Julie P. Boyer - Just Give Me Meaningful Work: Escape Your Exhausting Job and Start Making a Difference

JUST
GIVE ME
MEANINGFUL
WORK

JULIE P. BOYER

NEW YORK

LONDONNASHVILLEMELBOURNEVANCOUVER

J UST G IVE M E M EANINGFUL W ORK

Leave Your Exhausting Job and Start Making a Difference

2019 Julie P. Boyer

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Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing in partnership with Difference Press. Morgan James is a trademark of Morgan James, LLC. www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

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ISBN 9781642790054 paperback

ISBN 9781642790061 eBook

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018935554

Cover Design by:

Paul Curtis

Interior Design by:

Christopher Kirk

www.GFSstudio.com

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To my four nieces:

May you always know your magic, and that you change the world just by being you.

F or the third time in the last 30 minutes, Mel reaches behind her, without lifting her head from the pillow or opening her eyes, and slaps the snooze button. Her husband drops his belt as he dresses, and it lands on the wood floor with a clap. Mel moans audibly in irritation.

Its not like you dont have to get up. he mutters, and leaves for the gym. Mel manages to open her eyes, and pull herself up. She sits on the edge of the bed, stretching out the kink in her neck, dreading todays meeting with her boss. She considers everything else on her plate today: the proposal she has to put together; the mounting excess of bureaucratic paperwork shes been avoiding. And she tells herself: Just get through the day .

Theres no time for a workout, so Mel showers, dresses, and puts her makeup on. She doesnt have the motivation to put breakfast together, so she heads to her favorite caf for a croissant.

Hey Joe. Hey Angie, she says as she approaches the counter. Its the first time she smiles today, and she means it. Those two make her so happy. Do they love their job? Is that why they always seem happy? she wonders. She chats with Joe about her weekend as he makes her cappuccino. When she sits down and takes her first sip, she feels a surge of warmth run through her. As she bites into her croissant and stares out the window, she recalls that trip to France she took after college. She remembers the rush of traveling on her own, the sensory explosion that the food brought, how inspired she felt while reading in cafs, and how her mood miraculously shifted every time she entered a cathedral. How shed love to go back instead of facing her boss today.

Instead, she pulls out her phone and checks her emails. Within seconds, her whole being changes. Her mind starts racing, and she notices that shes wasting time. She rushes to the office and starts her workday, making sure to check her calendar at least once every hour. This is to remind herself that there are only five weeks until she and her husband go to St. John and that moment couldnt come soon enough. She feels a pang of guilt, however, knowing how cranky shes been with her husband lately. She cringes at this realization. She hasnt been herself in a long time; her unhappiness at work has taken its toll on both of them.

But what am I supposed to do? she thinks. Im stuck here. On paper, her life looks great, and her income gives her more stability than most people have. But her work means little to her, and its hard to live with that. She cant seem to shut off the nagging feeling that shes capable of something more, a job where she could actually make a difference, one that would make her feel proud at the end of the day. Shes almost embarrassed to say shes a project manager, but its not like she knows what work she should be doing. Shes bored, irritated, and mad at herself for not being able to lift herself out of this rut.

By 11am, Mel is exhausted and considering a second cup of coffee. Looking at her phone, she realizes she doesnt have enough time before meeting with her boss, so she grabs a water bottle, hoping that will help. Waiting for her boss to arrive in the conference room, she finds herself fantasizing about getting laid off. She pictures herself packing her belongings into a box, giving everyone hugs, and leaving while the sun is still shining. She imagines going home to take a nap. OMG, a nap , she thinks.

Shes too distracted by this fantasy of escape when her boss sits down and makes small talk with her, but whatever hes saying, shes pretty sure shes heard it before. Soon Mel notices her boss is smiling, and she tunes back into the conversation. Far from being laid off, hes praising her accomplishments; what hes trying to say is that she is getting promoted.

What happens next for Mel confuses her. Her skin goes numb, and a wash of fatigue like a trillion-pound tidal wave rushes over her. As her eyes glaze, she notices the effort it takes to keep them open. She feels a mix of horror and embarrassment as she watches herself force a smile. She hopes her emotions arent all over her face for her boss to see.

She manages to hear all the right words come out of her mouth. Wonderful. Im so happy. Thank you. She feels like a total fraud, and guilty for lying. After her meeting, she grabs her coat and walks outside, so she can call her best friend, Jill. Please pick up, please pick up, she thinks. Luckily, Jill answers.

Jill, she says, as she covers her face with her hand. What is wrong with me?

If youre like me and you identify with Mels story, then you know how painfully difficult it can be to stay in a job thats not right for you. For everyone else, work may be stressful at times, but you feel downright afflicted . There is something unbearable about going to work every day, knowing youre really only a shadow of yourself there. It doesnt matter whether you have a boss who shuts down your ideas and prevents you from having any opportunities to grow, or you feel fundamentally misaligned with the values of your company, or youre so far removed from your natural talents that your self-esteem has plummeted the impact is the same. You feel trapped, like youre not living the life you were supposed to live.

The cost of staying stuck becomes more obvious as time marches on, but the problem doesnt get any easier to solve. You start succumbing to your toxic work environment and bringing your reactivity home with you, causing too many needless fights. You find yourself avoiding life by watching more and more television, overeating when you get home, or resorting to a glass of wine to help you relax. Youre resigned to it all, and your family wonders whats happened to you. Not only are you missing the deep satisfaction of knowing and using your gifts to make an impact around you, but you seem to be stuck with the opposite. Youre stuck in negative pattern, a negative attitude, and it doesnt feel right. You know its not right. Youre disappointing yourself. As hard as youve tried, youre still in the same place, trying to find a way out.