Stephanie W. Mackara - Money Minded Families: How to Raise Financially Well Children

Stephanie W. Mackara

Copyright 2020 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

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9781119635901 (Hardback)
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To Bernie
For hearing my thoughts, understanding my dreams, and being my best friend For filling my life with music, and loving me without end thank you.

Writing a book is harder than I thought and more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. None of this would have been possible without the love, support and inspiration from my boys Bernie and Jacob. Bernie for giving me the space and encouragement to follow my passions and Jacob for being my guinea pig, my heart and my inspiration.

I'm eternally grateful to all of amazing colleagues I have the pleasure of calling my friends over my career who have led, empowered and showed me that anything is possible. I learned so much about business, leadership and grace from each of you.

To my girls, my chosen family, whose unwavering support, compassion and honesty I cherish. To my Mom, brother Michael and sister Karen, who helped to guide and shape my experiences and my person as I grew, these memories and experiences led me here.

To everyone at Wiley for taking a chance on me and my book. Thank you for turning my scribbles into something more.

Finally, a huge THANK YOU! to all the others who encouraged me along this journey and have been a part of making this dream come true.

In addition to being chefs, therapists, nurses, chauffeurs, and more, parents are inevitably teachers, despite most of us not having a degree in education (or for that matter, in any of these professions). For so many facets of parenthood, there is no guidebook or instruction manual. As parents, we tend to focus most of our energies on the emotional and physical wellbeing of our children. I propose we must also focus on their financial wellbeing.

Children are extraordinary learners from a very young age. They master concepts, language, walking, negotiating, and more in just their first few years. Yet we typically don't engage our children in learning about financial matters until much later in life, if ever. This is a mistake. In fact, perhaps because of this mistake, many parents never truly become knowledgeable about basic finances, let alone master their own.

According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, financial wellbeing is defined as a state of being wherein you have control over day-to-day, month-to-month finances; have the capacity to absorb a financial shock; are on track to meet your financial goals; and have the financial freedom to make the choices that allow you to enjoy life. My definition of financial wellbeing is much simpler. Financial wellbeing is a state of clarity, purpose, and direction; it is not separate from your personal wellbeing, in fact, financial wellbeing is inextricably intertwined with your overall health. We must begin to incorporate all aspects of wellbeing into our daily lives: emotional, physical, and financial, in order to optimize our personal health. And it must begin at a very young age.

As someone with a career in finance, I want to help you have important conversations and experiences about money with your children. Recognizing and making the most of teachable moments as they present themselves can help shape your children's future attitudes and behavior around their finances and give them a sense of financial wellbeing. After all, parenting is, if nothing else, teaching our children to make smart choices that allow them to enjoy life.

I have a son of my own, Jacob. My husband, Bernie, and I have worked hard to lay the groundwork to help him create smart and healthy financial habits. Starting when he played with a toy cash register as a toddler, I tried to teach him how credit cards work. He was too young to fully grasp the lesson then, but our conversations about money evolve as he grows up. I wish I had the same open communication with my own parents when I was a kid. Instead, I grew up like many children of my generation where money was a taboo topic in our house. When I asked my parents about their salaries, I was told I was being crass and inappropriate. It made me feel that money was bad, something never to discuss. It took me years to correct this negative association. Never forgetting how that made me feel, I want to make sure that Jacob knows only open and honest communication about money that helps him build the foundation of a successful and healthy relationship with his own finances and in his life.

This is not to judge my parents' parenting. As parents, we are all often just treading water, doing the very best we can. But I do think we need to pay attention, listen closely, and be present when it comes to talking about money and finances. Our kids so desperately need guidance. I encourage you not to underestimate the people and lessons in your children's lives and the permanent impact they can have on their financial behaviors, attitudes, and overall wellbeing. I was fortunate to have close friends throughout high school and college who were taught basic financial concepts and did offer guidance that intrigued meso much so that I wanted to learn and understand more about how best to earn, invest, and spend money. Maybe this is what led me to my current profession as a financial advisor.