Kris Kneen - The Three Burials of Lotty Kneen: Travels with My Grandmothers Ashes

In her 2010 memoir, Affection, Krissy Kneen introduced readers to her unique family and the towering matriarchal figure of her grandmother. Stern, domineering, fiercely loving, Lotty Kneenborn Dragicawas always tight-lipped about her early life and family history. She rebuffed Krissys curiosity and forbade her from taking the trip back to the old country that might have satisfied it.

When her grandmother died recently, Krissy finally felt at liberty to explore the questions that had nagged at her for so long. In The Three Burials of Lotty Kneen Krissy sets out with a box containing her grandmothers ashes, intending to trace the old womans early life in Slovenia and Egypt, and perhaps locate some remnants of family. Along the way she uncovers the extraordinary story of the colony of Slovene women who became the nannies of choice for the wealthy Italians of pre-war Alexandriaand identifies as best she can the places where Lottys restless, demanding spirit will be at peace.

My grandmother Dragica (Lotty), my mother Wendy, my grandfather Charles KneenEgypt 1940

Thank you: first, to my small but vital immediate family. My grandmother Lotty Kneen (Dragica Marui), my mother Wendy, my aunt Sheila, my sister Karen, my grandfather Charles. My surviving family may find this book difficult to read, but it is my story and it is intertwined with your own. I would not be who I am without you. I am you. I love you. I apologise in advance for my version of the story, which will always be different from yours.

To my father Barry ElphickI asked if you wanted to read this in draft form and you told me that you would love me no matter what I wrote. I hope you know how special that is to me. I hope you know how much I love you.

To my extended family: Michael Marui, Karen Barlin, Dan Marui, Slavitca Mozeti, Ingrid Ozbot, Anton Ozbot, Magda Ibrahim, Riem Rostom, Denise Elphick, Helen and Peter Mullins. Thank you so much for helping me piece together an old and broken puzzle.

To Anthony Mullins, my lover and friend. Thanks for helping me out on the journey.

The collaborative process of finishing a book is a very delicate dance between an editor and a writer. I would like to thank Mandy Brett for being the best dance partner, someone I can respect and trust to put the work first.

To Jane Novak, my agent, you are literally the best! Thanks for believing in this book and in me and helping me through the rough bits.

Thanks to Text Publishing, my team mates and the best publishing house in the world. Thanks for sticking by me, and in particular to Jamila Khodja for all the work you do.

To the people who helped in my travels whilst researching this book so many, many thanks: James Cosier, Ana Mihor, Miha Grum, Beejay Silcox, Sam Allen, Salwa Hegazi, Tarek Hegazi, Anna Chrisp, Janez Bogatai, Gail Jones, Igor Maver, Tanja Miskova, Sister Margueretta, Francesca Biancani, Dr Amro Ali, Asmaa El-Saleh, and Neda. This book only exists because of your generosity.

To Fiona Stager and everyone at Avid Reader. Thanks for putting up with my regular writerly disappearances and in particular the months away from the coal face to write this book. Best bookshop in the universe! Best crew to call my own.

And to my first readers and support crew who helped me shape my thoughts into words, Anthony Mullins, Beejay Silcox, Melissa Lucashenko, Kristina Olsson, Ashley Hay, Mirandi Riwoe, Ellen Van Neerven, Trent Jamieson, Cass Moriarty, Omid Tofighian, Amro Ali, Benjamin Law, Favel Parrett, Bram Presser, Trent Dalton, Helen O leary, Sally Piper, Jackie Ryan, Carody Culver, Anna Jacobson, Laura Elvery, Jason Reed, Kasia Janczewski and Indy Medeiros.

I could not have written this book without the support of a grant from the Australia Council for the Arts. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity this provided to travel to Slovenia and to Egypt.

I would like to acknowledge the support of the Australian and Slovenian embassies and their staff in Egypt.

Sections of this book have been published before.

A version of Wundermrchen was published in Rebellious Daughters, edited by Lee Kofman and Maria Katsonis.

Beautiful Vida was published in Griffith Review Novella Project VII: The Light Ascending.

How to Preserve a Turnip was published in Griffith Review 58: Storied Lives.

In a Grave Divided was published in Chicago Quarterly Review #30.

Trauma was read and recorded for Queerstories, a reading series curated by Maeve Marsden.

It takes a library to make a book. This book could not have been finished without the following reference books and essays.

The Hunger Winter, edited by Tom Bijvoet and Anne van Arragon Hutten

Koline: The Ritual of Slaughter and Meat in Slovenia by Janez Bogataj

Slovenian Potica by Janez Bogataj

The Food and Cooking of Slovenia by Janez Bogataj

Slovenia 1945 by John Corsellis and Marcus Ferrar

Gut by Giulia Enders

Slovenian Cooking by Andrej A. Fritz

The Original Folk and Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm by Grimm and Zipes

Identifying with Nationality: Europeans, Ottomans, and Egyptians in Alexandria by Will Hanley

From Slovenia to Egypt edited by Mirjam Milhari Hladnik

Going Places: Slovenian Womens Stories on Migration edited by Mirjam Milhari Hladnik and Jernej Mleku

A Treasury of Slovenian Folklore, translated and retold by Barbara Kerr and Joan Meade

The Alexandrians Aleksandrinke by Darinka Kozinc

Supernatural Beings from Slovenian Myth and Folk Tales by Monika Kropej

The Land Between: A History of Slovenia edited by Oto Luthar

The Gene, An Intimate History by Siddhartha Mukherjee

The Alexandrians, a film by Metoda Pevca

Culinary Slovenia by Joze Piano

IsonzoThe Forgotten Sacrifice of the Great War by John R. Schindler

From the Beast to the Blonde by Marina Warner

No Go the Bogeyman by Marina Warner

It didnt Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn

I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life by Ed Yong

The Irresistible Fairy Tale by Jack Zipes

ALSO BY KRISSY KNEEN

Affection: a memoir of love, sex and intimacy

Triptych

Steeplechase

The Adventures of Holly White and the Incredible Sex Machine

An Uncertain Grace

Wintering

Krissy Kneen is a Brisbane writer. Her novel An Uncertain Grace was shortlisted for the 2018 Stella Prize. In 2014 she won the Thomas Shapcott Poetry Prize for Eating My Grandmother.

krissykneen.com

@krissykneen

The best book I have read in years. I believe it is Krissy Kneens masterpieceI loved every word.