Amy Dubois Barnett - Get Yours!: How to Have Everything You Ever Dreamed of and More

CONTENTS

This book is dedicated to my mother,

MARGUERITE ROSS BARNETT,

an extraordinary woman

who showed me how to dream big,

love hard, and make every day an adventure.

FOREWORD

By Angela Burt-Murray,
Editor-in-Chief of Essence magazine

Ive always been a behind-the-scenes kind of person. The sister whos willing to do neighborhood committee work, but never leading the charge. The one who would make the calls to raise funding for a charity, but then gladly let someone else announce the results. The one who would come up with a groundbreaking idea at work, but then give the team all the credit for the execution. I always played background. You know, more like Kelly or Michelle than Beyonc. That was where I was most comfortable.

Then one day everything changed: I learned that Essence magazine was looking for a new editor-in-chief. The opportunity to run the premier magazine for black women had long been a dream of mine, but one I wasnt quite sure Id ever achieve. After all, this was a highly coveted job that many qualified people wanted just as much as I did. I had worked as an editor for the previous ten years at various magazines and had a reputation as a hard worker, creative thinker, and strong manager. But Id heard that some industry people werent sure I was the right material to run Essence. Suddenly a nagging inner voice of self-doubt was the only thing I could hear. Maybe I should pull out of contention.

It was during that time that I went into my then-boss Amy DuBois Barnetts office, threw myself down on her couch, and poured out my problem. Amy and I had worked together for a long time (starting as editors in Essences fashion and beauty department seven years before!). We made such a good team that when she got the job as editor-in-chief of Honey, she hired me as her executive editor. And then, when she was hired to run Teen People, she brought me onboard as the executive editor there as well. After working side by side for so long, she knew me better than anyoneand certainly as a successful editor-in-chief she knew what it took to get this job.

Also, I had always been inspired by Amys drive, determination, and seemingly effortless confidence. Both Honey and Teen People were extremely challenging brands to run, yet Amy never hesitated in taking them on. Her infectious enthusiasm for facing what others considered to be insurmountable odds was what had kept me working for her at three different magazines.

In three words: Amy was fearless!

After listening to me complain about the things that people were saying about me and watching me wring my hands in confusion over what I should do, Amy gave me some of the best advice of my career. This job is yours to lose. Youve been preparing for this your entire life, and theres no one better for the position, she said. I know it, but if you dont really know it then youll never get the job. Youve got to make them feel your passion and your purpose. Make them see your vision the way we do. And Amy told me that while she knew that I was scared, that was actually a good sign. It meant that I was stretching and going outside my comfort zone. That was a test, Amy said, that she often used on herself to know that she was pushing herself to the next level. Fear, she told me firmly, is good.

I went home that night and thought about what Amy had said and came to the conclusion that she was absolutely right. If I didnt believe in myself and my vision for Essence, how could I expect someone else to? I decided right then that I wasnt going to let another persons misguided opinions or my own fear keep me from the job of my dreams.

And now Im proud to say that I silenced that nagging inner voice of self-doubt, went for the job, and became the Editor-in-Chief of Essence in 2005. While Id love to claim that Im completely confident in every situation every single day, there are still times when I get nervous as I face a new challenge. But I remember Amys advice to trust that my apprehension just means Im realizing my full potential and to keep pushing forward. And its working!

Happily, theres nothing I treasure more about my dream job than having the opportunity to be a cheerleader for millions of women just like you as you reach for goals that you may have thought impossiblejust as Amy did for me! And thankfully so many of you are reaching your goals. Our success stories are everywhere: Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Pulitzer Prizewinning Washington Post journalist Robin Givhan, Tony Awardwinning Broadway actress LaChanze, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, cable and radio tycoon Cathy Hughes, Greys Anatomy creator Shonda Rimes, Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin. From the boardroom to the White House to the television studio, youre running things, girlfriend!

And while we all have that nagging voice of self-doubt, we have to look inside ourselves to move past paralyzing fear to reach our dreams.

Amys brilliant new book Get Yours! The Girlfriends Guide to Having Everything You Ever Dreamed of and More will be the personal guidebook you need to help you identify your passions, prioritize your happiness, and take on your next big challenge. Within this book, you will find the inspiration to stretch beyond self-imposed limitations, embrace your fear, and use it to realize your goals. Amys get yours philosophy helped me achieve my dream, and I know it will do the same for you!

INTRODUCTION

I am one of the happiest people I know. My husband of three years is a good man, I recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and we live in a beautiful penthouse apartment in New York City with a tree-lined deck and huge windows that bathe our home in light all day long. Ive traveled the world, hung out with celebrities, partied in the most exclusive VIP rooms, and, through it all, maintained a group of girlfriends who are like my sisters. Ive also had wonderful professional successas the Editor-in-Chief of Honey, the first-ever magazine devoted to the lifestyle of young urban women, and as the chief editor of Teen People, where I became the first black woman in this country to run a major national mainstream magazine.

Before you start rolling your eyes and looking for something to throw in my general direction, please know that although I do consider myself to be blessed, I had to work for all I achieved. The life I live today was not handed to me on a silver platter. It took me years not only to gain the things I have but also to become the confident, outspoken woman I am today. I can say without hesitation that I am happybut for way too long I was miserable, afraid to pursue what I truly wanted in life, hesitant to speak my mind, and eager to please everyone, except myself.

It all began with my strange, nomadic childhood. After my parents separated, then divorced when I was eight, my mom and I moved from town to town, never staying long enough to get to know any one place, much less make good friends. For chunks of my childhood, my dad, though consistently loving toward me, was too busy fighting his own demons to see how hard it was for me to be so rootless. By the time I applied to college, Id already lived in seven cities on three different continents.