Michael F. Myers - Touched by Suicide

Table of Contents

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Published by Gotham Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

First printing, September

Copyright 2006 by Michael F. Myers, M.D., and Carla Fine

All rights reserved

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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

Myers, Michael F.
Touched by suicide : hope and healing after loss /
by Michael F. Myers and Carla Fine.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.

eISBN : 978-1-101-11872-6

1. SuicidePsychological aspects. 2. BereavementPsychological aspects.
3. Suicide victimsFamily relationships. I. Fine, Carla. II. Title.
HV6545.M94 2006
362.283019dc22 2005035667

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To Joice, Briana, and Zachary, for your abiding love and wisdom. (MM)

To my dear husband, Allen Oster, for showing me that the capacity to love and be loved is never extinguished. (CF)

Acknowledgments

We are extremely grateful to the many survivors who shared their intimate stories with us as well as the numerous experts who contributed their most current research and knowledge. Their insights and observations enrich our understanding of suicide and offer hope to the millions of people throughout the world whose lives are touched by suicide every day.

We would especially like to thank Dr. Frank Campbell of the Baton Rouge Crisis Intervention Center for his dedication in making sure that survivors are never overlooked in the study and research of suicide, and to Senator Gordon and Mrs. Sharon Smith for their tremendous courage and public commitment to preventing and understanding suicide. The generosity of the time and wisdom of these three special people pays tribute to the memories of all of our loved ones who have been lost to suicide.

We are indebted to Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison for her kindness in writing the Foreword to our book. Her words of endorsement mean a great deal to us, as we greatly admire her tireless advocacy on behalf of the mentally ill. Dr. Jamisons research, teaching, writing, speaking, and work with the media have significantly lessened the stigma against suicidal individuals and their families, and have helped us all.

In addition, we would like to thank Donna Barnes, Lanny Berman, Iris Bolton, Jim Clemons, Joan and Norman Fine, Robert Gebbia, Sonia Heuer, Emily Holmes, Sue Kenyon, Amole Khadilkar, Gordon Livingston, Elizabeth Maxwell, Sherry Davis Molock, Marsha Norton, Jerry Reed, James Rogers, Kathie Russo, Ted Rynearson, Skip Simpson, Melanie Spritz, and James Werth. Their personal experience and professional expertise helped us to better understand the mystery surrounding suicide and to offer specific steps for healing and understanding after loss.

We are also grateful to the many other people whom we interviewed separately or together, including Jim Barrett, Mike Beamish, Charles Edwards, Fred Fox, Anna Graves, Bertha Hanschke, Doug Spearman, Joan Stogryn, Kathleen Troy, and Eli Zal. Their stories and time with us have been invaluable.

On a personal note, Michael would like to thank Bob Simon for his collegiality, mentorship, and scholarly research on suicide risk assessment; Leah Dickstein for her friendship, warmth of heart, and pedagogical collaboration of two decades; Bill Womack for his embracing spirit, integrity, and tireless outreach to troubled youth; and all of my mental health colleagues in Canada and the United States for their commitment to suicide prevention and caring support to survivor families. I would also like to thank, in every way possible, all of my patients who have entrusted me with their lives, allowing me to help them and to chronicle their anguish, despair, and courage so that others can learn or be benefited. Most important, I want to thank my wife, Joice, whose brilliance, zaniness, and enduring affection sustain me; my daughter, Briana, whose healing journey as a survivor of suicide and career in clinical social work inspire me; and my son, Zachary, whose intellectual curiosity and philosopher s mind humble me.

Carla would like to thank Lola Finkelstein for her constant support and inspiration as an independent and compassionate role model; Deborah Glazer and Rabbi Abraham Eckstein for their wisdom and insights; Alexander Kopelman, Sarah Murdoch, and Dolly Velasco for their unconditional friendship; and Janet, Jill, and Ellen Fine for their courage and determination to honor our parents values and beliefs. I would also like to pay tribute to the memories of Harry Reiss, my inspiration and muse for this book, and my mother, Lillian Fine, who embraced every minute of her ninety years until her last breath on December 2, 2004. Most important, I am grateful to my kind, funny, and loving husband, Allen Oster, and to our adopted daughter, Aukia Marie Betancourt, who brings constant joy and enlightenment into our life.

This book exists today as the result of an extraordinary combination of brave and intelligent people who believed in us every step of the way. Our agent, Jim Levine, helped shape the message of hope and healing after suicide, and his personal interest in the subject was instrumental in making sure that our book would find its needed audience. We would also like to thank Lindsay Edgecombe at the Levine Greenberg Literary Agency for her gracious help in assisting us with many of the details in the publication of the book.

Every page of this book reflects the influence, intelligence, and guiding hand of our wonderful editor, Erin Moore. Erins enthusiasm and belief in our mission inspired us, motivated us, and, ultimately, educated us. This book is as much hers as ours, and we are grateful and honored to have worked with her.