Theresa James - Healing Tears

Healing Tears

Theresa James

Copyright 2017 Theresa James.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Author Credit: What a horrific story was told by Theresa James when she came to my office. She saw her 3 children shot in front of her. The man with the gun was supposed to love them, since he was their own father. Can you imagine! This mother is the strongest person I have ever known. She came to me for therapy shortly after this catastrophe. What a challenge and honor each time she came. She was working through the loss and shock of it all. Besides individual therapy, she was part of a Growth Group and the other members admired her and shared this unspeakable experience.

Theresa began her book regarding her experience to help herself get a handle on this mind boggling incident. She set that book aside for 15 years. I am so glad she decided to resume this story to help others who have suffered and to encourage all of us to tap into the Power within us and to be aware of the Divine Source.

By Margaret Ballard, PhD in Energy Medicine, LCSW, LMFT

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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ISBN: 978-1-5043-7363-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-7365-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-7364-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017901108

Balboa Press rev. date: 02/14/2017

Contents

In memory of my beloved children:
Sean, Jarod, and Brandi

T he heat of the day begins to fade, as does the sun. A cool breeze gently touches my body as my hair softly blows around my face. I hear the calming tones as the wind chimes dance in the air. As the tension starts to leave my tired muscles and I relax my body in the patio chair, my thoughts race at high speed, darting in and out, like a school of minnows in a shallow stream, forever changing direction and focus.

I remember leaving my mother and stepfather to live with my father before my freshman year in high school; I had accepted my stepmom as another mother figure in my life. I felt fortunate and blessed to have two sets of parents who loved and accepted me and positively influenced my life.

Water has had such a calming effect on me throughout my life. When I was in high school, my family lived near the White River, and I spent many hours up on the catwalk overlooking the Williams Dam, watching the water move ever so slowly to the edge of the dam and then fall swiftly to begin the churning cycle below. The churning water reminded me of creaming eggs and sugar together for baking. This mystical and magical event would place me in a nature-induced trance where I would ponder my future.

As a new enlistee in the US Air Force, I knew that I would be leaving for basic training in the late summer after graduation from high school and my eighteenth birthday. These, however, were the only events in my future that I was sure would happen. I recall that in my early twenties, I had a vision, a thoughta dream if that is what you would like to call it. This idea would present itself at the oddest times in my life yet stay for a few short days, long enough only to pique my interest. The vision would always be to publish a book, so I would begin to journal. During these short spells of writing, especially after my military career, no matter how hard I would focus, I could not see or feel a subject for my book. After many years of sporadic writing, I had my long-awaited answer, an answer that came to me, not in a dream, not in a vision, but in the reality of lifes experiences. This book was a personal aid in my healing process, as well as my attempt to reach and comfort others in their times of grief or distress.

Looking back, its amazing how fast the years go by. My military career took me to Southern California where I discovered a great love for the ocean. I could walk the sands for hours, listening to the crash of the waves on the shore while searching for treasures that washed in from the water. I was more content, though, just to relax on a blanket and become mesmerized by the rise and fall of the waves coming to shore, the sounds soothing away any stress. Somewhere in the sound of moving water, there was a stillness of my soul, a place where I could regain strength and direction in my life.

So I began writing this book, with my thoughts flowing constantly, like the water of a stream, my fingers doing their best to keep up on the keyboard. The comforting sounds of soft music and my water fountain filled the background as I wrote my story, my sorrows, and my healing.

I have kept a life-altering event in my life very private for almost two decades. Numerous times over the years, I have been inspired to share this story, in hopes of giving others strength in trying times in their lives. Each time, the story is the same.

I want to share a very personal, life-changing moment in my life with you, I say. Just days after the divorce from my second husband, he broke into my house and murdered our three children and then killed himself. I know this is a shock and sounds like something you only read about or see on the news. But it happened to me.

After my revelation, the question to me is typically, How did you get through that? I cant imagine being able to move forward.

I reply, Love and support from my family, a wonderful therapist, and then I kept a journal for a year and spent a year writing this book from my journal notes, reliving every event and feeling. It was in those pages and through shedding many tears that I was able to heal my pain. Tears of joy and sorrow, and they both healed my heart!

I hope you see me now as a positive and loving person, and I want you to know that you are stronger than you think. Nothing in life is more important than love! Share that love, cherish your family, hold strong to who you are, and live !

This part of my lifes journey started in the summer of 1990.

I have been blessed with so many wonderful people who have given me strength, love, and prayers. This support has provided me with the courage to share my story with others.

My family and friends were there for me, tackling some the most awful of tasks back in 1998. Thank you all for your assistance during that time. I will always be grateful, and I love each and every one of youCharlie and Jennifer Kreilein, Dan and Gloria Kieffner, Karen James, and Kim Locker.