BEHNAM TABRIZI | MICHAEL TERRELL

Copyright 2013 by Behnam Tabrizi and Michael Terrell

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher.

The content of this book has been prepared for informational purposes only. Although anyone may find the ideas, concepts, practices, suggestions, recommendations, disciplines, and understandings presented in this book to be useful, the contents of this book are provided with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in providing any specific business advice to the reader. Nor is anything in this book intended to be a strategy or recommendation for any specific kind of business problem or business opportunity. Each person and business has unique needs, qualities, resources, abilities, and other attributes and this book cannot take these individual differences into account. Each person and business should engage a qualified professional to address his, her, or its unique situation.

THE INSIDE-OUT EFFECT: A Practical Guide to Transformational Leadership

Published by Evolve Publishing, Inc.
www.evolvepublishing.com

Cover design by Kirk DouPonce inspired by the original cover concept of Avantika Agarwal.
Photograph of Behnam Tabrizi by dePolo Photography.
Photograph of Michael Terrell by Sam Shapiro.

978-0-9882245-9-9 hardcover
978-0-9882245-2-0 ePUB
978-0-9882245-3-7 ePDF

Printed in the United States of America

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YOUR NAME: ______________________

What are three of your truest core values?

(Give yourself a minute or two to think.)

1. ______________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________

The book you are about to read is not your everyday book. Its pages are designed to be written in, creased, and, on occasion, ripped right out. There is nothing clean and tidy about embarking on personal transformation and the pages that follow are a reflection of that. Think of this book as a map and as a toolkit. Maps often have to be folded, reoriented, and traced on. Tools have to be used. The good news is by filling out this first page, youve already taken the first step! Keep it up. Keep your pen close as we push forward. To get the most out of this journey, prepare to make it yours.

Note: If you prefer to do most of your work on a computer, many of the tools and exercises in this book can be found on our website, www.theinsideouteffect.com

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies within you.

R ALPH W ALDO E MERSON

BEHNAM:

To my uncle and mentor, Firooz Tabrizi, MD,
who encouraged me to write this book,

and

my daughter and hero, Sheila Tabrizi,
and her generation who give me hope.

MICHAEL:

To my mom, Ann, who taught me
the meaning of leadership,

and

my dad, Glenn, who showed me
that lasting change starts within.

PREFACE

For the majority of our careers, the two of us have dedicated ourselves to helping others transform their lives. Its our passion. Its what invigorates us. Over the years, weve helped a diverse array of people make meaningful changesometimes via effective tweaks and other times through drastic overhauls. In either scenario, our overarching goal has always been the same: personal transformation toward greater fulfillment and performance.

This book is the latest step in our journey. In it, we extend to you the work and research we have done for over ten years. We give you an actionable perspective that will help you create a life that truly inspires and fulfills you.

Our core approach to transformationthe approach that will be explained in the pages aheadis rooted in innumerable hours of research, years of working with others, and life-altering personal experiences. This book draws on cutting-edge neuroscience, cognitive, behavioral, and organizational psychology, psychiatry, human potential research, leadership development theory, and the realm of spirituality. It draws on the work we have done with a myriad of amazing people over the yearsfrom Fortune 500 leaders, government employees, and non-profit managers to collegiate athletes, stay-at-home parents, and world-class educators. And it also draws on our broad spectrum of personal experiences. We are men of different generations from different countries who are in different phases of life. Our journeys and the ups and downs therein are the seeds from which this book has grown. We both have had many moments that have spurred us toward transformation. From facing personal strugglesone of us had to permanently leave his native country on the eve of revolution, while the other had to take care of his prescription drug-addicted father in the middle of the nightto dealing with career misstepsweve both lusted for status and experienced the emptiness that can come with itweve been shaped by profound inflection points in our lives. And though, for both the clients weve worked with and ourselves, personal transformation hasnt always been easy, it has been possible. It is possible. And thats why weve created this book.

As we go through this journey together, you will see many stories of people who were able to find more meaning and fulfillment in their current circumstance through incremental but important changes. You will also see many powerful stories of people who needed to make drastic changes in order to meaningfully realign their lives. In addition, you will learn more about the depths of our stories. Through these narratives and the framework we present, we will give you the tools to achieve greater well-being, happiness, performance, and fulfillment. Whether you foresee your transformation being big or small, sweeping or incremental, weve got you covered. And as you embark on your journey, not only will you begin to fundamentally change your own life, but you will also grow in your ability to meaningfully touch the lives of others. You will develop a presence and a skillset that will help you engage, empower, and motivate those around you.

The centralizing tenet of the book you are about to read is echoed in the work done by a former hospice care worker named Bronnie Ware. In her many years of tending to people at the end of their lives, people who recognized the preciousness of each remaining breath, she says that the most common regret they expressed was the following:

I wish Id had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

The Inside-Out Effect is all about giving you the courage and skills to live that self-concordant life. Its about truly looking within and exploring what makes you tick. As you explore and begin living in line with that core part of you, your world will open up like it never has before. We are incredibly excited to take this journey with you.

MEET NATE

At 35, Nate has it all. Bachelors and Masters degrees from UT-Austin. He works as a director for a large economic consultant firm in Washington, D.C. He drives a three-year old Audi A4 and is always well dressed. He lives with his wife and college sweetheart, Chloe, and their three children in a quaint neighborhood in Bethesda, Maryland. Though he frequently works long hours for his firms Capitol Hill clients, he often makes it home by 8 pm to be greeted by welcome-home yaps from the familys Jack Russell Terrier, Izzie, and Chloes most recent, usually tasty, kitchen concoction.