Beth Berry - Motherwhelmed: Challenging Norms, Untangling Truths, and Restoring Our Worth to the World

Praise for Motherwhelmed

It would be an injustice to call Motherwhelmed a book; it is a kaleidoscope. With every turn of the page, an awakening is made that forever alters your view of your sense of self, your truth, and your purpose. As I journeyed through Beths skillfully crafted prose, I found myself unable to stand by as a passive recipient of her message. I needed to act; I needed to sift; I needed to reconsiderand as a result, I came away lighter, clearer, and stronger. If you yearn to stop inviting guilt, failure, and perfection to sabotage your everyday life and your contribution to the world, step into the kaleidoscope that is Motherwhelmed. Turn the pagewake up, stand up, rise up and live. The world needs the gift of you. ~Rachel Macy Stafford, New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and certified special education teacher

This is not only a book about motherhood, vulnerability, and the overwhelm of bothits also a story about giving yourself permission to be the woman you envision yourself to be. The woman you know you are deep in your heart. Its a story about motherhood and love, yes, but its also one of freedom, too. Its not about losing yourself in motherhood, but finding yourself through it. Its beautiful and life-changing. ~Colleen Temple, writer + editor of Motherlys This Is Motherhood

In a culture where mothers are endlessly bombarded with messages to do more, be more, and give more, Beths words are a balm for the tired mothers soul. With empathy, compassion, honesty, and grace, Beth meets you where you are, takes your hand, and shows you another way. Instead of shaping you to be worthy of motherhood, she transforms motherhood to be worthy of you . Beth offers us a place where mothers can do more than survive: where we all may thrive, if only we take the risk to rethink, relearn, and soar. ~ Rachel Jepson Wolf, Author of The Unplugged Family Activity Book and Herbal Adventures

A validating, cathartic, and necessary read for every modern mother. Motherwhelmed is food for the soul as it brilliantly unpacks the inner and outer barriers to our authenticity and true happiness as overworked moms. Berry candidly shares her deeply relatable missteps and misgivings as a parent, along with her journey back to herself, giving mothers everywhere an inspiring and do-able blueprint for their own peace, healing, and relief from care-taking overwhelm. Berry also empowers the reader by pointing out our real superpowers as moms - and psssst - its not doing it all! ~Brandy Ferner, author of Adult Conversation: A Novel

In one of the most relatable books I have ever read, Beth so eloquently and exquisitely puts into words the unique challenges of modern-day motherhood and the narratives we have created about what it means to be a mother. Beth takes us on a journey of exploration and curiosity as she empowers us to reclaim our inherent worthiness and value as mothers. ~Taylor Kulik, Sleep & Wellbeing Specialist

Motherwhelmed

Challenging Norms, Untangling Truths, and Restoring Our Worth to the World

Beth Berry

Motherwhelmed

Copyright 2020 by Beth Berry

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, inquire with the publisher below.

Revolution from Home Publishing

Publishers Cataloging-in-Publication data Berry, Beth.

Editor: Christi McGuire

Cover design: David Wardle

Interior design: Andrea Reider

Author Photograph: Jote Khalsa

ISBN: 978-1-7346717-0-4 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-7346717-1-1 (ebook)

1. Motherhood

2. Parenting

3. Womens Empowerment

4. Conscious Parenting

First Edition

Copyrighted Material

There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why theyre falling in.

Desmond Tutu

If we attempt to act and to do things for others and for the world without deepening our own self-understanding, our own freedom, integrity and capacity to love, we will not have anything to give to others.

Thomas Merton

The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children.

Elaine Heffner

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my daughters, for awakening me; to Hunter, for believing in me; and to all the mothers and grandmothersboth in the visible and invisible realmswhove remembered, spoken up, broken free, and protected wildness toward my souls liberation.

A Bow to the Sacred Mother

(And a Note from the Author)

W hen I set out to write this book, I figured it would take me three, maybe six months to complete. Because Im at such close rangebecause I, myself, feel motherwhelmed so much of the timeI assumed that reflecting on motherhood would be a piece of cake. But just as motherhood itself rarely unfolds as we imagine, the reality of writing a book about motherhood, while very much in the depths of mother ing , has been nothing like the journey I thought Id signed up for. Though it would be easy to blame the hundred million needs and interruptions of my four children for the seven years its turned into (okay, I partially blame them), a truer story is this

Sometimes I can access clarity in the midst of chaos, and sometimes I cant. Sometimes I have the emotional reserves to deconstruct the messier aspects of my life, and sometimes its all I can do just to survive them. Sometimes I feel confident in my reflections, and sometimes I feel much too vulnerable and sensitive to share them. And sometimes I feel brave enough to speak my truth, while other days Id rather play my introvert card and hide.

A while back, another factor in the delay became clear to me: the same perfectionism and passion that defined my early years as a mother showed up in the early years of my writing career. The pressure I put on myself has been immense, and now that I see it, it seems almost laughable.

I was trying to solve the problem of motherwhelm, not only for myself but also for the whole of The Mother hood . And because there were still so many days when motherhood kicked my butt, my inner critic ran wild, making a real mess of my inner landscape. She said things like, What makes you an authority on this? Just look how imperfect your own life is! and Oh, yeah? You want to write a book called Motherwhelmed ? Well, lets make sure youre experiencing a heavy dose of it just to keep you humble, and Sure would be easier to catch up on the laundry, dont you think? Besides, your family needs you. Isnt this project a little on the selfish side?

Thing is, I would recognize that voice anywhere. She was my constant companion while I was raising babies and used to say things to me like, Nice work cleaning the house and paying the bills. Too bad you practically ignored your kids in order to get it all done, and Sure, you got dinner on the table, but the girls fought the whole time you ate. What does that say about your priorities? and Dont worry, all you have to do is sleep less and sacrifice more and youll get ahead, eventually.

By recognizing these voices as one in the same, I suddenly had access to all my favorite, well-worn tools for re-centering myself in my truth and power. Heres what I realized once I put them to use:

• Its not a problem that its taken me six years to finish this book. Its my thoughts about the timeline that have been causing me stress and anxiety.
• Perfection is not a prerequisite for showing up and sharing my heart. If it were, no one would ever share anything, ever .