Kirsten Lagatree - Keep It Together: 200+ tips, tricks, lists, and solutions for everyday life

Table of Contents

In Memory of

Helen Crane
(June 25, 1913February 21, 2004)

Who gave birth to Mary and Joseph but raised a dozen more children

and kept the memory of the old Bronx alive for a grateful new generation

Acknowledgments

Im fortunate to have a village full of people who helped me with this book in a variety of ways. Its daunting to attempt to thank each one, but its sure worth a try.

First, absolutely, on my gratitude list is my friend and companion in writing and reading, Rita DiMatteo. Without Ritas fine minda veritable fireworks fountain of inspired ideasthis book would be less complete. And without Ritas friendship, so would my life.

Thanks to Richard Schlesinger, friend to all creatures great and small, for his assistance with research and writing.

Im grateful for professional advice from: Caryl Heaton, D.O., Associate Professor and Vice Chair of Family Medicine at UMDNJNew Jersey Medical School; Ron Owens, M.A., Hospice of New Jersey; Mary E. WanderPolo, J.D., founding member of the New York State Bar Associations Elder Law Section and the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. Real estate professionals Barbara and Leon Shoag of Remax Realty in Long Beach, California, and Adriana OToole and Barbara Rudy of Montclair Realty in Montclair, New Jersey.

A bundle of gratitude to pals Alice Bredin, Kerry Donahue, Page Edmunds, Pam Satran, and Lisa Vitale, whose personal experience of being new moms contributed richly to this book. Thank you and awe to the amazing Karen Weaver for cosmopolitan savvy and great list ideas and tips.

I am grateful for the contributions of Katherine Tallmadge, author of Diet Simple, and Washington, DC nutritionist who makes the movers and shakers in Washington move and drink shakes; event planner Carol Beaugard, founder and president of Affairs of Distinction (www.affairsofdistinction.com), who could show Ms. Stewart a thing or two about throwing an elegant wedding; and organizer Deborah Gussoff of In Order, Inc. (www.inorder.com), who has shown me a thing or two about getting and staying organized.

My thanks to Lance Ness, L.C.S.W., behavior health-care administrator, for his insight and advice on a wide range of issues, and also to Michelle Lepak, L.C.S.W., for lending moral support and insight on several areas of the book. Thank you to consummate professional Marion Lagatree, for coaching me on legal and crime prevention tips, and to Catherine Carlisle, Kitty Felde, John Galligan, Richard Koonce, Marian McDonald, Meg Mc-Sweeney, Annie Paine, Frank Paine, Suzanne Paine, Reverend Victor R. Peterson, and Jon (H. G.) Randel for their great ideas and wholehearted support.

Special thanks to Steve Adamczyk for technical assistance and waffles.

Much love and deepest appreciation to my friend Epp Raun, who literally flew to my side whenever I needed help of any kind.

Many thanks to my talented agent Jonathan Peckarsky of The William Morris Agency, and a veritable blizzard of gratitude to my meticulous, marvelous, and patient editor, Paula Consolo. I also want to recognize Jena Pincott, late of Random House and last heard from somewhere near the Himalayas, who was a great champion of this book from its earliest days.

Special thanks to Elinor Lipman, my friend, guardian angel, and favorite author.

As always, my love and gratitude to Bruce, Marion, Donald, and my favorite person on the planet, Leo T. Lagatree.

Introduction

Remember when you were a kid and you thought adults knew everything? You figured by the time you grew up you would know everything, too. Then you hit that magic age; maybe for you it was twenty-one. If you could be served in a bar, surely all the important facts and answers youd ever need would soon begin to congregate in your head. But no, not quite, not yet.

If youre in your twenties or thirties right now, you may still hold out hope that at some point the answers to all lifes questions will be right on the tip of your tongue. Dont hold your breath. If youre already forty, the cats probably out of the bag by now. Youre resigned to the fact that getting older doesnt mean having all the answers.

The plain truth, as it turns out, is that adulthood descends, experience accumulates, and still we stumble into situations that baffle us. No matter how many birthdays have scampered by, none of us is ever quite ready for all of lifes challenges.

Raise your hand if youve ever thought: Oh jeez, shouldnt I know this already? Or worse: Yikes, how do I deal with this? Hey, it happens. Eventually, even the coolest and most confident person will have an oh jeez or yikes moment. No one can know everything, and why bother to try? As Albert Einstein very sensibly asked, Why should I memorize anything if I can just look it up? He had an excellent point. And you now have Keep It Together, the very book where you can just look it up.

There are so many practical skills we need to master as adults. We learn some from our parents, and occasionally we soak up useful information at school, but wouldnt it be great to be offered a class called On Your Own for the First Time 101, when you find yourself on your own, whether you are twenty-one, forty-one, or sixty-one? This book serves as that class, covering down-and-dirty, hands-on topics, such as how to:

Do the laundry without doing it any harm.

Choose and use a credit card without ruining your credit.

Rent an apartment you will enjoy living in.

Shop and cook for yourself in a reasonably civilized manner.

Manage monthly bills so they dont sneak up on you when youre broke.

Eventually those ordinary tasks become old hat, but life changes quickly and, before you know it, you are stepping into unknown territory once again. Perhaps youre facing a sensitive or sorrowful situation that would be a challenge for anyone, no matter what their age or experience. Keep It Together can help with those less concrete, but no less critical, how-tos:

Help a friend whos dealing with grief or a serious illness.

Work any room and be the perfect guestor host.

Find ways to connect with your community.

Apologize graciously or mend a rift with a friend.

Negotiate with anyone.

For those carefree moments in life, Keep It Together can guide you with the frivolous, but no less compelling, questions of how to:

Choose an exotic vacation.

Write the perfect on-line dating profile.

Choose a feng shui practitioner.

Pick out the perfect present.

Shop for airfare and hotel deals on the Internet.

Tip with confidence and style wherever you go.

Whether youre just starting out in life or on your own for the first time in a long while, Keep It Together will become your new best friend, your dependable reference for life in the world today.

Keep It Together will help you get it together, too.

Write an Effective Daily To-Do List