Suzanne Clothier - Finding a Balance: Issues of Power in Healthy Dog/Human Relationships

Relationship is a pervading and changing mystery... brutal or lovely, the mystery waits for people wherever they go, whatever extreme they run to. Eudora Welty

F or the loving dog handler , Eudora Weltys words are easily embraced. The word relationship carries with it a world of bonds and ties that, while not always perfect, sustain and enrich our lives. Yet Kissingers remarks may create a sense of unease. A murmur may arise in the back of each readers mind that our relationships with our dogs are not one of power, but of love and caring. The word power is often distasteful to many dog handlers, as it carries with it the notions of control, abuse, domination and even fear.

Relationships and power are inherently neither good nor bad, and they are inextricably linked. For any relationship to flourish, there must be a balance of power. While we may shy away from the notion that we have power in our relationships with our dogs, our dogs do not. As social creatures, they understand (without emotional baggage) that power is granted unequally in other words, that a hierarchy of power exists, and is to be honored as a large and necessary part of the social fabric. Long before Orwell penned Animal Farm, dogs understood that some animals are more equal than others.

As handlers, we wield tremendous power over our canine charges, and have done for thousands of years. In a long-term sense, any dog is a direct result of power exerted upon a species selective breeding that dictates the dogs physical and behavioral construction. More specifically for individual dogs, we decide when and what they will eat, when and where they may eliminate, and what behaviors are acceptable.

We may discourage actions that, while instinctual, are to the human mind repulsive, such as rolling in a week old carcass, or annoying, such as barking at a stranger. Were horrified when the predatory nature of the dog reveals itself in a freshly killed bird or rabbit or mouse. We may try to train behaviors that are not in close alignment with the dogs instincts, and then seek a myriad of training approaches and devices to try to limit, inhibit or eliminate these powerful natural impulses. We are upset when the social dog is unhappy at being left alone for hours on end, and shocked when his distress turns into destruction of our possessions, howling, barking, and house-soiling.

Removing the dog from the society of his own species, we replace a canine social group with a human family. For various reasons, we may even make the ultimate decision of power, deciding when and how the dog will die.

For many readers, there is an acute awareness that such power over another being also creates great responsibility. To meet that responsibility, we seek out information on how best to care for our dogs. We prepare the highest quality food that we can. To give our dogs a rich and varied life, we provide toys and playmates, games and activities. We train them so that they can be both safe and welcome in a world that is often hostile to a dog.

In an attempt to unravel the mysteries of a relationship with a dog, we seek out information and training approaches. In the process, we are transformed ourselves as we search for a deeper understanding. We may make radical shifts in our thinking and behavior, even approach an extreme as we incorporate our new beliefs. And still we may encounter problems in our relationships with our dogs. The mystery waits. But why?