Syd Veverka - Things to Do Before a Monday

Text and illustrations copyright 2018 by SYD VEVERKA

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available.

ISBN 978-1-4521-7032-9 (hc)
ISBN 978-1-4521-7054-1 (epub, mobi)

Designed by RACHEL HARRELL

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Ever found yourself a little bored, with a bit of time on your hands, antsy to do something silly?

Maybe youre a little anxious because its about to be Monday again and wait, what did you even do this weekend?

Lets enhance your routine with some goofs and nice gestures, strictly with the goal of making smiles!

Here are 52 things, one for every Sunday of the year, to replace Monday blues with giggles and to get you out there doin...

• weird and ridiculous things
• unique and fabulous things
• kind and Instagrammable things

Youve likely seen those well-groomed bodies cluttering coffee shops with their canvas laptop bags and clicking keyboards, staring past the wall, deep in thought, swirling an iced mocha with almond milk until an aha! moment of clarity sparks more keyboard clicking. That could be you! And maybe it already is; there are a lot of folks filling the ever-expanding table space as coffee shops take over the world one street corner at a time. Think of all the creative gold transferred from the depths of minds into prose in those places. You have creative gold in your head too, itching to travel from your fingers to a Word document: a tragic childhood memory of a missing pup or a suspenseful mystery featuring quirky characters from your neighborhood watch group. Whichever type of story suits you, grab that elaborate coffee order and write it.

This one takes a bit of emotional prep. If you are the type who tends to like animals more than people, and/or no matter how hard you resist, you have to pet every dog walking its owner down the sidewalk... then prepare for some very strong feelings that will probably arise at an animal shelter. These feelings may span the spectrum from tear streams for the sad, lonely pups to uncontrollable giggles for the new batch of kittens cooing in the back room, who are so small that their eyes arent open yet (but they love your smell, so they crawl into all the nooks of your body that you never knew you had).

WARNING: you may not be able to go home without a whole new crew of best friends to care for dearly for the next many years of your life.

TIPS FOR A SMOOTH RIDE:

• The sweatier your palms the better.
• Avoid high-traffic areas. Instead, bike down a porch-filled street and wave, wink, and show off those interlocked fingers and cheesy grins. Youll be the most gosh-darn-adorable thing people have seen around those parts all week.
• For a black-diamond-level experience, sit on his handlebars and sing the song you have stuck in your head because it plays at work every six minutes. For a double-black-diamond-level experience, stand on one foot on his head and recite the US presidents in order from baldest to most luxuriously locked.
• If you cant round up a cute boy of your own, ride up to one on the street and grab hold of those sticky fingers.
• You probably have a skilled-at-fixing-bikes neighbor, so if youre having mechanical problems, just skip the bike shop and ask her for help instead.

Youve got a BIG week ahead of you, and theres nothing better to pump you up and prep you than a close-up, foggy, flecks-of-spit-on-the-mirror reflection of your determined face. Take in those wrinkles and admire the oncoming stress breakout, then get your day going with some out-loud reasons why you are wonderful and resilient and stunning and dont take nothin from nobody. You know what else? You are steamy and lovely and have fabulous hair. You know your good qualities. Be sure to compliment your voice on how mysteriously eerie it sounds shouting those compliments in a bathroom.

Did you know that the mere presence of plants in your house or apartment or shed or studio (wherever you spend time) can boost your attention span and therefore make you smarter? Sounds like a good reason to turn your bathroom into a rainforest conservatory where the moist, sauna-esque atmosphere will cleanse your bod while your plants engulf you, keeping you sharp enough for that Sunday crossword. Paint some original imagery on the walls for added taste, which will inspire you to draw more because it makes you realize that you are better at it than you thought. If you need some inspiration, type your favorite words into the Pinterest search bar. Think of your hobbies or favorite animals. What would look the most intimidating around your bedroom door to prepare all those who enter for who truly resides within?