Jen Gotch - The Upside of Being Down: How Mental Health Struggles Led to My Greatest Successes in Work and Life

Gallery Books

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Copyright 2020 by Jennifer Gotch

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition March 2020

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Interior design by Alexis Minieri

Jacket typography by Maddy Nye

Jacket photography by Jimmy Marble, produced by Vacation Theory

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Gotch, Jen, 1971 author.

Title: The upside of being down : how mental health struggles led to my greatest successes in work and life / Jen Gotch.

Description: First Gallery Books hardcover edition. | New York : Gallery Books, 2020.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019045250 (print) | LCCN 2019045251 (ebook) | ISBN 9781982108816 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781982108830 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Gotch, Jen. | BusinesspeopleUnited StatesBiography. | BusinesswomenUnited StatesBiography. | Manic-depressive personsUnited StatesBiography. | Creative abilityUnited States. | Business womenMental healthUnited States.

Classification: LCC HC102.5.G675 A3 2020 (print) | LCC HC102.5.G675 (ebook) | DDC 616.89/50092 [B]dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019045250

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019045251

ISBN 978-1-9821-0881-6

ISBN 978-1-9821-0883-0 (ebook)

For my parents, who have never stopped offering emotional support or encouragement, and selflessly financed the first thirty years of my life, even though they only signed on for eighteen. (Guys, you need a new agent; you really got taken for a ride.)

Heres the thing about writing a memoir: the person you are when you start and the person you are when you finish are practically strangers. Its like those before and after pictures on makeover shows, except all the transformation happens on the inside. Well, my hair got longer too, but you know what I mean.

Writing this book has changed me. There has been so much learning involved, especially about myself, and it has required a depth of introspection and emotional excavation that I sure as hell didnt anticipate when I signed on for the job. In writing chapters about my childhood and my family and my marriage and my ego, I was forced to ask myself some tough questionsWhy did I feel that way? What was I really yearning for in that moment/relationship/job? What went wrong? How much of the blame did I need to own? The answers werent always pretty, and accepting responsibility in failed relationships can be hard, although important. At points throughout the last year, the difficulty of this endeavor pushed me to some low places, full of frustration and self-doubt, and left me feeling defeated. But now that Ive landed on the other side, I feel stronger than I have in years. Im more self-aware, hopeful, and content and frankly a hell of a lot less anxious than I ever could have envisioned. Its been a fitting journey for a book called The Upside of Being Down, a manifestation of the fact that our struggles can lead to our greatest successes, and I am so excited to share what Ive learned with you in the process of this book and of my life.

I have wanted to write a book since I was a tiny sun-kissed six-year-old in Boca Raton, Florida, propped up on phone books so I could reach the typewriter (yes, a typewriter, it was the seventies, thats what we typed on). Little Jen, with her blond pigtails and tan skin and incredibly hairy arms, almost always wearing a sundressblue with swiss dots, maybe, or white with lace trimbanging away at the keyboard in her fathers office, drafting the story of a princess who lived among polka-dot mushrooms in a faraway land filled with glitter, unicorns, and rainbows. It was destined to be a bestseller. The final product of all this typing was less intelligible and more like a series of random letters jammed up against each other, but the story I was trying to convey was definitely the one I just mentioned. But I didnt know how to typeor spellyet. I put the book on hold for a while (and by a while I mean forty years), but somewhere in the midst of growing up and moving away and changing careers and changing again and going to therapy and managing my mental health and starting a company and then selling a company, I found my voice. It was my voice and vision that helped launch and grow ban.do, the bright, optimistic multimillion-dollar lifestyle company where I am now chief creative officer. It was my voice on my podcast, Jen Gotch is OK Sometimes, which is where I first really dug into my struggles with mental health (though my Instagram followers know Ive been sharing that part of me for years) and let listeners in on my spirited yet very one-sided conversations with my dog, Phil, and my cat, Gertie. And its my voice that will drive this storynow with fewer unicorns and rainbows but much improved spellingas I take you through my own winding journey in an effort to help you navigate yours.

In the course of my life, I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, and ADD. I feel like theres also some lactose intolerance in there, but whos to say? My success has come in tandem with these diagnosessometimes despite them, other times because of them. Youre probably used to seeing creative types depicted as successful or suffering, one or the other. My story is both.

Ive considered my mental health struggles a gift ever since someone first put a name to them in my early twenties. Before that they were truly a pain in the ass, but once I understood and had a vocabulary for what I was dealing with, I found strength and empathy and patience. Calling on these traits isnt always easy, and I am not in limitless supply (because, who is?) but I have enough on reserve and know how to access them when I need to, thanks to a lot of hard work and self-reflection. Developing an appreciation for the importance of being mentally healthy has helped me run a company that encourages emotions in the workplace (wild concept, right?) and that operates as a group of humans rather than a corporate conglomerate. Ban.dos tagline is We exist to help you be your best and thats the mission that drives the company. Learning about mental health has taught me that living your life with hope, optimism, lightheartedness, and humor (lots and lots of humor) is a tremendous gift you can give yourself. I know now that you can suffer from mental illness and still maintain good mental health, and that the reverse is also true. You can have zero diagnosed mental illnesses, but if you ignore your emotional well-being, you will never be mentally strong and youll also miss out on a lot of the joy that comes with being human.