Christie Nicholas - The Mum Who Roared: A complete A-Z guide to loving your mind, body and attitude after baby

INTRODUCTION

Since becoming a mum, have you ever woken up and not recognised who you are any more? Are you unclear of what you want from your life or have you lost sight of your goals? Have you neglected yourself and everything that once made you you? Or maybe you are just overwhelmed by the pressure and expectations that come with motherhood and are desperate for some motivation so you can actually enjoy being a woman who also happens to be a mum.

Whether you have just become a mother for the first time or are an old timer feeling lost and unmotivated, you are sharing similar experiences. From time to time all mums find themselves drained emotionally, physically and personally from having a new baby, new identity and new life to adjust to. Whether we have just given birth or are sending our children to high school, there are many moments when we all find ourselves thinking, When am I going to figure this all out?, How can I feel good about myself again? and, my favourite, Is this it?

The role of mum can be so intense that you soon forget you are also an individual. You get so absorbed by the demands of motherhood that its easy to start losing your X-factor and the key ingredients that made you the woman you are. Without recognising the warning signs, you slip into a mundane routine and just focus on the daily activities that come with being a mum and forget, or make excuses for forgetting, everything else.

Slowly, you start to neglect your role as a passionate woman who once had dreams, aspirations, sex appeal, other interests and a zest for life. How many times have you found yourself saying, I dont have time, I dont have the energy, There are too many other things to do, When the kids are older or I just cant be bothered?

And its all too easy to do this. Lets face it: motherhood is overwhelming. It is even more overwhelming when you are a new mum or an existing mum with zero support to get you through the difficult periods. Not all of us realised what we were signing up for and not all of us have someone to tell us how we can be a mum and a woman at the same time and actually get through it all relatively unscathed.

The Mum Who Roared is your starting point to having a greater love and respect for your mind, body and attitude. In it, mums from all backgrounds, nationalities, economic statuses, with children young and older, share the key tactics they implemented to feel happier, more motivated, passionate, fulfilled and balanced. After all, no one needs to tell us how hard it is to be a mother in this day and age, but they can tell us what we can do to make the role easier.

Importantly, this book is a friendly, real and practical guide to adjusting to your role as a mum. It is not a parenting guide. Instead, this motivating resource provides simple and effective tips so that you can genuinely enjoy this next chapter in your life, feel in control and stay in touch with your core needs and values.

Whether you are a new mum or simply a mum looking for some motivation, this book provides ideas that can be implemented into real lifestyles immediately and that are relevant for life, not just the early days of motherhoodideas that will make life easier and make you feel better mentally, physically and personally. The Mum Who Roared tackles ways to take care of you during this daunting, exhilarating and demanding phase. It recognises that you are a woman, not just a mum. So by following some of the suggestions, reading other real-life accounts and survival tips, and using the practical pull-out goal cards, you can continue your journey as a happy, healthy, balanced woman, who is also a mum ... A mum who roared!

Visit

www.themumwhoroared.com for more inspiration and motivation!

CHAPTER 1

Like most new mums, I was blown away with how dramatically my life changed when the baby came along. It wasnt just the nappies, messy household, permanent muffin-top, saggy boobs and boring routine that got to me. These were just the tip of the iceberg. I had a hard time adjusting to a whole list of things.

I thought that when I became a mum I would enjoy my year off work to be with my baby, have a wonderful time meeting other mums for coffee, have a perfectly clean home, dinner on the table at 6p.m. and be ready to continue with my career at the end of maternity leave if I felt like itbecause I was sure I would have the choice. (I hadnt yet realised that without a mortgage fairy or a husband willing to take a second job, there really isnt a choice.) This was pretty much the extent of my vision of motherhood and my new role. Youd be forgiven for thinking this all sounds very, very reasonable (on paper anyway).

But there were so many things nobody told me! For starters, your brain doesnt quite work the same way any more. Now it always has something you are totally responsible for influencing your every move and decision and naturally taking precedence over everything, including when you eat, sleep or go to the toilet. This was new. Now everything I did had a direct consequence on a human life, a life dependent on me.

I remember telling my mum when I was fresh out of hospital, Mum, my head hurts because I am always thinking about her [the baby]. I just cant switch off and relax a little. When does my brain start to feel like normal again? She told me to wait another 21 years and it would start to get a little easier. I honestly thought that this switch in gears in my mind was temporary and that I would feel like myself again in a few days. But its just not like that. You have to get to know and accept a new version of yourself.

Right from the beginning, I found myself naturally sacrificing my needs. It was anything from foregoing a new bra or outfit for me to pay for nice things for her to putting further studies and my career on hold because I felt it was more important to be there for the baby. At the time I didnt mind giving these things up because, like most parents, I would do anything for my child if I believed it was for the best, but I did have to quickly review what I was doing for myself and how I was actually going to address my needs, all while giving my child everything I possibly could in terms of time, love and material things. This became a juggling act and, at times, a stressful one.

I didnt realise that losing an income when I went on maternity leave would bother me so much. But it did. Even though I chose not to work for a variety of reasons, realistically, without the extra income you just cant buy and do what you are used to. We werent going to live on the streets any time soon, but spending habits did have to change dramatically. I had to get used to living without those nice things that made me feel all warm and fuzzy as well as holidays and outings, and accept having a little less financial freedom. What do people do without retail therapy? (They call it that for a reason, after all!) I had to find other activities to satisfy my superficial reliance on these splurges.

To make the situation even harder, when I stopped working to go on maternity leave, my sense of value and self-worth started to disappear. In my corporate life I would get acknowledged for good work, receive a bonus for my efforts and even a promotion when I stepped up to the plate. Now, nobody said thanks to me for getting up at 4a.m., having dinner ready on time, juggling all the domestic duties, or for going to the effort of pureing apple instead of opening a ready-to-eat jar. I started to feel unappreciated and worthless and my identity was challenged and obscured. Sadly, I even found myself telling my husband what I had cleaned that day so I could justify the importance of my contribution and get a thankyou.