Larry Smith - The Moment: Stories of How a Single, Random Instant Changed Their Lives—by Writers Famous & Obscure

WILD, POIGNANT, LIFE-CHANGING
STORIES FROM 125 WRITERS AND ARTISTS
FAMOUS & OBSCURE

edited by

Larry Smith,
SMITH Magazine

For Lukas

T he three-pound weights were hidden by my sweatpants as I slipped onto the scale. With my father standing nearby looking stern and my mother hovering next to him in tears, I realized this couldnt continue. I could probably fool my parents for a little while longer, and maybe my friends, but I was too tired to fool myself: I was a teenage boy with an eating disorder. I could not conquer it myself, and there was no way this was going to end well if I didnt cave in to my parents request to seek help. That moment of clarity while cheating the scale in their South Jersey bedroom may have saved my lifeand certainly spared everyone around me a lot more misery. Its a moment that, decades later, is with me more days than not. I credit that starved time in my adolescence for both an emphatic dedication to food as an adult and a special empathy for anyone dealing with body issues. And youd never know it, but, like so many of the 125 writers and artists in this book, Ive never shared that part of my life publicly before.

I launched SMITH Magazine in 2006 with a simple premise: Everyone has a story, and everyone should have a place to tell it. Traveling across the country for readings from our Six-Word Memoir book series, I heard one refrain again and again: I have the most amazing story to tell you. These stories were always longer than six words, and often revolved around a very specific event that had made a very big impact on the tellers life. From those conversations came the inspiration to carve out space on smithmag.net for what we dubbed The Moment.

As the stories began to pour in, from famous and obscure contributors alike, we heard how the simple question What was your Moment? was spurring conversations across dinner tables, on bar stools, beach blankets, and especially in schools. We are particularly delighted to feature Moments that began as assignments in a number of classrooms, including two each from Ramona Pringles interactive-design class at Ryerson University in Toronto and from Kristen Brookess writing class at Amherst. The fact that a number of these stories of life-changing Momentsincluding one from Dave Eggersinvolved a teacher amply reminds us of how consequential those relationships can be. That this book features never-before-published writers such as Eddie Comacho, describing the moment he agreed to be adopted, alongside Pulitzer Prizewinning authors like Jennifer Egan, revisiting her teenage self and a decisive turn toward becoming a novelist, likewise reminds us of how true our founding premise was. Everyone does indeed have a story.

These stories hit us where we live. Few of us will ever set foot in a war zone, and yet Aaron Hueys If I Dont Die Today, I Will Marry Kristin Moore evokes a Moment for anyone whos been jolted to take action. Jennifer Thompsons Forgiven, about confronting the man she wrongfully sent to jail, reminds us of our own Moments in which we must find a way to reconcile a wrong and move forward. Author Steve Almond was the lucky recipient of a handwritten fan letter from John Updike, yet most of us have been blessed with praisefrom a friend, relative, or mentorthat inspired us to continue on a path, passion, or career. Everyone has a first-kiss Moment, and three authors (along with some short-form storytellers via smithmag.net) shared theirs. We bet youll see a little bit of yourself in these lip-smacking remembrancesthe good, the bad, and the embarrassing.

For these stories of kisses and kindnesses, grade school injustices and intense revelations, unexpected meetings and unforgivable transgressions, disappointments and delights, births and deaths, I thank everyone who has generously shared a life-changing Moment. Like a personal secret that needs to be released, revealing a moment that changed your lifefor good, for bad, or even for worseis an offering: a connection to others that we rarely make in our day-to-day lives.

This book of Moments represents just a fraction of the stories we received. Hundreds morein words, images, and even tweetscan be found at www.smithmag.net/themoment. Everyone has a Moment, and we hope youll be moved to share your own.

Larry Smith
Brooklyn

B lack smoke was pumping heavily from the house when we arrived. The chief looked unhappy; the first arriving crews hadnt pinpointed the fire yet, and the situation was devolving. My crew was trained for search and rescue, and that was all we were supposed to do, but today the chief growled, Grab a hose and find the goddamn thing. My partner for the shift was Victor. He was a baker in his off time and I liked him immensely, but he had a maddening tendency to do everything slowly and very carefully. So I had to wait behind for him, and, much to my dismay, Frank got to the nozzle first. Frank was a third-generation firefighter; he was aggressive, eager, and strong. Still, I wanted to be on the nozzle, the one who faced the fire head-on. Too late. Frank and his partner were charging into the garage, pushing open a side door. I followed, with Victor trailing.

As one of the few females in the San Francisco Fire Department, I had a lot to prove; the men viewed girls as sissies, I thought, and I had been put on Gods dear green earth to show everyone otherwise. To that end, I jostled to grab the Jaws of Life before anyone else, gleefully attended the most gruesome amputations, grinned about the biggest, baddest fires. I once jumped across an alley, from one building to another, five stories up, in full fire gear. I did it because another firefighter had done it, and I figured that if he did, I had better too. No one else would do it. They waited for a ladder to be brought up and thrown across, like smart people.

I was young and arrogant and flippant. God, I was a pain in the ass. And, of course, my comeuppance was nigh.

The situation now in the houses hallway was pretty typicalpitch black from smoke, and hot. Very hot. We were all crawling, dragging hose, bumping into walls and each other. Thenit was this simplethe world exploded. Later it would seem fitting that my turning point arrived the way a revelation should: with a great flash of light. The next second we were in the garage, untangling from each other. I sat up, dazed. Someone said, Flashover!

Flashovers are no joke. In technical terms, according to Wikipedia, flashovers happen when the majority of surfaces in a space are heated to the autoignition temperature of the flammable gases, also known as Flash Point. Flashover normally occurs at 500 degrees Celsius (930 degrees Fahrenheit) or 1,100 degrees Fahrenheit for ordinary combustibles, and an incident heat flux at floor level of 1.8 Btu/ foot.

Put it in plain English: The air somewhere near us had exploded into flame.

Now there were curses from Andy, and Frank was grabbing each of us by the shoulders and shouting, Are you okay?! Are you okay?! We were, it seemed. All this took only a few seconds, then Frank said, Wheres Victor?

Victor? He wasnt in the garage. Which meant he was still inside. I processed this in what seemed like slow motion. Everything took on a surreal drawn-out quality. Frank, turning back the way we had so unceremoniously come, Andys curse words like a long, slow yawn in my ears. Victor was my partner, therefore my responsibility. But suddenly I was frozen, stuck to the floor in some strange, paralyzed state I had never felt before.