Beca Lewis - A Womans ABCs of Life

T his book began with a request from my youngest daughter. She often called me from college to ask advice for her and her friends. Finally, she asked me to write it all down, and voila! A book was born. My advice at that time for young women. And since many of their questions began with dating and love, I started there.

Most of this advice grew out of observations from my own life. Though it was often filled with soap-opera-type plots, I discovered that in the end, it is not the ride that counts; its what you walk away with.

I have walked away with a heart filled with gratitude for my children, who took the ride with me, and my friends, who were there to support me. Thanks to all of you, but specifically those who helped make this book a reality:

To my parents, Arthur and Celeste Lewis, who must have found it difficult to have a daughter who questioned everything, and yet believed in the impossible.

To my sister, Jamie Lewis, who by looking up to me, gave me a reason for living up to an ideal.

To my children: Charles Wareham, Christin Von Musser, and Laurie Lewis-Knoedler, for loving me through it all.

To my mentor, Dorothy Hardy, for all that you taught me.

To my husband, Delbert Lee Piper Sr., who supports and inspires me.

To what I have learned: To not indulge in what is not good, but rejoice in all that is.

A cknowledge your man often as possible. Tell him how wonderful he is to you. Pick something good about him to focus on, no matter how small. He has to start somewhere.

B eware of a man who is just getting over another serious relationship.

C ount out a man who is abusive physically, verbally, or emotionally. In this case, the words I love you are abusive too. Leave.

D iscover your mans values and honor them as if they were your own.

E njoy your life when hes not around. He loved you for the life you had before you met, so dont stop now!

F orget a Mommys boy.

G ive up a man who spends all his spare time hanging with the boys. He will not grow out of it just because you came into his life.

H old on to a man who knows that behind every good man there is a good womanand he loves it!

I nvolve your man in your life. He needs to know he is valuable to you.

J ustify his trust in you. Never betray him in thought, word, or action.

K eep a man who knows that behind every good woman there is a good man, and he is willing to be that man for you.

L et him do what he does best and you do what you do best. Be equal partners.

M ake sure you realize that once you sleep with a man, you have lost your ability to think objectively.

N ever give a man an ultimatum. You will lose! Give him enough valid reasons to do what you want, and he will. Dont tell him, show him.

O bserve his actions. They speak louder than words. Observe your actions. Make sure they match what you say.

P arenthood is an important issue. Be sure your man shares your views on this subject.

Q ualify a mans intention. Remember, many of them have one goal, sex.

R un from a man who has been to hell and has decided to wallow in the experience. Thats all he will ever be able to do. He wont be able to make a commitment to his own progress in life, let alone yours.