Lorraine Bodger - Im Happy If Youre Happy: 515 Things Only Mothers and Daughters Understand

Im Happy If Youre Happy

Im Happy If Youre Happy
515 Things Only Mothers and Daughters Understand

Copyright 2005 by Lorraine Bodger. All rights reserved. Printed in China. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106.

E-ISBN: 978-1-4494-0647-9

Library of Congress Control Number: 2004111399

www.andrewsmcmeel.com

Illustrations by Lorraine Bodger
Book design by Holly Camerlinck
Cover Illustration by Robin Zingon
Author photo by Roberta Allen

Happy birthday! No, not the birthday marking your first completed year on earth or your twenty-first or your fifty-first. Happy day-you-were-born! Happy baby-daughter-in-her-debut-starring-role! Happy new-mother-who-just-pulled-off-the-cleverest-trick-in-the-book! Its a day for rejoicing, praise, and precedents: No one but your mom can claim to have been quite so responsible for the most important day of your life; no one but your daughter can boast she made the event so totally worthwhile. Right away you have a bond. Right away you have an understanding. Shes there for you, youre there for her. Its the first thing you understand about each other, but far from the last. Youre hitched, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, in shopping and in endless family gossip.

On that birthday the lines were drawn, and they stretched from her heart to yours. They still do, no matter how much older or more independent you get. Youll always understand things about her that no one else understands, and shell always feel the same way about you. Whos the one youll always think of and long for when something thrilling happens? Your mom or your daughter, of course. Whos the one youll call when youre lonely and blue? Your daughter or your mom, naturally.

If were going to be honest about this, well admit that just because mothers and daughters understand so much about each other doesnt mean they agree with each other about everything or get along with each other every day of the year. Mother-daughter emotions can run the gamut from love to hate, acceptance to intolerance, compatibility to contentiousness, sympathy to angersometimes all in the same day, and especially if theres a teenaged girl involved. But well also point out as fast as we can that most of us have many, many more good moments than bad ones with our daughters and our mothers. Even the moments we may shudder to remember are actually, in retrospect, much less terrible or a whole lot funnier than they appeared to be.

And if mothers and daughters didnt have their ups and downs, what would we talk about on Girls Night Out, once weve finished discussing men? We sit around for hours with our women friends, dishing the latest guess-what-my-mother-said-nows or guess-what-my-daughter-did-nows. Thats because every woman understands the mother-daughter thing; every woman is a daughter or a mother or both. From that first wail of hungerthe one you knew would get your moms attention, the one she recognized without a seconds hesitationyou two have understood each other. You get her and she gets you. And you always will.

T hat sometimes its not too clear whos the mother and whos the daughter here.

H ow much more your daughter knows about everything (especially sex) than you knew when you were her age.

T hat your having a career showed your daughter that she could have one, too. And that she can still be a mom (and a good one!) if she wants to.

C alling your mother in a panic when the roast burns, the baked potatoes explode, the salad wilts, or the cake falls. Thank heavens shes there.

H ow irritating it is that your daughter expects you to do full-time grandmothering, just when you finally feel free of mothering.

T he joy of copying out your favorite recipes for your daughter.

S hopping for school, sports, camp, college, weddings, babies. The satisfaction of checking those items off the list.

The tray your mother brings you when youre sick in bed.

B eing in a tough spot and thinking, I want my mommy!

Remarks Designed to Drive a Daughter Crazy #1:
M y, hes handsome. How did you trap him into going out with you, you clever girl?

S ending your daughter out into the world on a wing and a prayer. Wishing you could be her invisible guardian angel. Waiting anxiously for that regular Sunday-night call.

The mother-to-daughter scowl that means

What is that thing youre wearing?

I hate that ring in your nose.

Youve been on the phone too long.

Youve been on the Internet too long.

Are you planning to wait until the next millennium to clean up your room?

The daughter-to-mother scowl that means

Where on earth did you get those horrible pants?

Why are you serving meat when you know Im a vegetarian?

How many times do I have to tell you his name is Jason?

Dont you understand anything?

Would you please stop snooping around my room?

W atching your young mother dress for a party and thinking she was as beautiful as a movie star.

G iving your daughter the girls books you loved as a child.