Lorraine Bodger - Im the Pretty One, Youre the Smart One: 515 Things Only Sisters Understand

Im the Pretty One, Youre the Smart One copyright 2006 by Lorraine Bodger. All rights reserved. Printed in China. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106.

E-ISBN: 978-0-740-78784-3

Library of Congress Control Number: 2005932598

www.andrewsmcmeel.com

Illustrations by Lorraine Bodger
Book design by Holly Camerlinck

Jacket design by Julie Barnes
Jacket illustrations by Katy Dockrill

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Theres no bond in the world like the bond between sisters. Just ask any sister of a sister, whether shes the oldest, the youngest, or anything in between. She may moan or groan or roll her eyesbut in the end shell admit theres no one more important in her life than her sister. Parents are just parents, brothers are just brothers, best friends are just best friends, even husbands are just husbands, but sisterswell, sisters are the ones to whom sisters always turn in times of joy or trouble, celebration or crisis.

The closeness between sisters who have grown up together, even when theres a significant age spread, is a very special kind. You couldnt even begin to count the number of secrets youve told her, the number of secrets shes guessed, the number of midnight confidences youve shared. Who else knew what was going on behind the scenes of the day-to-day family drama? Only your sister. Who else knew where, when, and how you messed up or triumphed week in and week out? Only your sister. Who else knew, a heartbeat before you did, who your Mr. Right would be? Only your sister.

Its an intimacy born of years of common experience, an intimacy you can claim with no other person in your life. No one else has seen as many of your giggles, your rages, your sillinesses, your moments of bewilderment, or your vulnerabilities as your sister has. Your parents might not have noticed how upset you were about the French teacher who yelled at you or the hockey coach who tossed you out of the game, but your sister knew everything about it. Your brother wouldnt in a million years have cared whether you were battling with your fianc, but your sister was on the case immediately. Your best friend might not have been aware of the brand-new tension between your parents, but your sister knew as much about it as you did. You and your sister sometimeseven oftendisagreed about a lot of things, but you drew strength from each other, and thats what counted in the end.

Your sisters advice (solicited or unsolicited) carries weight. Her opinions matter. Her concern comforts you. Her encouragement keeps you going and her love keeps you centered. Shes both a reflection of yourself and a totally different being, the standard against which you measure your progress and the standard against which you rebel. You dont want to be exactly like herexcept sometimes. You see yourself the way she sees youand wish you didnt. Her very presence can be a source of confusionand yet she makes sense of the world for you.

You and your sister may decide to live your lives in opposite ways on opposite sides of the globe, but there will still always be a thousand similarities between you. Sometimes you think the two of you are like twins; at other times you think shes an alien from another planet. But youre in her orbit and shes in yours, and nothing can change thatnor would you want it to, if it came right down to making a choice. No matter how far apart you are in miles or years or mindset, youre always together as sisters. And there are some things only sisters understand.

H ow reassuring it is to know theres another entire wardrobe available the minute your sister leaves the house.

T hat you want to hold onto her so tightly that she can never get away, and at the same time you wish shed disappear so you could have a life completely your own.

D rawing a line down the middle of the bedroom. You stayed on your side, she stayed on hers, and if anything of hers happened to drift across to your side of the linehooray! It automatically belonged to you.

H ow to sweet-talk your way out of your sisters wrath when youve borrowed her

1. best cashmere sweater
2. car
3. diamond studs
4. favorite CD
5. credit card

once too often without her permission.

W hy the skirt you adored in the Hip-Hop Chicks Boutique suddenly looks totally tacky, ugly, and uncool the minute your sister flicks a glance over it and says, Whyd you buy that thing?

T hat your mother always treated your sister better than she treated you.

T hat your father was always easier on your sister than he was on you.

T hat your parents always gave your sister more presents than they gave you.

T he privilege of being the flower girl at your older sisters wedding.

Exactly where you were when you didnt get in till 4 a.m.

T he agony of having to wear hand-me-downs, especially hers.

Hanging Up; Hannah and Her Sisters; Hush Hush, Sweet Charlotte; My Sister Eileen; Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters First 100 Years; The Lemon Sisters; Practical Magic.

T hat getting revenge on your big sister for her many crimes is sweeter than any candy, cookie, or ice cream cone in the world.

S he gives you the best Christmas presents of anyone. She knows what you want almost before you do.

W hy she was the smart one and you were the pretty one. Or vice versa.

T hat the NO TRESPASSING sign on your bedroom door meant everyone, especially your sister.

T hat a NO TRESPASSING sign on her bedroom door made it imperative for you to pound on that door as loudly as you possibly could and keep pounding until she opened it.

H ow glad you are that your sister blazed the trail for you through school, but how hard it is for you to follow.

H ow much fun it was for you and your sister to