Naomi George - Mum-Me: How I Raised Babies, Survived Toddlers and Learnt to Love Myself

MUM-ME

HOW I RAISED BABIES, SURVIVED
TODDLERS AND LEARNT TO LOVE MYSELF

Naomi George

Collins

For my wonderful children, Tamara and Zane: despite the roller-coaster ride, you make life beautiful.

For my remarkable mother and dearest friend, Sharon George: you embody the strength of a woman. Ive always known I can turn to you for a laugh or a cry, for wisdom and courage. You are my cornerstone.

CONTENTS

As mother of two children, a four-year-old girl and a fifteen-month-old toddler, my life is a roller-coaster. While there are days when I effortlessly manage home, children, work and myself, there are others that make me lose my patience over something triviallike when my fridge is not stocked, when my toddler scribbles on the walls yet again, or when I am late to work and feel nothing but tired from coping with the demands of my children.

Okay, assuming that mothering comes naturally to women and that it is instinctive does not mean that it is a cakewalk. Bringing up children, especially when they belong to the baby and toddler category, requires effort, tremendous multitasking, prioritizing and organizing skills, despite which there will be days when everything goes wrongthe house is in utter chaos and youre dying to step off the mothering treadmill, but just cannot, because your children are dependent on you, and no matter what, they still have to be fed, bathed and loved.

As mother of two, I have been through the gamut of emotions and experiences that form part of motherhood, ranging from elation when my children were born to frustration as I coped with the needs of a newborn, to self-doubt, exhaustion, the blues and much more. I have watched other women experience the same frustrations and joys much like me, and have realized that raising babies and toddlers does take a toll on a womans sense of self, because she is so busy trying to be that perfect mum!

I feel each one of us, besides being mothers, owe it to ourselves to grab some me-time to nurture ourselves and be healthy, balanced individuals. A woman who is happy with her sense of self makes a better mother than one who is stretched to the limit with providing home and succour to children and family, with no time for herself. And that is at the heart of this bookraising babies and toddlers, but keeping the focus on you, the woman within, as someone who also needs care and understanding.

In the final analysis, my aim is to empathize with women in our toughest and most wonderful role: motherhood.

It is an extraordinary moment in a womans life when she realizes that she is pregnant. It ceases to be about the self; the focus is now on the life growing within and a new phase in lifemotherhood. The key to embracing pregnancy is to keep in mind that it is a natural state of being for a woman, that our bodies are designed for birth. As an expectant mother, make a conscious decision to enjoy your pregnancy, especially if it is the first pregnancy, which has an almost magical quality for a new mum-to-be. Tap into a support system of friends and family whom you can count on to be there for you. Take it one month at a time, and nine months on, there will be a squirming, squealing, gorgeous bundle of joy that is your baby!

Having said that, we do need to support our bodies the best we can. And in order to do that, it is important to understand the changes that take place in our body during pregnancy. You want to be able to give the best you can to your baby; so while imagining him or her in cute outfits and deciding on baby names, sit down and get informed about your body so that you can do the right thing for your baby and for yourself.

UNDERSTANDING PREGNANCY

Once the euphoria of being pregnant settles down, the chief emotion that surfaces is a sense of responsibility towards the baby you are carrying. There is a realization that you no longer function as an independent being, and every choice you make will have an impact on the growing baby.

It is essential to understand what your body needs during pregnancy in order to provide optimum nourishment and care for your baby and yourself. For instance, folic acid is crucial for the babys developing spinal cord during the first three months of pregnancy. This is something that many women have no idea about till they get pregnant and visit a doctor, unless they have the foresight to read up on the subject prior to getting pregnant. In fact, unless the pregnancy comes as a complete surprise, it is advisable to start taking 400 mg of folic acid from the moment you and your partner plan to have a baby, and continue to take it for the first trimester of the pregnancy.

Knowing your bodys needs will help you prepare for birth, and give your baby and yourself a healthy head start in life.

READ UP

One way to feel in control of your pregnancy is to understand it. There are numerous resources that you can avail of, both online and in print, on the subject that will help you understand the changes taking place in your body.

When I was pregnant with my first born, I bought the book widely considered the Bible on pregnancy: What to Expect When Youre Expecting by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel. This is an excellent bookmeticulously researched, with a month-by-month breakdown on pregnancy, detailed weekly information on the growing foetus, facts on changes in the mothers body, information on diet, exercise, and with very clear dos and donts for each stage of your pregnancy.

The book covers every topic imaginable, right through the planning stage of pregnancy to the six weeks of post-partum. I cannot recommend this book enough; it was my first point of reference for any concern or doubt that I had through both my pregnancies.

For those who prefer to read on the Internet, www.babycentre.co.in is an excellent resource of information that sends weekly newsletters on your babys development via email. It also features forums for discussing pregnancy and baby-related information. The website offers handy tips and advice on every stage of pregnancy including diet, exercise, labour and delivery. It is an excellent way to reach out to other expectant mothers and mothers who have already been through pregnancy.

The above two resources were my principal guides during my pregnancy.

THE PREGNANCY DIET

Diet is the key in pregnancy, and since your baby is the direct recipient of what you eat, your diet needs to be considered very seriously and changes made as required.

If you are a junk food junkie, now is the time to stop foods with zero nutritional value and start eating healthy. I am not suggesting that you stop eating samosas, burgers and fries for nine months entirely; just do not make them your staple food. Instead, they should simply be an indulgence for those moments when you are fed up of the pregnancy diet and need a change.

The diet is simple: make sure that your meals are varied, balanced and have a serving of protein, vitamins and minerals in each meal. That being said, I knew I wasnt going to evaluate how much vitamin and protein each meal of mine contained. So during my pregnancies I followed a rainbow diet. I made sure my meals had colours in them, as colours are indicative of a range of vitamins. This is a broad categorization, but it does help to lock in your vitamin intake.

RAINBOW DIET

Red: beetroot, tomato, watermelon, strawberry and appleall contain phytochemicals that are powerful antioxidants, help control high blood pressure and help your body fight disease.

Green: spinach, broccoli, zucchini, fenugreek and avocado contain minerals such as iron that are essential for the developing blood supply of the baby, and calcium for bone and tissue development.