Dr Lisa Myers - When the Light Goes Out

Copyright 2022 Lisa Myers

First published in 2022 by Joanne Fedler Media.

All rights reserved. The author asserts her moral rights in this work through the world without waiver. No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without express written permission of the author. For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to .

Names, characters, places and incidents as they relate to clients have been fictionalized to protect their identities. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

ISBN: 978-1-925842-38-8 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-925842-39-5 (ebook)

www.awarehub.com.au

I know the pain of past trauma and anxiety all too well. The trauma snowball effect Lisa speaks of, can truly affect your quality of life. However, when trauma is well managed, it allows one to live a meaningful and peaceful existence. Something everyone deserves.

Lisas book and work is just so important. I hope anyone struggling in silence has access to these life changing tools Lisa speaks of. Anxiety and trauma must be managed holistically, and when it is you really can heal. Medication, therapy, wellness can all be incredibly transformational.

Let be and embrace. Something this book can teach so many of us.

Jessica Sepel Founder of JSHealth

Dr Lisa Myers authentic writing style makes this deep, troubling, and complex work a compelling read. Her brutal honesty allows one to share the raw pain, and loss of centre, experienced by a victim of trauma.

As a well-respected psychiatrist, she has the courage to tell her story and admit to her symptoms and this certainly de-stigmatises mental health issues. Her story also provides a service to victims of trauma who hopefully will receive more understanding and support because of her explicit sharing.

I thank Lisa for changing the narrative where mental health professionals are judged negatively when our lives are not perfect. Lisa provides a more viable and truer picture where no-one is immune. She role-models that a clinician who is committed to her patients, and seeks therapeutic assistance herself, can share their journey with deeper empathy and insight.

Renee Mill Clinical Psychologist and bestselling author of Anxiety Free, Drug Free

Gosh, at times I could barely breathe, at times I chuckled out loud and I cried and cried. Amazing, Lisa, congratulations on a beautiful piece of work!

Dr Wendy Duncan Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist

A heart-centred book on trauma, vulnerability and hope. Lisas authenticity reminds us that we are all imperfect, yet beautiful; and capable of finding light when all feels lost.

Pamela Espin AMHSW

I could not put it down. Lisas book will resonate with so many trauma survivors.

Anonymous Trauma Survivor

Lisas sincere and vulnerable story is unapologetically honest and beautiful. Just beautiful! Such an interesting read. Bravo!

I connected with her approach to just doing, disconnect and keep going to Just Do. As all working mums know, this is sometimes how we get by. Is it the answer? No.

Self-compassion and nurturing are how we truly survive and thrive and Lisas book is a testament to this.

To grow, like to grieve is a boundless process . Life is the lesson - beautiful. Lisa, thank you for sharing your story. This is an amazing book!

DLeanne Lewis Principal Laing+Simmons Double Bay and Director Laing+Simmons National Corporation, Star Luxe Listings Sydney

Lisas openness, honesty and humanness is all there in spades. It made me cry more than once and certainly took me on my own journey. I slowed down and thought more about aspects of my own life. I absolutely loved the way that the clients stories were woven through it.

Dr Sarah Marshall Psychologist

A captivating, compelling and beautifully written book, skillfully merging personal and expert insight into trauma and grief. Dr Lisa Myers guides readers through her own experiences, willingly sharing her own vulnerability and struggles, in doing so, creating a wonderful book.

Tamar D. Black, PhD Educational and Developmental Psychologist and Author, ACT for Treating Children.

Dr Myers has written an insightful account of trauma, skilfully linking her deeply personal and moving account with her years of experience as a psychiatrist in this field. Highly recommended for both clinicians and individuals affected by trauma.

Dr John Lam-Po-Tang Consulting Psychiatrist

For Dad.

Thank you for giving me this story to write.

Contents

PART 1

My Story

Life always gives us a chance to grow even if we dont like the lessons.

Prologue

I was greeted by a friendly salesman in the Vodafone store. I needed a new screen protector for my phone, and he kindly found me the right one.

Would you mind helping me to fit it? Im not very good at these things, I asked. As he opened the packaging and removed the cover, I admired his craftiness. Why do I find these small tasks so tricky?

Thank you, I smiled as I casually thought about the rest of my afternoon and the upcoming appointments with clients in my psychiatry practice.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a cylindrical stationery holder positioned on the far side of the desk.

In it was a red box cutter. Just an everyday tool used by ordinary people to open boxes, with a protruding triangular blade to rip through cardboard. It appeared macroscopic; although, it was probably just a regular-sized one.

Suddenly, my peripheral vision blurred. My heart rate shot up. All I could focus on was the bright-red object and the smooth, glistening, razor-like blade. My body remained in the Vodafone shop as my mind spun off far away. I saw the shop attendant mouthing his reply, but I couldnt hear his words. My wild heartbeat felt audible in the quiet of the shop.

In that moment, I wanted to run from the store, but couldnt without looking insane.

I took a deep breath as words filled my mouth behind my pursed lips. I swallowed hard so as not to blurt them out.

I thanked him and left the shop in a hurry, my heart racing as horrific memories circled in my head.

This is how trauma lives in us: the simplest tasks of my ordinary life have been forever invaded by an everyday object that can never be benign again.

As a psychiatrist, I know all too well how past trauma remains forever part of a persons life. Every trauma victim has their box cutter an object, sound, colour, image or situation that unexpectedly reactivates an intrusive thought or memory, casting a dark filter over the present moment. These evoke immense anxiety and the compulsion to act. For many years, Ive been the one to hold the space for others, reassuring them that as they slowly recover from trauma, the constant reminders will lose their shocking power and become like a video playing in their minds they will never stop replaying it, but it will fade in intensity and become background noise with which they do not need to engage.