Charlotte Hagen - My Dream Mile

My Dream Mile

Charlotte Hagen

First published in Great Britain in 2018 by

The Book Guild Ltd

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Wistow Road, Kibworth

Leicestershire, LE8 0RX

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Copyright 2018 Charlotte Hagen

The right of Charlotte Hagen to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

ISBN 978 1912881 406

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

I dedicate this book to the love of my life,

my husband, Stig.

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.

Roger Bannister

***

Roger Bannister is an English former middle-distance athlete who in 1954 ran the first four-minute mile; also known as The Dream Mile.

Dear Reader

This book has been written to inspire those of you who have experienced sudden life changes, maybe because of a medical condition that results in a life crisis or any other life-changing event for yourself or your loved ones. It is also written to encourage you to reach out for love, though it seems difficult or even impossible. Mostly it is written to those of you who want to listen. I will admit to you that my story is not unique and neither am I. Today I know that many more of you will have gone through worse situations.

I have no quick or easy solutions about how to deal with a life crisis. I can only hope that my honest story of how I managed my Dream Mile will be of some inspiration to you; that you can use it to grab hold of your life and find the courage to deal with your own situation,whatever may be the cause and fight for your independence. There is only one piece of advice I dare to give to you:

You must remember that inside your changed body, you are still you!

You will discover that although I may not have been a fast runner I did manage my Dream Mile and it took me all the way to Tuscany in Italy where I live today. I understand now that it has nothing to do with being the one who runs fastest or furthest, but in spite of all the strain and pain, it has everything to do with holding on to your life and being you!

Charlotte Hagen 2018

I have always dreamt about being in the front of an ambulance driving in an emergency, Jesper whispered to me, followed up by, so I will be in the front.

I did not remember if I nodded or smiled, I only remember clearly hearing Jespers words, but not feeling his hand when he touched me gently on my left arm. My body trembled as the paramedics slid the stretcher into tracks in the floor of the ambulance, as they clicked it into place making a stable platform for the patient; in this case, the patient was me. The atmosphere was not very dramatic considering the flashing blue lights and the small crowd that had gathered to watch.

You dont look very well. We need to take you to the hospital, said the paramedic who was sitting in the back next to me.

I looked over at him and noticed that he had such trusting eyes. My trembling body relaxed. I felt so calm when I replied to him.

I have spent most of the afternoon in the hairdressers! You just tell the driver to go up to Hobrovej, turn left and the hospital will be on the right.

These street directions turned out to be the last words I spoke for more than two weeks.

The paramedic smiled at me as the ambulance started its short journey to the hospital. Strange to say I felt so calm and relaxed on the narrow stretcher. It reminded me of when as a little girl I would sit in the back seat of my dads car as he drove us home from a family visit. The sound of his old car was like a lullaby to my ears and it always rocked me to sleep. Now my brain was begging me to close my eyes and fall asleep.

But the paramedic had decided we were going to talk, so he kept on asking me the same questions over and over again.

What is your name?

How old are you?

Where do you live?

What is your social security number?

Surely he could see that I was tired and just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. He was determined that I was going to talk. I felt as if I were a prisoner of war and the enemy was keeping me awake as a form of torture. Eventually, for a few seconds, he stopped talking and I let myself drift into that peaceful world of sleep where I so longed to be.

I woke immediately when I heard the stretcher wheels click, unlatching from their track. The ambulance had parked in front of the emergency entrance of the hospital. As the stretcher and I were being wheeled through its automatic doors I thought, these doors are to keep the sick in and the healthy out .

Little did I know how sick I really was.

The bright glare of the lights hanging above my head was too strong for my eyes. I tried to keep them closed so that I could return to the peaceful sleep I had enjoyed for that short period in the back of the ambulance. It was then that I heard the voice of a woman asking Jesper, What is her name?

Why was she asking him this? Surely I had given all of this information to the paramedic during our journey here?

Someone then leaned over me and thankfully the glare of the light was blocked from my eyes. Through my blurred vision I could see a man in a white uniform. He looked at me and with a pleasant voice said, Hello, Charlotte, my name is Frank, I am a doctor. There is nothing to be scared of but I need to drill a small hole into your head.

It was then that the darkness came over me.

It was early afternoon in April of 2014. I had just returned to my home in Lucca loaded down with presents. A few days earlier I had been surrounded by my family and closest friends celebrating my fiftieth birthday in a small cottage just outside of Silkeborg in Denmark.

Dropping my bag just inside the front door I placed the pile of presents on the long dining table in our living room. Everything else had to wait. There was only one thing that occupied my mind at that moment and that was a particular gift from my mum. From my handbag I pulled out a CD. It was a digitalised version of an old VHS video made by my friend Lotte. The CD contained an interview she had done with me more than twenty-two years ago while studying journalism. I was so curious to see what was on that recording that I quickly slipped it into my laptop and sat back to watch.

A picture of me as a young twenty-eight-year-old woman appeared on the small screen. Just looking at it brought memories flooding back. The interview on the disc made me smile, mostly because of what I was wearing and doing. In one scene I was walking on a StairMaster. I was wearing tight white leggings and a neon green top. My flame red hair was long and curly just like Madonnas. It was the late 1980s and it was the height of fashion then.The title of Lottes film was The Second Life , and the theme of the interview was life after a near-death experience. As Lotte was such a good friend to me I had said yes to her.