Acknowledgments
Thanks to everyone who helped make this book a success. Liz Topp brought her writing expertise to this wonderful project, and made my voice ring true throughout the book. Im grateful for her dedication and hard work. My literary agent, Frank Weimann got the project up and running. My editor, Jennifer Leczkowski made this experience a pleasure, and Josh McDonnell at Running Press did a great job on the cover. Of course, he had a great picture to work with thanks to Michael Rosenthal.Thanks to PRB for supplying that outstanding outfit on the books cover. Im eternally grateful to my talented makeup artist Tamara Ogden for always making me feel and look beautiful. And huge thanks always to my wonderful and dedicated agent, Darren Prince and The Prince Marketing Group for their support over the years.
Hugh Hefner gets a special thank you. Hes had so much to do with my success; he started me down the path that led to this book. I also have a lot of gratitude for Donald Trump, not only for giving me the opportunity to be on Celebrity Apprentice, but also the kind things hes said about me.
Im so very lucky to have always had the loving support and encouragement of my Grandma Betty. Thanks, Grandma.
Most of all, Im grateful for my loving and adoring husband who always encourages me to be my very best and supports me in all I do. I love you Glenn, with all my heart.
Afterword
So youve gone to the trouble of reading this whole book. Now what?
If youve learned anything from me, I hope its the value of a strong work ethic. To achieve anything, from financial stability to professional success, youre going to have to push yourself through some long hours and challenging situations. Forget the fantasies about finding a rich husband or becoming an overnight pop star (as if they dont work hard!).This life is a strictly DIY operation.
For some of you, the hard work is going to start very close to home. Before you can hope to achieve your lifes goals, youre going to need to have some to feel passionate about.You may also need to work on your self-esteem and independence. Too many young women struggle with their confidence and a cordless drill. Learn to manage your insecurities sooner rather than later. Confront your flaws rather than avoid them. Address the ones that need addressing.
Once you feel solid in yourself, get the rest of your lifethe external stuffin order. If you dont have a job you love, find one. If you are lucky enough to have a career, advance it by putting in more effort, getting a new degree, or simply asking for a promotion. No matter what you do, be on time. Learn how to negotiate and ask for a raise when you think you deserve it. And when you get it, save, save, save! When you have a few thousand dollars, consider an IRA or other investment strategy.Take your financial security seriously and some day you may find yourself in the position of buying a home....
Or needing fertility treatments. Im happy to report that everythings still going great with me and my little guy. After all the drama, it is a dream come true.You know that you can trust me when I say, its not always easy; but if you do your best, most things work out in the end. Good luck finding your own happy ending.
Numero Uno
(The Only Person You Can Truly Count On)
Too many young women I know have not learned one of lifes most important lessons:You have to be able to count on yourself. You are your most T capable and reliable caretaker, so its in your best interest to become as independent and stable as possible. Even if you find yourself in the position of depending on someonea husband or relativeit will always help you in the end to establish and sustain your own, productive life.
This may sound obvious, but many women, either secretly or outright, cling to old ideas about how their lives will play out. Just like many other girls, I started out having fairy-tale fantasies, thinking if I only found my Prince Charming, everything else in my life would fall into place. And I did end up with someone who had money when I had virtually none, which had its perks for sure. But it also taught me that if I wanted to have all the security in life that I required to feel, well, secure, I would need to eke it out for myself through constant employment, scrupulous saving, and always moving towards my long-term financial goal: home ownership.
Taking full responsibility for yourself doesnt always come easily. I was lucky enough to learn a lot from my parents, who instilled in me a tremendous work ethic and the ability to wield a cordless drill. I took these skills with me to Los Angeles, where I had to take care of myself for years, simultaneously working several jobs and always hustling. It wasnt the glamorous life many girls dream of, but I had the skills and determination to hang in there and make a few real-life fantasies come true for myself.
The Easy Life in Three Fairy Tales
Ive known a lot of women who have big ideas about their future, but not much interest in putting the work in to get there.Whether its because they are beautiful, talented, or smart, a lot of girls think that their lives will be handed to them on a pink satin pillow. Here are some of the most common future fantasy scenarios among young women:
Number 1: Marry Rich
Girl with a low-paying job meets well-meaning hottie at the local coffee shop. They fall in love, and hottie turns out to be a Rockefeller. He marries her and they move to his mansion where they live happily ever after.
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
You dress impeccably and spend a fortune on your hair/shoes/bags.You hang out at expensive hotel bars and wait for a man in a suit to buy you a $15 cocktail. When a guy hits on you, your first question is always,What do you do? Youre great at finding mens personal financial information online.
THE GOAL.
Eventually, some day, you will surely find some guy with enough money to support you, who you also happen to love (or like a lot). He will marry you, and then provide you with everything you could want.You wont need any of lifes basic necessities: a job, housework skills, or any sort of retirement savings account.
Reality Check
I have so many friends and family members that are now stuck because their life plan was to count on their husbands or boyfriends to take care of them.There are so many pitfalls with counting on marrying rich, it may sound silly to list them out. However, I meet women all the time who are simply tuning out the facts. Live your life as if you are going to fly solo because that could always happen.
THERE ARE NOT A LOT OF RICH MEN OUT THERE.
First of all, there simply arent that many single rich men in the world. Even if you have a modest idea of what it means to be wealthy (Ill take the guy who manages the tie store at the mall!), these gainfully employed, highly motivated men are a rare breed. Once you sort out the married and gay ones, youre looking at a handful of candidates.
YOU CANT CONTROL CHEMISTRY.
Assuming you meet a lot of wealthy men, theres no guarantee that you will like any of them or they will like you. No matter how good looking and fun you are, chemistry is chemistry.You cant force it.
ITS EASY TO GET STRUNG ALONG...
Lets say, though, that you are in a relationship with a rich man but you are not engaged or married. He supports you, so you wait around for him to decide its time to tie the knot. Only, all too often, that day never comes.
... AND END UP EMPTY-HANDED.
I have a girlfriend who was with the same wealthy man for five years. He paid all her rent and bills that entire time. This made her feel comfortable enough to completely neglect the rest of her life. In this time, she didnt bother with a career, investments, or real estate. One day, this jerk woke up and realized he didnt want to be with my friend, and now she has nothing to fall back on. Shes really kind of screwed.