Paul Basden - Tough Stuff Parenting: Helping Your Kids Navigate Faith and Culture

We are thankful beyond words to Allison Harrell for her constant help and support of this book. She has served on the Preston Trail staff with us longer than anyone else, she excels in every role she undertakes, and she always has our backs. Allison transcribed several sermons we preached on these topics over the years. She read the manuscript at every stage of development, offering wise suggestions for improvement. She wrote Breaking It Down for Every Age at the end of each chaptera great contribution to the book that flows out of her own firsthand experience of raising four kids. Finally, she has been a constant encourager. Nobody has believed in this book and its potential for blessing families more than Allison. ALH, we treasure you.

We are grateful to John Kramp of HarperCollins, longtime friend from college and seminary days, who read the earliest version of the book and offered endless encouragement when we needed it most.

We thank WordServe Literary for being our agents. Greg Johnson and Keely Boeving have represented us well in the world of publishing, primarily by giving us a chance and by finding us a good publisher. We appreciate their commitment to us and to our first cowriting project.

We are grateful to Harvest House for publishing Tough Stuff Parenting . Kyle Hatfield, Gene Skinner, and their talented and gifted team have worked diligently to make this work the best it can be. It is better because of their editing and oversight.

Finally, we want to thank the parents at Preston Trail Community Church for letting us influence you as youve influenced your kids to be world-changing followers of Jesus Christ. Youve listened to our messages on these topics, discerned next steps for your families under the Spirits leadership, and experienced Gods favor along the way. We are privileged to be your pastors.

Jim Johnson and Paul Basden

Paul Basden is a cofounding and senior pastor of Preston Trail Community Church in Frisco, Texas. A native of Dallas, Texas, Paul earned his BA from Baylor University and his Master of Divinity and PhD from Southwestern Theological Seminary. Paul also served as university minister and a professor of theology at Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama. He and his wife, Denise, have two grown daughters and three grandsons.

Jim Johnson is a cofounding and senior pastor of Preston Trail Community Church in Frisco, Texas. A native of Midland, Texas, Jim earned his Master of Divinity degree from Southwestern Theological Seminary and his BA and PhD from Baylor University. He and his wife, Robin, have three grown sons, a daughter-in-law, and two granddaughters.

Paul Basden

R ichard Lederer is a funny guy. But all his humor is borrowed. Armed with a PhD in English, he has taught the Bible to high school students for almost three decades. After sharing some of the zany test answers he has received, he found out he wasnt aloneteachers from around the country started sending him wacky answers their students had submitted. When he compiled them into one essay, the results were surprising, startling, and ultimately hilariousespecially if the students thought their answers were factual! Several years ago, he published a compilation of his favorite Bible bloopers written by students. Here is a sample.

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, Am I my brothers son?

Noahs wife was called Joan of Ark.

Lots wife was a pillar of salt by day but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people, and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, Man doth not live by sweat alone.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.

St. Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

Perhaps you have never been that biblically illiterate. But if you have ever tried to talk to your kids about biblical matters, you know it can be a tough conversation.

Why Is It So Hard?

If youre struggling to have great conversations about the Bible with your kids, rest assured youre not alone. But why is it so difficult to discuss the Bible with your children? One answer stands above all others: The Bible is a tough book to understand. Even Simon Peter, who walked and talked with Jesus, said as much.

Bear in mind that our Lords patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand (2 Peter 3:15-16).

If a disciple from Jesuss inner circle confessed that even he struggled to understand the writings of the apostle Paul, were in good company when we have biblical comprehension problems.

Another reason its hard to talk to kids about the Bible is that kids can ask tough questions. Here are a dozen doozies asked by children like yours:

Why did God create the world?

Who created God?

Were there dinosaurs on the ark?

What does God look like?

Does God have friends, or is he alone?

Where does God live?

Does God sleep or rest?

Does God cry?

How can Jesus fit into my heart?

Is there a McDonalds in heaven?

Why did God make mosquitoes?

Is Santa Claus Gods really rich brother?

I will never forget the Sunday morning I got stumped after worship by a fifth-grader who asked to speak with me. We had no sooner sat down in the atrium than she asked, If God knows all things, then why did God let Adolf Hitler come to power and eventually kill more than six million Jews? Her parents had already tried their best to offer an acceptable answer, but she was not satisfied. So they sent her to me. Even with eight years of theological graduate study, I found myself at a loss for words. What does one say, what can one say, in the face of such a profound question? I may have given her a few helpful insights, but the age-old dilemma she articulated remained a mystery. She went home that day with her question unanswered.

Realizing these two difficulties, I have two aims in this chapter. The first is to equip you to talk to your kids about the Bible, God, and what Christians have historically believedregardless of who initiates the discussion. The second is to provide assurance that the Bible can help you find intellectually satisfying and morally clarifying answers to the big questions in your own life, which in turn will prepare your discussions with your kids.

The Bible Is a Big Book

Of all the things you can tell your children about the Bible, I believe this is the most important: The Bible is Gods big book that tells Gods big story. Thats more than a mouthful, so lets break it down.

Literally, the Bible is a really big book! It doesnt matter if its the NIV or NLT or KJV translation, paperback or hardback or even onlinethe Bible is a large, long, and laborious piece of literature. The typical English version has about 800,000 words on 2,000 pages in small print. Its likely bigger and longer than any other book you own or have read.