Tyanni Niles - Beet This: An Unofficial Schrute Farms Cookbook

The typical life of a beet over three months.

Temperature: Theres a reason that Northeastern Pennsylvania is known as the beet basket of the worldbeets grow best in cool temperatures, ideally between 50 and 65F (283 and 291.5 Kelvin). Youll want to hit pause on planting when temperatures climb into the 80s (300s).

Sowing: Plant your beet seeds a fortnight ahead of springs final frost. Sow each small handful of seeds 1 inch deep and 6 inches apart (in rows spaced a foot apart). Your average healthy acre should yield about 18 tons of beetsenough to feed a Schrute family of four for nearly a week.

Nurturing: Beets thrive in slightly moist soil. Consistently water throughout the growing season to avoid letting the soil dry out. You can grow superior beets in both full and partial sun.

Remove weeds by hand to ensure the beets arent disturbed. To guard against potential pestssuch as slugs, weevils, and leaf minerswe strongly recommend assigning a small child the honor of Overnight Guard Duty.

Harvesting: Your beets will be ready for harvesting between 40 (for baby beets) and 80 days (fully grown beets) after planting. Take the same care when digging out each beetroot that you would in helping to remove a young foal from the birth canal.

Storing: You can store your harvested beets in your refrigerator for up to 3 weeks. Beet greens can stay fresh and crisp up to a week in the refrigerator in a plastic bag.

Growing Hydroponic Beets Indoors

If youre afraid to get your hands into some sweet manure-laced earth, you can always grow your beets indoors using tuber hydroponics. Youll need to germinate your seedlings in trays before carefully transferring them to a beet-friendly growing media, such as clay pebbles, that will keep the seeds stable and moist. Your babies will need a deep growing container, plenty of water and nutrients, and about 6 to 8 hours of simulated sun each day. They should take about 2 months to mature for harvest.

Choosing the right beets will make or break your dish. If you ever come across a couple of beets, do whatever you want with them. Fry them, saut them, whatever. We already know what to do with ours. But as much as wed love for you to figure it out yourself, our editors recommended we let you in on our family secrets. So, here are our tips:

Selecting: Superior beets are vibrant in color and firm and round. There are many beet varieties out there (e.g., red, golden, Chioggia, you name it!), but for the sake of this cookbook, we will be using the classic red beet. When choosing your red beets, look for a deep red color. The skin should be unblemished. If the leaves are attached, they should be a bright green. Red beets have a rich, earthy flavor but will gain a bit of sweetness the longer they are stored.

Cleaning: Twist or trim the stems and leaves of your beets to about inch. The great thing about beets? Theyre not just for roasting. Repurpose the leaves and use them to make other delicious recipes like salads or . Lightly scrub the beets under cold water with a clean brush or rough sponge to remove dirt and debris. Dont worry too much about the dirt in the stems; you can remove them with a knife by cutting right below the dark area near the top of the root.

Superior varieties of beets include (from left to right) the ringed Chioggia, white Avalanche, sweet Golden, and virile Schrute.