Daniel Cohen - What Will They Say About You When Youre Gone?: Creating a Life of Legacy

what will they say

about you when you

are gone ?

CREATING A LIFE OF LEGACY

By Rabbi Daniel Cohen

Health Communications, Inc.

Deerfield Beach, Florida

www.hcibooks.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available through the Library of Congress

2016 Rabbi Daniel Cohen

ISBN-13: 978-07573-1951-8 (Paperback)

ISBN-10: 07573-1951-3 (Paperback)

ISBN-13: 978-07573-1952-5 (ePub)

ISBN-10: 07573-1952-1 (ePub)

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos, and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.3201 S.W. 15th Street Deerfield Beach, FL 334428190

Cover and interior design and formatting by Lawna Patterson Oldfield Cover photo iStock by Getty Images

ePub created by Dawn Von Strolley Grove

To Dr. Noel KriftcherYour soul continues to soar!

CONTENTS

I count Rabbi Daniel Cohen as one of my rabbis. As a lifelong member of Congregation Agudath Sholom in Stamford, Connecticut, and a close friend, I cherish our relationship and am honored to write this foreword to his new book, which embodies our highest aspirations.

Rabbi Cohens path for creating a life of legacy can truly change each of us for the better and in turn improve the world. Theres not one person alive who hasnt confronted his or her own mortality. Each of us, at some point, wakes up to the reality that our time on Earth is limited. We want to make the most of our potential and our time here. How do we lead our lives with a sense of urgency every day? How do we develop the courage to make choices not based on pressure but on principle? How do we create the sacred space to reflect on who we are and who we want to be so we can realize our innermost goals and dreams?

I am deeply fortunate to have been raised with parents in a community that was devoted to a faith that served as an anchor and inspiration for my commitment to public service, statesmanship, democracy, and unity. Over the years in my capacity as attorney general, US senator, and a candidate for vice president of the United States, Ive struggled to lead a principled life. Rabbi Cohens focus on Courageous Choices, in particular, is one that resonates deeply for me. Were all faced with moments when we must choose between the path of convenience or conviction. Rabbi Cohens guidance for developing the moral fortitude to make courageous choices at every moment should inspire each of us every day.

Navigating life with clarity of purpose is not easy, but the rewards for doing so are enormous. Imagine for a moment if we lived our lives with the awareness of the eternal resonance of our words. Imagine if we harnessed all of our potential every day to improve ourselves, our families, our communities, and the world. Leading our lives in tune with this higher calling would also infuse our nation with greater progress, civility, unity, happiness, kindness, and honesty. The path to reverse engineering our lives is needed now more than ever. This book is a beacon of light and a touchstone for the timeless values of leading a purposeful life.

Senator Joseph Lieberman

Feed a man a fish, you feed him for a night. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

Ancient Proverb

My father, Noel Kriftcher, passed away in March 2011 at the age of seventy-one following an eighteen-month battle with brain cancer. I think of him every day, bolstered by the lifetime of shared memories he helped create within our family. While I wish he had lived longer, I recognize how fortunate we are to have had him in our lives for the time we did, and for his belief that it was his calling to not forgo any opportunity for a teachable moment, the lessons that continue to profoundly influence so many. Many of the lessons I learned from my father in lifeand, unfortunately, in deathhave found a voice in this book. I couldnt be more grateful to my close, personal friend and spiritual beacon, Rabbi Cohen, for providing this forum for my fathers legacy to remain alive and well. The residue of an inspired life lived!

In Yiddish, there is a word, bashert , which loosely translated means meant to be. Indeed, it was bashert that I met Rabbi Cohen nearly a decade ago, just after he and his family moved to Stamford, Connecticut, but prior to my retirement at forty years old from a successful nearly twenty-year business career in order to pursue, on a full-time basis, teaching, coaching, and philanthropic work. The timing of when I met Rabbi Cohen allowed me to take him up on his offer to join him on a small group tour he was leading to Israel. I had never been to Israel before and thought it would be particularly special to invite my father to join me. The trip created a powerful bond among all of us, which provided tremendous comfort throughout the period of my fathers illness, at his ultimate passing, and beyond. For this, too, I am immensely grateful to Rabbi Cohen.

A lifelong career educator who graduated from New York University at nineteen years old, ascended up through the ranks of New York City public education, and later directed a center for educational alliances and technology at NYU Polytechnic University in Brooklyn, my father was a champion of the role education could play in ensuring an overall level playing field. Devotions to family, faith, education, and athletics (primarily basketball) were his magnet and his anchorand so, too, these have served as a magnet and anchor for my siblings and me. At his packed funeral, eulogies from family and friends emphasized the deep and powerful impact my father had on their lives. Following the funeral, a number of people remarked to me how the feelings expressed inspired them to want to be more impactful in their own lives. It is a sentiment Rabbi Cohen himself has heard many times over in his professional role. And it became the basis for What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone? Rabbi Cohen and my weekly fireside chats over the ensuing years have taught me much. Among other things, they have allowed me to reflect carefully on the lessons I learned from my father during his lifetimewisdom that he imparted by his daily deeds more than his spoken wordsand that he conveyed in small increments rather than one grand gesture. It is impossible to sum up pearls of wisdom that came my way over a forty-five-year span together. However, among those most impactful were:

• We are obliged to leave the world better than we found it.
• Find a way to contribute three Ws to any organization you are part of: wealth, wisdom, and work.
• Leadership means being the best of people some of the time but one of the people all of the time.
• Be proud of your heritage.
• The answer to the question What do I make? is not a monetary amount but rather that I make people think, believe, and dream.
• Somewhere in Kenya a child is training, even (especially) when youre too tired to do so.
• In baseball, a player is neither out nor safe on his own; hes not anything until the umpire says what he is. Respect the call!
• Our role with children is to help them dream in color, even when in front of them is only black and white.

While he passed quickly, I believe my father lived the life by which he wanted to be remembered. I can only hope that the readers of this book will do the same. The time is short; the task is abundant. Godspeed.